Genitalia quotes

“What's that? Your IQ, or the size of your dick?”
Kathleen Turner - Vic

“An erection is a flagpole on your grave.”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

“- Osmosis Jones: What the heck is a uvula?
- Drix: It's that little dangly hing that hangs down in Frank's...
- Osmosis Jones: Boxer shorts! Okay, here we go!
- Drix: Not that little dangly thing! The one in his throat!”
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones
David Hyde Pierce - Drix

“One of the ugliest bitches I've ever seen in my life rolled up, and I'm not one to call women ugly, but I think this woman was, because she had a penis.”
Dave Chappelle - Disco Cabbie

“- Lou Fimple: One more thing, lover boy...
- Deborah Anne Fimple: Oh, God.
- Lou Fimple: Get her pregnant, I'll blow your dick off.”

Fred Ward - Lou Fimple
Kelly Preston - Deborah Anne Fimple

“That must be Lord Farquaad's castle... Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?”

Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Rooney: Jesus! You got here you jerked off 168 times? And it's been one month since your last confession? That's an average of...
- Williams: 5.6 times a day.
- Rooney: Oh, my God, you can't tell him that. He'll cut your balls off.”

Kevin Dillon - Rooney
Stephen Geoffreys - Williams

“Nearly as big as my dick... nearly as big as my dick... and twice as fucking hard!”

Rhys Ifans - Alex Madden

“Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.”
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty

“- Joe Wenteworth: My balls just turned to prunes!
- Simon Birch: My balls just turned to raisins!”
Joseph Mazzello - Joe Wenteworth
Ian Michael Smith - Simon Birch

“- Evelyn Kelcher: Is Charlie pressuring you into doing things you don't think you should be doing?
- Peggy Sue: What do you mean?
- Evelyn Kelcher: Peggy, you know what a penis is? Stay away from it!”
Barbara Harris - Evelyn Kelcher
Kathleen Turner - Peggy Sue

“- Young Man in Hospital: What you in for, brother?
- Harry Monroe: There's got to be some kind of confusion. They say my appendix grew back; but, I had it taken out years ago. What about you?
- Young Man in Hospital: I came in for a hernia operation. They cut off one of my nuts by mistake.
- Harry Monroe: Say what!”
Franklyn Ajaye - Young Man in Hospital
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“That's why these lesbians are always going out and buyin', spendin' all their dough on sexual appliances and erotic monkey wrenches and shit, tryin' to compensate for what they don't have... the penis.”
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli

“Why do guys like to do it in front of a mirror? Because objects appear larger than they actually are.”
Mel Gibson - Nick Marshall

“- Helen Jordan: Anyway, so the police came and looked in her freezer and found baggies filled with the doorman's genitals.
- Mona Jordan: I use baggies.
- Joy Jordan: Me too.
- Helen Jordan: Everyone uses baggies, that's why we can all relate to this crime. Don't you see?”
Lara Flynn Boyle - Helen Jordan
Louise Lasser - Mona Jordan
Jane Adams - Joy Jordan

“The Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project was a great idea that just ran out of steam. We had removed five cartoon penises - not even 10% - when we were shut down due to lack of funding. To this day, I am haunted by those remaining penises. One penis in particular...”

Amy Poehler - Leslie Knope

“- Captain Malone: Was this girl raped, doc?
- Medical Examiner: There's no evidence of forcible entry.
- Leo Kessler: I could have told you that, ya know.
- Medical Examiner: On the basis of what?
- Leo Kessler: If anybody does something like this, his knife has gotta be his penis.”

Wilford Brimley - Captain Malone
Jerome Thor - Medical Examiner
Charles Bronson - Leo Kessler

“Better be careful kid, one false move and you'll cut your balls off.”

Matt Adler - Chris

“Man, of course men gives better blow jobs! Listen, I know what it feels like to get my dick sucked, right? And I know what I like when I get my dick sucked. So when I'm sucking a dick, I know that what I'm doing is what I like and that is the best of it that can be done.”
Norman Reedus - Brautigan

- Valentin Arregui: Stop crying! You sound just like an old woman!
- Luis Molina: It's what I am! It's what I am!
- Valentin Arregui: What's this between your legs, huh? Tell me, "lady"!
- Luis Molina: It's an accident. If I had the courage, I'd cut it off.
- Valentin Arregui: You'd still be a man! A man! A man in prison! Just like the faggots... (continue)(continue reading)
Raul Julia - Valentin Arregui
William Hurt - Luis Molina

“- Nice Guy Eddie: The chick got tired of him beatin' her so one night she walks in the guys bedroom and super glues his dick to his belly. Ambulance came and had to cut the prick loose.
- Mr. White: Was he all pissed off?
- Nice Guy Eddie: How would you feel if every time you had to take a piss you had to do a fuckin' hand stand?”
Chris Penn - Nice Guy Eddie
Harvey Keitel - Mr. White

“All of you can kiss my rebel dick.”
Dennis Quaid - Doc Holliday

“Do you know why women are able to train us? They are smarter than us. It ain't that big a deal. That's saying you're smarter than a creature who every time it takes its underwear off tries to catch them with its toes, flip them in the air, and catch them with its hand.”
Jeff Foxworthy - Jeff Foxworthy

“Just remember ladies. That this is a cabin for respectable women. There will be no talk of pinkies. They're not playthings, you know! They're weapons! Dangerous weapons! Like loaded guns! They can go off when you least expect it!”
Misty Rowe - Fanny

“Remember, the longer you look, the better it gets. And the better you look, the longer it gets.”
Karen Lee Kelly - Demon Janna