Drinking quotes

“- Turkish waiter: Your order sir?
- Woody Wilkins: I'll have one of those.
- Turkish waiter: One Istanbul Express.
- Woody Wilkins: Yes. A double.
- Turkish waiter: A double? Nobody orders the double, sir!
- Woody Wilkins: Okay. Make it a triple.”
Michael Crawford - Woody Wilkins

“I'll make it up to Odie tomorrow. I'll teach him how to drink out of the toilet.”

Bill Murray - Garfield

I believe that the phrase "time in a bottle" refers to the amount of beer you can drink before last call.
Bill Engvall - Himself

“- Brian: Should we let it breathe?
- Doug: It hasn't breathed for fifty years, it's dead. Let's just drink it.”
Tom Cruise - Brian Flanagan
Bryan Brown - Doug Coughlin

“I swear to God, I can't stand them when they get drunk, and belive me I have learned that you do not want to mess with them when they get that way. You just gotta ride it out until it passes.”

Kristy McNichol - Patti Jean

“- Lauren Travis: Do you think that lesbianism and alcoholism are directly related?
- Casey Montgomery: Maybe.”
Elle Macpherson - Lauren Travis
Kate Capshaw - Casey Montgomery

“- Gordon Urquhart: I want you to try this Scotch. It's 42 years old.
- Mac MacIntyre: Old enough to be out on its own.”
Denis Lawson - Urquhart
Peter Riegert - Mac

- Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'll show you how to chug a beer, motherfucker, you fat fuckin' cow.
- Landfill: Uh oh! I think somebody's trying to chug in my face!
Steve Lemme - Steve "Fink" Finklestein
Kevin Heffernan - Landfill

“I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.”
Robert Charles Benchley

“I want to sit under a linden tree with nothing more important to worry about but the temperature of the beer. If there is anything more important.”
Walter Huston - Sam Dodsworth

“- Ferrin: On account of what don't you drink?
- Vann: I don't know. On account of nothing I guess.
- Ferrin: Well, if you want, I'll be at Hobie's after work. You can watch me.”

Janeane Garofalo - Ferrin
Owen Wilson - Vann

“- Adam Carr: There you are. I have been looking all over for you.
- Kate Davies: And I wasn't at the bottom of the bottle?”

David Boreanaz - Adam Carr
Marley Shelton - Kate Davies

“- Pitt Mackeson: I am going in there. I'm for certain sure going in there. I want a drink, and they have drinks in Newport.
- Jake: They'll kill you, you best stay clear out of there.
- Pitt Mackeson: I don't think so, Dutchie. I don't reckon I'll clear out of where I was born. You see that there was my hometown, and I reckon I'll go on in and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers - Pitt Mackeson
Tobey Maguire - Jake Roedel

“Are you desirable? Are you irresistible? Maybe if you drank bourbon with me, it would help. Maybe if you kissed me and I could taste the sting in your mouth it would help. If you drank bourbon with me naked. If you smelled of bourbon as you fucked me, it would help. It would increase my esteem for you.”

Nicolas Cage - Ben Sanderson

“- Sidney Cochran: Where are you going?
- Diana Barrie: I need another drink. The last one wore off in the lift.”
Sir Michael Caine - Sidney Cochran
Maggie Smith - Diana Barrie

“- Peter McGowan: Can I have a valediction, father?
- Larry: Say four Goly Fuck You's and keep drinking.”

Sir Kenneth Branagh - Peter McGowan
Peter Riegert - Larry

“- Jeff Dunham: What's your favorite beer?
- Bubba J.: An open one.
- Jeff Dunham: How do you know when you drink too much?
- Bubba J.: I run out.”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Bubba J.
Jeff Dunham

“- Rita Boyle: You want a Molson?
- Peter Hoskins: You drink Molson?
- Rita Boyle: Uh-huh.
- Peter Hoskins: In your own home?
- Rita Boyle: I've been known to.”
Meg Ryan - Rita Boyle
Alec Baldwin - Peter Hoskins

“- Whit: Uncle Red, don't you think you have a problem with your drinking?
- Red Stovall: Only when I can't get it.
- Whit: I mean - don't you think you might need some help with your drinking?
- Red Stovall: No, I do quite well all by myself.”
Kyle Eastwood - Whit
Clint Eastwood - Red Stovall

“- Norman Burroughs: I haven't had a drink in four years.
- Deirdre Burroughs: Excuse me, can you get him a medal?”
Alec Baldwin - Norman Burroughs
Annette Bening - Deirdre Burroughs

“I'd like to propose a toast, to my son. He is eighteen today. He has just ordered his first drink. Before he drinks it, I'd like to wish him a long life, a wife as fine as his mother, and a son as fine as he's been. To my son!”
Robert Duvall - Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum

“If I were you I'd give AA some thought. Alcoholism is a disease, you know.”

Bob Balaban - Elliott Webley

“- Robbie Hart: Are you drinking, too?
- Julia: No, it's Coca-Cola.
- Robbie Hart: Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-Cola?
- Julia: I'm not a big drinker. And if it was, I'd probably be puking more than that kid!
- Robbie Hart: Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than that kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him.”
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart
Drew Barrymore - Julia Sullivan

“- Duncan McDermott: Kit, I hate to bring it up with this sumptuous repast, but it looks as if you're drinking a glass of puke.
- Kit McDermott: You'd know.”
Sean Astin - Duncan McDermott
Dermot Mulroney - Kit McDermott

“- 1st Victim: How much fun is it?
- Julia: What?
- 1st Victim: Drinking alone?
- Julia: Not much.”
Anthony Allen - 1st Victim
Clare Higgins - Julia