Genitalia quotes

“- Scott Howard: Listen, Stiles. Do you know anything about a rash that's going around?
- Stiles: Why, you looking to catch something?
- Scott Howard: No, I'm serious.
- Stiles: No... but I heard Mr. Murphy, you know, the shop teacher?
- Scott Howard: Yeah?
- Stiles: Got his dick caught in a vacuum cleaner.”
Michael J. Fox - Scott Howard
Jerry Levine - Stiles

“I was born by the pussy, I'll die by the pussy.”
Chris Tucker - Skip

Would you care to walk around in the scene with your schlong hanging out? Only in your case, darling, it would be a "schlort".

Lori Lethin - Callie Cassidy

“I was getting a bit choked up with all the testosterone flying about the place. Best I get out before I start growing a penis.”

Gwyneth Paltrow - Helen

“I'm like King Midas - everything I touch turns to poontang!”
Matthew Causey - Pondo

“- Mrs. Kovic: Don't say penis in this house!
- Ron Kovic: Penis! Penis! Big fucking erect penis, mom!”
Caroline Kava - Mrs. Kovic
Tom Cruise - Ron Kovic

“- Dr. Bob Moore: Why don't we just drop our pants and see who's got the bigger dick? Then we can go back and have a nice, civilized breakfast.
- Dr. Bill Capa: Wouldn't be civilized.
- Dr. Bob Moore: Why?
- Dr. Bill Capa: You'd be sulking!”
Scott Bakula - Bob Moore
Bruce Willis - Bill Capa

“You don't understand how I feel! I'm standing there with my pants down and my crotch hung out for the world to see and three guys are sticking it to me, a bunch of other guys are yelling and clapping and you're standing there telling me that that's the best you can do. Well, if that's the best you could do, then your best sucks! Now, I don't...” (continue)(continue reading)

Jodie Foster - Sarah Tobias

“- Amber: Who is this?
- Andre: I am Andre le Pate. I have big balls! And my ass breathes fire!”
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - Amber
Christian Clavier - Andre

“Do you have a penis?”

Robin Weisman - Mary

“Up and down stick? What are you talking about, my dick?”
Richard Pryor - Dr. Eddie Slattery

“I have an enormous collection of vibrators, Father. I have them in all assorted sizes. I have one that's in the shape of a crucifix. My God it's gorgeous. Oh my God, I put it up and put pictures up on the wall of all kinds of things.”

Marla Pennington - Mary Beth McFadden

“- Big Time Willie: Do you know how to spell pussy?
- Coleman 'Booger' Sykes: I know! P-U...
- Big Time Willie: ...H-I-V.”
Roger Guenveur Smith - Big Time Willie
Hill Harper - Coleman 'Booger' Sykes

It was so cute, when he was 6-years-old he walked into the kitchen and said: "Mommy! My peepee's stuck in my zipper!".

Estelle Getty - Tutti

“- Waiting Room Nurse: I'm sorry, the doctor just doesn't do penis enlargements. We don't have the space.
- Waiting Room Patient: We're talking about 3 inches here!”
Daisy Prince - Waiting Room Nurse
Bill Gerber - Waiting Room Patient

“I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.”
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey

“- Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh: The other day Crash called a woman's pu... pussy... um, well, you know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?
- Annie Savoy: Yes, I do.
- Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh: Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again.”
Tim Robbins - Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh
Susan Sarandon - Annie Savoy

“- Vern: This isn't funny! What am I supposed to eat?
- Teddy: You could cook your dick.
- Chris: It'd be a small meal.”

Jerry O'Connell - Vern Tessio
Corey Feldman - Teddy Duchamp
River Phoenix - Chris Chambers

“- Dr. Ben Sobel: I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times...
- Paul Vitti: Eight times.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: ...eight times, is not catastrophic.”

Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

- Ron Albertson: I had to have penis reduction surgery.
- Dr. Allan Pearl: Penis reduction?
- Sheila Albertson: I said to him, "Ron, you've gotta do something!". And he says to me, "Well, why don't you get one of those vagina enlargements?".
Fred Willard - Ron Albertson
Eugene Levy - Dr. Allan Pearl
Catherine O'Hara - Sheila Albertson

“Hi I'm Paulie the Penis. And I just love to have fun.”

Wyatt Knight - Tommy

“- Jon: Did you say I have only one testicle?
- Dr. Aviano: That's right.
- Jon: Nope, nope. Oh no!
- Dr. Aviano: Don't be upset, one is all you need. The other is just sort of a back up. It won't affect your sex life.”

Tom Selleck - Jon Aldrich
Omar Cabral - Dr. Aviano

“The guy who's got the biggest tool, he's the one who wins the pool!”
Joe Rubbo - David

“- Lucia DeLury: Vagina, vagina, vagina. Does that word do anything for you?
- Bill Truitt: I don't think it does much for anyone, gay or straight.”
Lisa Kudrow - Lucia DeLury
Martin Donovan - Bill Truitt

“- Dave: Tell me the first thing that pops into your brain.
- Wally: Pussy!
- Dave: It's amazing! This man is cured!”

Gene Wilder - Dave
Richard Pryor - Wally