Marriage quotes

- Walter: I don't wanna go home.
- Jeff Dunham: Why not?
- Walter: I think my house is haunted.
- Jeff Dunham: Why do you think that?
- Walter: My wife is there. I walk in the front door and all I hear is: "Get out!".
Jeff Dunham - Walter
Jeff Dunham - Himself

“- Lucy Warriner: Don't you see that there can't be any doubt in marriage? The whole thing's built on faith. If you've lost that, well, you've lost everything.
- Jerry Warriner: Then I guess we're washed up because we've lost faith in each other.”
Irene Dunne - Lucy Warriner
Cary Grant - Jerry Warriner

“Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared! Young man, learn your vows!”

Sir Christopher Lee - Pastor Galswells

“- Harriet: I'm not married either. I suppose, because nobody ever asked me.
- Gwen Moss: Well, that's the other reason.”
Alice Drummond - Harriet
Jeanne Marie Tripplehorn - Gwen Moss

“I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman. I didn't buy you a gift. But this is on loan until you two find your song.”

Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter

“No kiss, Nick. I'm a married woman with a Governor inside.”
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks

“- Michael Boll: I'm afraid of getting married.
- Alex: That's easy, don't.
- Michael Boll: Yeah, well, I'm engaged.
- Alex: Why?
- Michael Boll: I didn't wanna lose her. I'm terrified of getting married.
- Alex: Then drink to it. Make it happen.
- Michael Boll: Make it happen.”
James Spader - Michael Boll
Rob Lowe - Alex

“- Holly Golightly: I'll tell you one thing, Fred, darling... I'd marry you for your money in a minute. Would you marry me for my money?
- Paul Varjak: In a minute.
- Holly Golightly: I guess it's pretty lucky neither of us is rich, huh?
- Paul Varjak: Yeah.”
Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly
George Peppard - Paul Varjak

“The President wants to pass an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Anybody who's been married knows it's always the same sex!”
Christopher Walken - Jack Menken

“- Zuba: Love transcends all boundaries. We are here to celebrate such a love. Do you two take each other for better or worse?
- Skipper: For better, please.”
Bernie Mac - Zuba
Tom McGrath - Skipper

- Leo (segment "The Man from Hollywood"): Fuckin' shit, man! Man, what the fuck is wrong with this fuckin' bitch, man? I'm gonna take the fuckin' car, I'm gonna drive up to fuckin' Mulholland, I am gonna fuckin' drag her fuckin' ass and throw it down Benedict fuckin' Canyon, man!
- Norman (segment "The Man from Hollywood"): You still married,... (continue)(continue reading)
Bruce Willis - Leo (segment "The Man from Hollywood")
Paul Calderon - Norman (segment "The Man from Hollywood")

“- Paul Curtis: You know how old mirrors are. I never made a move yet without something getting broken.
- Ellie Curtis: Hey, that's seven years' bad luck!
- Paul Curtis: Nonsense. I broke a mirror the day I met your mother.
- Helen Curtis: I'm not sure that makes your point, darling.”
David McCallum - Paul Curtis
Kyle Richards - Ellie Curtis

“Make him feel important. If you do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage... like two out of every ten couples.”
Mildred Natwick - Ethel Banks

“I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.”
Candice Bergen

“- Carolyn Burnham: Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!
- Lester Burnham: On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't fuck other women, I don't mistreat you, I've never hit you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear just how unnecessary you consider me to be! But...” (continue)(continue reading)
Annette Bening - Carolyn Burnham
Kevin Spacey - Lester Burnham

“They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They're in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they're tired of space, but they just can't commit. Or they want to commit,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Mary Kay Place - Meg

- Timon: I know what you're thinking: "We're too different", "It'll never work", "What will the children look like?".
- Shenzi: That violates so many laws of nature.
- Timon: Listen to me! The problems of a couple of wacky kids like us don't amount to hill of termites in this nutty circle-of-life thing. And so I ask you: if not now, when? If not... (continue)(continue reading)

Nathan Lane - Timon
Whoopi Goldberg - Shenzi

“I think Gwen was mostly upset that I'd gotten married before her, seeing as how I was so much younger.”

Evan Rachel Wood - Harriet Frankovitz

“I want what any princess wants; to live happily ever after with the ogre I married.”
Cameron Diaz - Princess Fiona

“Divorce is an abomination. Marriage is for life.”
Rhoda Griffis - Five and Dime Manager

“I guess I look at marriage sort of the same way I look at Miami, you know, it's hot and it's stormy, and it's, you know, occasionally a little dangerous... but, you know, if it's really so awful, why is there still so much traffic?”
Sarah Jessica Parker - Gwyn

“- Francis: Jane, I love you - when will you marry me?
- Jane Olsen: We who are of noble blood may not follow the wishes of our hearts.”
Friedrich Feher - Francis
Lil Dagover - Jane Olsen

“You're too late. Yeah, a couple weeks ago at school I already asked Bec to marry me.”

Pauly Shore - Crawl

“- Winton: Will you marry me?
- Florence: How much money have you got?
- Winton: Heaven knows, a lot.
- Florence: Well that being the case, I'll take it up with the board of directors.”
Gavin Gordon - Winton
Glenda Farrell - Florence

“Ladies and gentlemen, and invited transgendered species. In my study of Terran and Betazoid conjugal rites, I have discovered it is traditional to present the happy couple with a gift.”

Brent Spiner - Data