Marriage quotes

“The last time I saw the Lord was in church of my wedding and look how that turned out.”
Liam Neeson - Jerome Lovell

“Why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.”

Vince Vaughn - Beanie

“- John McClane: I left Holly hanging on hold.
- Zeus Carver: Ah, call her back.
- John McClane: Uhh, she's gonna be pissed.
- Zeus Carver: She'll get over it.
- John McClane: I don't know, Zeus. Like I said, she's a very stubborn woman.
- Zeus Carver: She'd have to be to stay married to you.”
Bruce Willis - John McClane
Samuel L. Jackson - Zeus Carver

“- Fairchild: Marry me. Marry me for my money. People do it every day.
- Joanna: I'm not amused, Thomas, and I have a great sense of humor.
- Fairchild: Then marry me for love.”
John Wood - Fairchild
Elizabeth Franz - Joanna

“- The Princess Centimillia: I'd marry Captain McGloo tomorrow, even with that name.
- J. D. Hackensacker III: And divorce him the next month.
- The Princess Centimillia: Nothing is permanent in this world.”
Mary Astor - The Princess Centimillia
Rudy Vallee - J.D. Hackensacker III

“I wanna get married once. Just for my mom.”
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Pauline

“- Eleanor Miller: Excuse me, sir, but you wouldn't want to marry Brittany. She's... Well, she's very difficult.
- Jeanette Miller: And she's not very tidy.
- Eleanor Miller: And her cooking is atrocious!
- Jeanette Miller: And she spends money like a drunken sailor!”

Janice Karman - Eleanor Miller
Janice Karman - Jeanette Miller

“I'm a snow beast!”

Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos

“- Joshua: Are you married, Mr. Kimble?
- Kimble: No, I'm not.
[Joshua sticks his head into the hallway]
- Joshua: [shouts] He's not married, Mom!”
Peter Rakow - Joshua
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Kimble

“- Lisabeth Hepburn-Saravian: Would you believe that I was a virgin when I got married?
- Clare Lipkin: Well, so was I, according to my publicist.”
Mary Woronov - Lisabeth Hepburn-Saravian
Jacqueline Bisset - Clare Lipkin

“- Carolyn Burnham: Lester, I refuse to live like this! This is not a marriage!
- Lester Burnham: This hasn't been a marriage for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well, guess what, I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he feels horny, 'cause you're obviously not gonna help me out in that department!”
Annette Bening - Carolyn Burnham
Kevin Spacey - Lester Burnham

“What are ya thinkin' about? Ya keep lookin'. Where the fuck you going? You're dead! You're married! You're a married man, it's all over. Leave the young girls for me.”

Joe Pesci - Joey

“Old habits die hard, I guess... if you don't kick 'em, they kick you. Ain't marriage grand?”
Mel Gibson - Porter

“Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, they don't bring him home; they marry the good guy.”
Famke Janssen - Jean Grey

“None of your quibbling. None of your questioning. None of your doubts. This is positive, you see. This is affirmative, you see. This is final, you see. You're going to marry me, you see!”

Robert Taylor - Roy Cronin

“Even if a husband lives 200 hundred fucking years, he'll never discover his wife's true nature.”
Marlon Brando - Paul

“I was still married to my first wife when I married my second wife,so I never really was married to my second wife. And since I divorced my first wife a couple of years ago, I'm as free as a bird in a tree!”
Dennis Quaid - Jerry Lee Lewis

“- Gaston: Say you'll marry me!
- Belle: I'm very sorry, Gaston but I just don't deserve you!”
Richard White - Gaston
Paige O'Hara - Belle

“- Greg Hutchins: You know what it is? It's the wedding. I mean that's what's wrong with this.
- Sony: I want a wedding, just because you've already gone through with this, doesn't mean that I have...
- Greg Hutchins: It's a barbaric ritual! The sacrificial virgin! It's heathen!”
James Cole - Greg Hutchins
Margaret Trigg - Sony

“I'd marry a chimpanzee if he had money!”
Rose Byrne - Rose Mortmain

“- Charlotte York: I always knew she'd marry Big.
- Samantha Jones: You thought that after the second break up?
- Charlotte York: Yep.
- Miranda Hobbes: After the fifteenth?
- Carrie Bradshaw: Ha ha, we broke up a lot.”
Kristin Davis - Charlotte York
Kim Cattrall - Samantha Jones
Cynthia Nixon - Miranda Hobbes
Sarah Jessica Parker - Carrie Bradshaw

“I've invested five good years in my marriage to Rex and I've nailed his ass fair and square. Now I'm going to have it stuffed, mounted, and have my lady friends come over and throw darts at it.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Marylin

“You're going to have plenty of reasons to hate me. I'm going to show you cards and spades and lying for the next 50 years.”

Fredric March - Wally Cook

“I think seriously that most people want a composite of the opposite sex. I'm never going to get Rachel Welch with the personality of Lucille Ball. I mean my biggest fear is that I'm gonna marry the woman that I want to hang out with and talk to in my golden years and then die in a fiery car crash when I'm forty and I miss all those years of...” (continue)(continue reading)
Donal Logue - Dex

“- Emma Woodhouse: I hope John advises him against it. After all we know nothing about her parents. They could be pirates!
- Mrs Weston: My dear, I like Harriet very much as, I might remind you, do you.”

Gwyneth Paltrow - Emma Woodhouse
Greta Scacchi - Mrs Weston