Marriage quotes

“From the first moment I laid eyes on you I have always, always loved... your money. On the other hand, just the sight of you has made me want to puke.”

Famke Janssen - Evelyn

“- Cleopatra: If I implored you to marry me, you wouldn't?
- Julius Caesar: I'd have to ask my wife in Rome.
- Cleopatra: Oh, as if you care about that. Divorce her. Together we could conquer the world!”
Claudette Colbert - Cleopatra
Warren William - Julius Caesar

“- Roy O'Bannon: Ooooh... who's the pretty lady?
- Chon Wang: That's my wife!
- Roy O'Bannon: How long you been in this country?
- Chon Wang: Four days.
- Roy O'Bannon: Nice work.”
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

- Doreen: I never thought I'd be contemplating marriage to a man who owned an automatic assault rifle.
- Donald: It's not automatic, hon. It's semiautomatic. Automatic weapons are illegal. And why are you using the word "contemplating"?
- Doreen: I just mean, Donald, you seem so different.
- Donald: Hey, Frizzer, I'm no different, I'm just armed.
Annie McEnroe - Doreen
Robin Williams - Donald Quinelle

“- Emma Woodhouse: The most incomprehensible thing in the world to a man is a woman who rejects his offer of marriage.
- Mr Knightley: I do not comprehend it because it is madness.”

Gwyneth Paltrow - Emma Woodhouse
Jeremy Northam - Mr Knightley

“- Lytton Strachey: I tend to be impulsive in these matters like the time I asked Virginia Woolf to marry me.
- Dora Carrington: She turned you down?
- Lytton Strachey: No, she accepted. It was ghastly.”
Jonathan Pryce - Lytton Strachey
Emma Thompson - Dora Carrington

“Even super heroes can have wedding-day jitters.”
Jessica Alba - Alicia Masters

“- David Grant: How did you and mom end up getting married?
- Woody Grant: She wanted to.
- David Grant: And you didn't?
- Woody Grant: I figured, what the hell.
- David Grant: Were you ever sorry you married her?
- Woody Grant: All the time.”
Will Forte - David Grant
Bruce Dern - Woody Grant

“- Helen Gandy: Can you keep a secret?
- J. Edgar Hoover: Yes. Of course. You have my word.
- Helen Gandy: I'm not interested in getting married. My work comes first.”

Naomi Watts - Helen Gandy
Leonardo DiCaprio - J. Edgar Hoover

“- Naomi Lapaglia: Aren't you married?
- Jordan Belfort: What? Married people can't have friends?
- Naomi Lapaglia: We're gonna be friends?
- Jordan Belfort: Yeah. Don't you wanna be my friend?
Naomi Lapaglia: We're not gonna be friends.”
Margot Robbie - Naomi Lapaglia
Leonardo DiCaprio - Jordan Belfort

“In today's cynical world, it's so hard to take that great leap of faith aboard the ship of love and caring.”

Colin Linden - Father Scott

“If you want to go to intensive couples counselling all by yourself, I'll see you when you get back.”

Tommy Lee Jones - Arnold

“My love, tonight we will celebrate this ecstatic joining of our spirits with the union of our aching bodies.”

Gene Hackman - William B. Tensy

“- John Smith: See, we've been married for five years.
- Jane Smith: Six.
- John Smith: Five, six years.”

Brad Pitt - John Smith
Angelina Jolie - Jane Smith

“- Abdul Khan: I'm gettin' married.
- Mark: Who to?
- Abdul Khan: Dunno. My dad hasn't bothered introducing us yet.”
Raji James - Abdul Khan
Gary Lewis - Mark

- Celeste Martin: We don't know what "marry" is.
- Council Chief: One moment... Ah, yes. The Monchine Forty says marriage is this: he goes off to fight the Turks, and you put on a lock.
- Second in Command: No, no, no.
- Council Chief: Oh, yes, yes. Wrong century. Eh... marriage is this: you cook and clean and bring him martinies.
- Second in... (continue)(continue reading)
Kim Basinger - Celeste Martin
Tony Jay - Council Chief
Peter Bromilow - Second in Command

“Dear, we agreed to put on a wedding, not go into bankruptcy... Caviar? Who are we inviting, the czar? Get some cheese and crackers... some of those little cocktail weenies...”

J. K. Simmons - J. Jonah Jameson

“- Katherine Ann Watson: What law school are you going to go to?
- Joan Brandwyn: I hadn't really thought about that. After I graduate, I plan on getting married.
- Katherine Ann Watson: And then?
- Joan Brandwyn: And then... I'll be married.”
Julia Roberts - Katherine Ann Watson
Julia Stiles - Joan Brandwyn

“- Charlotte: 25 years. It's impressive.
- Bob Harris: You sleep one-third of your life, that knocks out eight years of marriage right there. So you're down to 16 in change. You know you're just a teenager, at marriage, you can drive it but there's still the occasional accident.”
Scarlett Johansson - Charlotte
Bill Murray - Bob Harris

“- Sybylla Melvyn: Why does it always have to come down to marriage?
- Aunt Gussie: Don't be foolish child. It's natural to want someone as part of your life.
- Sybylla Melvyn: I don't want to be part of anyone.
- Aunt Gussie: Do you imagine you're the only female on earth to have such notions?”
Judy Davis - Sybylla Melvyn
Patricia Kennedy - Aunt Gussie

“- Jane Mason: Don't you think marriage is a career in itself?
- Mrs. Harriet Mason: Oh, in deed, emphatically! That's why one mustn't rush into it pell-mell.”
Carole Lombard - Jane Mason
Lucile Watson - Mrs. Harriet Mason

“We're just living in a pretense of a marriage responsibility, and all these ideas of how people are supposed to live.”
Ethan Hawke - Jesse

“- Candi: If they get married, I'll do the shower.
- Jade: I'll do the pictures.
- Roxana: I do groomsmen.”
Sarah Murdoch - Candi
Shalom Harlow - Jade
Ivana Miličević - Roxana

“- Sybil Martin: You married, Jesse?
- Jesse Stone: Sort of.
- Sybil Martin: Sort of?
- Jesse Stone: Every place but in my mind.”
Sean Young - Sybil Martin
Tom Selleck - Jesse Stone

“- Bill: Martha Sterns.
- Fred Peele, man on ferry: No, I don't know her.
- Bill: Used to be Martha Byers.
- Fred Peele, man on ferry: No, I'm not familiar.
- Bill: And before that, she was Martha Crimm.
- Fred Peele, man on ferry: And before that, Martha Peele?
- Bill: You know her?
- Fred Peele, man on ferry: I'm Fred Peele.
- Bill: Right, her...” (continue)(continue reading)
Sam Chew Jr. - Bill
Bill Jelliffe - Man on Ferry