Marriage quotes

“Do you know any married people today? They're a team. They pull together and they get rich. They got it all.”
Alec Baldwin - Frederick J. Frenger Jr.

“What has poor Armand done to be condemned to matrimony?”
Anthony Andrews - Sir Percy Blakeney

“Seems to me like Curly's worse since he got married. Like he's sittin' on an ant hill.”
Roman Bohnen - Candy

“Susan, when I married you the first time I only did it to get in your pants. Now I'm doing it because I want to spend the rest of my life getting into your pants.”
Garry Shandling - Harold Anderson

“Back where I come from, there's this quaint old custom. When a guy makes up his mind to marry a girl, he asks her. It's called proposing. Did I miss it?”
Debra Winger - Joy Gresham

“- Peter: I love you, but...
- Both: I'm not in love with you.
- Peter: I don't want to get married.
- Bride: I don't want to get married, either.
- Both: We are not getting married!”
Thomas Jane - Peter Donahue

“- Belle: Another year before our wedding, Ebenezer.
- Young Scrooge: Well, it can't be helped, Belle. How could we marry now? There's not even enough for a decent home. The investments haven't grown as they should.
- Belle: So you said last year.
- Young Scrooge: Business continues to be poor.”
Meredith Braun - Belle
Raymond Coulthard - Young Scrooge

“- Abby: He gave me a little pearl-handled .38 for our first anniversary.
- Ray: Uh-huh.
- Abby: Figured I'd better leave before I used it on him. I don't know how you can stand him.
- Ray: Well, I'm only an employee, I'm not married to him.”
Frances McDormand - Abby
John Getz - Ray

“You know, I never knew what happiness was until I married your mother. And by then it was too late.”
Sir Sean Connery - Paul

“- Dede Truitt: I just don't think it's something we should rush into.
- Lucia DeLury: Oh, no, no. But bring another human life onto the planet - that's whim time.”
Christina Ricci - Dede Truitt
Lisa Kudrow - Lucia DeLury

“Golly dang. If you like piña coladas and gettin' caught in the rain, I may just have to marry you, Captain.”

John Travolta - Paul Brenner

“- Charles Van Doren: Last week alone, I had 11 proposals of marriage!
- Mark Van Doren: Perhaps you should accept one of them.
- Dorothy Van Doren: And to think, they unleash you on those impressionable young minds.
- Mark Van Doren: Well, why not? He's 33 years old, Jesus Christ had a girlfriend at 33 years old.
- Dorothy Van Doren: Look how...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ralph Fiennes - Charles Van Doren
Paul Scofield - Mark Van Doren
Elizabeth Wilson - Dorothy Van Doren
Adam Kilgour - Thomas Merton - The Monk

“- Victoria Aragon: We can sleep in Pedro's room.
- María José Aragón: In that teeny-tiny little bed? On your wedding night? Ay hija, no. You need room, to maneuver.”
Aitana Sánchez-Gijón - Victoria Aragon
Angélica Aragón - Marie Jose Aragon

“- George: That hurt.
- Beatrice Stanhope: Not as much as you will if you do anything to screw up my daughter's marriage to Lyle Van de Groot.”

Brendan Fraser - George
Holland Taylor - Beatrice Stanhope

“Who invited these people? They must be from your side of the family.”

Joanna Lumley - Maudeline Everglot

“- Norbit: This wedding's a shame and I'm here to stop it.
- Kate Thomas: Norbit, what are you doing?
- Norbit: I'm bein' a man for the first time in my life. Kate... Kate, I love you.”

Eddie Murphy - Norbit
Thandie Newton - Kate Thomas

“- Mary Harvard: I don't think we should go together anymore. This is too painful for me. I can't do this. It's over.
- Robert Cole: Marry me.”
Kathryn Harrold - Mary Harvard
Albert Brooks - Robert Cole

“What people want in a marriage is what I call emotional valet parking.”
David Rasche - Alan

“- Uncle Fester Addams: I'm her husband.
- Debbie Jellinsky: Fester!
- Uncle Fester Addams: Gimme a kiss.
- Debbie Jellinsky: Gimme a twenty.”
Chris Lloyd - Uncle Fester
Joan Cusack - Debbie Jellinsky

“If I were to marry him now it would be like marrying a stranger. I can't do it. He frightens me.”

Marsha Hunt - Marja Pacierkowski

“- Pastor Galswells: Dropping the ring. This boy doesn't want to get married.
- Maudeline Everglot: How disgraceful!”

Sir Christopher Lee - Pastor Galswells
Joanna Lumley - Maudeline Everglot

“Ther’s just certain things a man wants from his wife, like to be here when he gets home, to cook a meal once in a while, clean up, and make good love too.”
John Travolta - Bud

“Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, ok. It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday.”

Woody Allen - Cliff Stern

“- Diego Rivera: You've broken my heart, Frida.
- Frida Kahlo: It hurts doesn't it? But why? It was just a fuck, like a handshake.
- Diego Rivera: No. I told you who I was when you married me.
- Frida Kahlo: Yes, you did, and I married you anyway. And, you promised to be loyal. You have been my comrade, my fellow artist... my best friend. But...” (continue)(continue reading)

Alfred Molina - Diego Rivera
Salma Hayek - Frida Kahlo

“- Miles Massey: I do!
- Wee Kirk Priest: Jesus, will you let me finish? Have you never been married before?”

George Clooney - Miles