Genitalia quotes

“As long as you keep your work zipped up around me, I don't give a rat-crap what or where you shove your show. Are we done being neighbors for now?”

Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall

“- Dante: You wouldn't wanna be with a girl with an oversized clit?
- Randal: No, 'cause the next step is a guy with an undersized dick.”
Brian O'Halloran - Dante
Jeff Anderson - Randal

“Play with it, pal. Don't talk to it.”

Kenneth Tobey - Man in Restroom

“- Tanya: What are you doing?
- Lt. Frank Drebin: Oh! I was, uh, just conjugating my next move.
- Tanya: Your bishop's exposed.
- Lt. Frank Drebin: It's these pants.”
Anna Nicole Smith - Tanya
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Pee Wee: It's too big.
- Tommy: Pee Wee, we don't have any training rubbers.
- Mickey: He needs the junior size.”

Dan Monahan - Pee Wee
Wyatt Knight - Tommy
Roger Wilson - Mickey

- David Langley: Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer.
- Kevin Langley: Yeah, like "What is an intrauterine device?".
- David Langley: I think more like "What's the meaning of life?".
- Kevin Langley: I never asked you that.
Peter MacNicol - David Langley
Andrew Lawrence - Kevin Langley

“- Maggie: You know Sam, French men are very small.
- Sam: Yeah?
- Maggie: But not this guy. It's like Godzilla's tail! He could take down Tokyo with that thing!”
Meg Ryan - Maggie
Matthew Broderick - Sam

“There will be no penis between us!”

Lonette McKee - Drew

“- Derek: You mess with my nut, Brennan, Randy here is gonna eat your dick.
- Randy: Like Kobayashi. [makes eating noise]
- Derek: I've seen him do it.
- Brennan Huff: You've actually seen him eating a man's penis?
- Derek: It was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him. But I saw it.”
Adam Scott - Derek
Rob Riggle - Randy
Will Ferrell - Brennan Huff

“Sometimes when I'm lyin' in bed, I ache for a man's touch... and by a man's touch, I mean a penis in my vagina.”
Jenna Fischer - Darlene

“- Buck: She used to ride shotgun for me. Then she said it got, uh, got too hard on her ovaries.
- Marshal Curly Wilcox: What's an ovary?
- Buck: Well, near as I can tell, it's uh, you know, part of her machinery.
- Marshal Curly Wilcox: Oh.”

John Schneider - Buck - Overland Stage Driver
Johnny Cash - Marshal Curly Wilcox

“Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who's in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it's universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We... are... men!”
Tom Cruise - Frank T.J. Mackey

“If you have male genitalia and you're sleeping with someone who also has male genitalia, then you have first-hand knowledge of how their equipment works. You know all the pressure-sensitive points. You know what buttons to push. If you're a man having sex with a woman or vice-versa, you never really know how they feel. You don't know if they...” (continue)(continue reading)
Josh Charles - Eddy

“God, does it always shrivel up like that when you shower?”

Cathy Moriarty - Ramona

“I kill with my cunt.”
Anne Carlisle - Margaret

“- Christine Ramsey: Jordan thinks that length is the most important. What do you think?
- Betsy: I think width.
- Christine Ramsey: Why width?
- Betsy: Because Jordan thinks length.”

Phoebe Cates - Christine
Kathleen Wilhoite - Betsy

“- Graydon: The success of our planet and domination of the universe rests in your hands.
- Harold Anderson: Thank you, sir.
- Graydon: Now if you'll go with these men, we'll arrange for your transfer, and attach your penis.”
Ben Kingsley - Graydon
Garry Shandling - Harold Anderson

“- Rapist #1: I'm gettin' my dick wet.
- Rapist #2: She's only got one leg.
- Rapist #1: Easier access.
- Rapist #2: Oh... that is a good point.”
Quentin Tarantino - Rapist #1
Gregory Kelly - Rapist #2

“- Chuck Boran: Whoa, mama. Wouldn't Chuck like to give you his red hot frank!
- Bikini Girl: From what I hear, Chucky, it ain't so hot.”

Mike Bobenko - Chuck Boran

“All right, boys. Let's take a deep breath. Deflate your balls a little bit. Let some of that blood go back to your brains.”

Kim Dickens - Addy Monroe

“- Hitler: I am The Fuhrer. I'd like you to know I have a complete set of testicles.
- Princess Elizabeth: One is very pleased to hear that.”
Antony Sher - Hitler
Neve Campbell - Princess Elizabeth

“- Detective Chuck Fowler: You know anything about this? [unzips his pants] Look. See that red spot over there? That wasn't there this morning. I checked. You know what it is?
- Deuce Bigalow: Maybe it's a rash. Something you got from jogging. How the hell do I know? Get it away from me.”
William Forsythe - Detective Chuck Fowler
Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow

“- Bill: I can't find the hole.
- Harry: You could if it had hair 'round it.”

John Jarratt - Bill
Graham Kennedy - Harry

“- Terry Ann Wolfmeyer: Your father is a small man. A very small man!
- Hadley Wolfmeyer: I hope you're not referring to his genitals because that would just be gross.”
Joan Allen - Terry Ann Wolfmeyer
Alicia Witt - Hadley Wolfmeyer

“You know, I've been thinkin' about that erection of yours. Are you, um, doing anything with it, say around eleven o'clock tonight? You know where I live? Bring it by.”

Dinah Manoff - Lois Cook