Genitalia quotes

“Let me just ask you one thing - after 600 years, how's that dick workin', pretty good?”

James Woods - Jack Crow

“Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead.”

John Cusack - Rob Gordon

“- Harry: Whoa, Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
- Ira: Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
- Nurse Tate: Doctor, look!
- Dr. Paulson: It's headed for his testicles.
- Harry: Take it! Take it! Take the leg!”

Orlando Jones - Harry
David Duchovny - Ira
Wendy Braun - Nurse Tate
Wayne Duvall - Dr. Paulson

“Ellie, I had so much fun tonight. We got drunk, we almost got mugged, I met a sailor with a big fish.”
Mary Gross - Janis Zuckerman

“Angels are ill-equipped. See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll.”
Alan Rickman - Metatron

“- Max: I ain't getting in that.
- Kevin: No, Max, come on. I mean, it's not like you're using it for much else anyway, right?”

Joaquin Phoenix - Max
Tate Donovan - Kevin Donaldson

I wonder what her twat looks like. You ever wonder that? 'Cause sometimes she'll be talkin' to me and all I can think is "What's your twat look like? Why don't you show it to me you fuckin' bitch?". Yeah, I'm twisted. I got problems. I know I do.
Paul Weitz - Sam

“- Scott Thomas: I told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
- Cooper Harris: Well given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.”
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris

- Tick: Kevin had one of those liposuction penis enlargements.
- Felicia: He didn't?
- Tick: Yep. Do you know what they do? They siphon all the fat out of your love handles, and actually inject it into your wing-wang.
- Felicia: Ugh! Yucky! I suppose it gives a whole new meaning to "cracking a fat", though, doesn't it?
Hugo Weaving - Tick
Guy Pearce - Felicia

“I lied. I was extremely attracted to you. I just didn't want you to see my unusually small penis.”

Peter Dvorsky - Matthew

“- Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
- Jim Levenstein: Thanks, Dad.
- Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.”
Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“I'm gonna walk down that stinkin' runway, open up this faggot robe and wiggle my dick at 'em! And do you know why? Because I want you to have a heart-attack and die so we don't have to do this shit again! You and your fucking fashion shows!”

Allan F. Nicholls - Upton

“I'm not interested in your goddamn vagina, all right? I just want to marry you!”

Chris O'Donnell - Jimmie Shannon

- Pauline: What does "broccoli" mean?
- Frannie: Depends on the context. Pubic hair or marijuana. It's a noun.
- Pauline: And "Virginia"?
- Frannie: Vagina. As in: "He penetrated her Virginia with a hammer".
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Pauline
Meg Ryan - Frannie Avery

“My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler

“- Hyde: I'm a drug crazed beast with a giant erection that won't go away no matter how many times I do it. You're a nurse; what can you give me for it?
- Nurse with Telegram: I can give you sixty dollars and my wedding ring.
- Hyde: Bus fare! I need big money for drugs!”
Mark Blankfield - Mr. Edward Hyde
Lin Shaye - Nurse with Telegram

“- Flight Attendant: There was this strange humming sound coming from his pants.
- Roland Jones: From the front or the back?”
Samantha Smith - Flight Attendant
John Goodman - Roland Jones

“Is that a dagger in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

Kristy McNichol - Mabel Stanley

“- Dr. Michael Reynolds: Why don't you grow some pubic hair, junior?
- Brandon 'Blue' Monroe: I got pubic hair, asshole. It's the one place I got hair left.”
Woody Harrelson - Dr. Michael Reynolds
Jon Seda - Brandon 'Blue' Monroe

“- Ramon: You have to say something nice about my penis!
- Romy White: Oh, Ramon! Your penis is so powerful! I'm coming! Okay, thanks, get off me now.”
Jacob Vargas - Ramon
Mira Sorvino - Romy White

“- Joe Hallenbeck: Where are you goin'?
- Jimmy Dix: To the bathroom, okay. You wanna come? The doc said I shouldn't lift anything heavy.
- Joe Hallenbeck: No, I'll pass.”
Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck
Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix

“I'm tellin you I love you, and all you love is my dick! Do you know how that makes me feel?”

Vincent D'Onofrio - Bill

“- Roger Cobb: You'll have to do it.
- Edwina Cutwater: Do what?
- Roger Cobb: You know, take it out.
- Edwina Cutwater: Take what out?
- Roger Cobb: The little fireman.
- Edwina Cutwater: The little fireman?
- Roger Cobb: You know, my penis.”
Steve Martin - Roger Cobb
Lily Tomlin - Edwina Cutwater

“- Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell: It was an accident.
- Carol Heathrow: An accident?
- Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell: Carol, seriously, it was an accident. I swear to God.
- Carol Heathrow: An accident? Your thing just got into a box of popcorn?”
Mickey Rourke - Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell
Colette Blonigan - Carol Heathrow

“Your father's a lot bigger than I am. Of course, I'm bigger where it really counts!”
Brad Pitt - Dwight Ingalls