Marriage quotes

“The only way to learn a language properly, in fact, is to marry a man of that nationality. You get what they call in Europe a 'sleeping dictionary.' Of course, I have only been married five times, and I speak seven languages. I'm still trying to remember where I picked up the other two.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor

“May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you.”

Dominique McElligott - Bride

“Some of the reason why you have so many divorces is that we tend to get married, most of the time, not for ourselves, but for others, or for how it looks to others.”
Djimon Hounsou

In a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness”.
Susan Sarandon - Beverly Clark

“- Jesse: Listen, if somebody gave me the choice right now, of to never see you again or to marry you, alright, I would marry you, alright. And maybe that's a lot of romantic bullshit, but people have gotten married for a lot less.
- Céline: Actually, I think I had decided I wanted to sleep with you when we got off the train. But now that we've...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ethan Hawke - Jesse
Julie Delpy - Céline

“With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.”

Johnny Depp - Victor Van Dort

“- Rocky Balboa: How did you get so tough?
- Adrian: I live with a fighter.”

Sylvester Stallone - Rocky Balboa
Talia Shire - Adrian

“My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.”
Cathy Ladman

“- Doolittle Lynn: Mr. Webb, me and Loretta are fixin' to get married, if it's alright with you.
- Ted Webb: Go ask Clary.
- Doolittle Lynn: Mrs. Webb, me and Loretta is thinkin' about gettin' married tomorrow.
- 'Clary' Webb: Go ask Ted.
- Loretta Lynn: Doolittle, what are you doin'?
- Doolittle Lynn: Ted says go ask Clary; Clary says go ask Ted...” (continue)(continue reading)

Tommy Lee Jones - Doolittle Lynn
Levon Helm - Ted Webb
Phyllis Boyens-Liptak - Clary' Webb
Sissy Spacek - Loretta Lynn

“- Julianne Potter: Okay, you're Michael, you're in a fancy french restaurant, you order... crème brûlée for dessert, it's beautiful, it's sweet, it's irritatingly perfect. Suddenly, Michael realizes he doesn't want crème brûlée , he wants something else.
- Kimberly Wallace: What does he want?
- Julianne Potter: Jello.
- Kimberly Wallace: Jello?!...” (continue)(continue reading)
Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter
Cameron Diaz - Kimberly Wallace

“You want to know the secret to a happy marriage? Do what I do. Plaster on a fake smile, plow through the next half century, sit back, relax, and wait for the sweet embrace of death!”
Rob Corddry - Mac

“- Margaret Tate: Sweet Andrew.
- Andrew Paxton: I'm listening.
- Margaret Tate: Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?
- Andrew Paxton: Ok. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it.”

Sandra Bullock - Margaret Tate
Ryan Reynolds - Andrew Paxton

“Oh, wedding in Hawaii! Real original!”

Jason Segel - Peter Bretter

“Every time you get hit, feels like I'm getting hit too.”

Renee Zellweger - Mae Braddock

“- Oliver Rose: I think you owe me a solid reason. I worked my ass off for you and the kids to have a nice life and you owe me a reason that makes sense. I want to hear it.
- Barbara Rose: Because. When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.”
Michael Douglas - Oliver Rose
Kathleen Turner - Barbara Rose

“Life is short, but marriage is long, so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster.”
Shirley MacLaine - Katharine Richelieu

“She did not marry your penis. Ok, she didn't only marry your penis.”

Jami Gertz - Dr. Melissa Reeves

“- Athos: I knew a young man once, a Count, who feared he would never fall in love. One day, he met a woman. This woman was more than beautiful. She was intoxicating, mysterious, everything he'd ever dreamed of. He felt his heart would burst if he couldn't have her.
- D'Artagnan: What happened?
- Athos: The poor idiot married her.
- D'Artagnan:...” (continue)(continue reading)
Kiefer Sutherland - Athos
Chris O'Donnell - D'Artagnan

“Am I not a man? And is a man not stupid? I'm a man, so I married. Wife, children, house, everything. The full catastrophe.”
Anthony Quinn - Alexis Zorba

“Marriage hath in it less of beauty but more of safety, than the single life; it hath more care, but less danger, it is more merry, and more sad; it is fuller of sorrows, and fuller of joys; it lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love and charity, and those burdens are delightful.”

Ben Affleck - Ben Holmes

“The man I bought it from explained to me that, when a husband gives
it to his wife, they become two halves of the same person.
Nothing can separate them... not even death.”

Sir Kenneth Branagh - Roman Strauss

“Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage.”

John Travolta - Castor Troy

- Sean Maguire: One night her fart was so loud it woke the dog up, she woke up and said: “was that you?" I said "yeah", I didn't have the heart to tell her.
- Will Hunting: So she woke herself up?
- Sean Maguire: Yeah, She's been dead two years, and that's the shit, I remember wonderful stuff. These are the things I miss the most, these... (continue)(continue reading)
Robin Williams - Sean Maguire
Matt Damon - Will Hunting

“- Elinor Dashwood: I am by no means assured of his regard, and even were he to feel such a preference, I think we should be foolish to assume that there would not be many obstacles to his marrying a... a woman of no rank who cannot afford to buy sugar.
- Mrs. Dashwood: But Elinor, your heart must tell you...
- Elinor Dashwood: In such a...” (continue)(continue reading)
Emma Thompson - Elinor Dashwood
Gemma Jones - Mrs. Dashwood

“Are you married or happy?”

Moe Howard - Moe