Money quotes

“- Spc. Sgt. Hawkins: In those 18 months, how many times have you and your men taken a hill, village, or piece of ground only to return it back to the enemy days later?
- Sgt. Holt: So?
- Spc. Sgt. Hawkins: Don't you get it? They're not gonna let us win. Because if we win, the war stops and if the war stops, the money stops.”
John Cianetti - Spc. Sgt. Hawkins
Fritz Matthews - Sgt. Holt

“- Billy Ray Valentine: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
- Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.”

Eddie Murphy - Billy Ray Valentine
Ralph Bellamy - Randolph Duke

“- Stuart Little: Snowbell, I need more change.
- Snowbell: What do I look like, a fanny pack?”

Michael J. Fox - Stuart Little
Nathan Lane - Snowbell

“- Laurie: If this thing is actually killing people, then why is the mayor trying to keep it quiet?
- Mortimer Lutz: Potatoes.
- Laurie: Potatoes?
- Mortimer Lutz: Around here that means big money.”
Marianne Gordon - Laurie
Bill Osco - Mortimer Lutz

“- Roland Yates: Don't worry, son, there'll be extra money for this mission.
- Jake Hayes: Hey, man, first of all, I'm not your son. Second of all, did it ever occur to you that I might want to do something 'cause it's the right thing?”
John Slattery - Roland Yates
Chris Rock - Jake Hayes

“The French have said au revoir to the franc, the Germans have said auf wiedersehen to the mark, and the Portuguese have said... whatever to their thing.”

Alex Etel - Damian

“You know when a sweet mouth girl like you has a fancy case like this a man gets to thinking; where's a wallet? I'm gonna need that wallet, Alice. Where's that big fat wallet? Give it to me. Give me your fucking wallet you little bitch.”
John C. McGinley - Davis "Rig" Lanlow

“Count my money or party with bitches. Hundred and fitties or big ass titties. Count the green or get in between those titties.”
Jacob Vargas - Joker

“I just want you to stand there and admire me for a while. I just got an idea that's gonna make us a fortune. I don't know how I do it.”
Bob Hope - Ace Lannigan

“- Lyle Furgeson: Yes. Four-million dollars. And, um, how would you like that, Mrs. Miller?
- Oda Mae Brown: Tens and twenties?
- Sam Wheat: No, a cashier's check!
- Oda Mae Brown: Actually... I think better a cashier's check.
- Lyle Furgeson: Right...”
Bruce Jarchow - Lyle Furgeson
Whoopi Goldberg - Oda Mae Brown
Patrick Swayze - Sam Wheat

“- Cole Younger: You still chargin' $15?
- Belle Starr: I sure am.
- Cole Younger: Lot of money.
- Belle Starr: Well, at the rate you're losin' you won't have to worry about it. Course you could always hold up another bank; scare some more innocent people half to death.”
David Carradine - Cole Younger
Pamela Reed - Belle Shirley Starr

“I got sixty million bucks riding on that ship, kiddo, and you leave her like a Friday-night hooker.”
John Huston - Pa Kegan

“Never mind the romantic part of it. That takes care of itself. And I'm speaking from experience. They'll tell you money isn't everything. Well, maybe it isn't, but boy how it helps!”

Virginia Mayo - Marie Derry

“These are thousand dollar bills! Man, with what I'm holding in my hand, I could put all my kids through college.”
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh

“Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for an explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag, reached out for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock. He's then...” (continue)(continue reading)

Jason Flemyng - Tom

“- Miracle Max: It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
- Inigo Montoya: What's that?
- Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.”
Billy Crystal - Miracle Max
Mandy Patinkin - Inigo Montoya

“Alvin, you're an ex-convit, man. You just got out the penitentiary. You got 26 dollars in your pocket, 25 of it is mine!”
Mike Epps - Stevie Sanders

“It's a beautiful thing, alimony. You lose a husband, you get a car. Think it'll help me pick up dudes?”

Diana Scarwid - Jody

You now have a Swiss bank account if anybody asks. Crédit Nationale Du Génève code name "Paddy". Lavish awkward gesture. All of fifteen Swiss Francs in it, but if you ever want to impress anybody, they can find out you have a Swiss account. But, Swiss law prohibits the bank from revealing the balance. Thus are all men made equal.
Steve Martin - Jimmy Dell

“There's a quarter of a million dollars in heroin in the diaper pail and the new baby wipes are in the hall cabinet.”
Tom Selleck - Peter Mitchell

“- Shelly Stewart: I bought the car for you! It was only 300 grand! It was a gift!
- Morton Cushman: With my money you bought it! I bought me the gift!
- Shelly Stewart: Jesus, Morty, all I want is a lifestyle, y'know - with some ambiance and some classic eternal good taste!”

Sarah Jessica Parker - Shelly Stewart
Dan Hedaya - Morton Cushman

“- Samantha Cole: I'm contesting custody.
- Fletcher Reede: What?
- Samantha Cole: If I get sole custody of the kids, that's another 10 grand in child support payments.
- Fletcher Reede: You just won 11 million dollars!”
Jennifer Tilly - Samantha Cole
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“- Carl Quigley: What I expect is that if I give someone a million dollars and I come back the next day, I find the million dollars. That's what I expect!
- Biderman: Carl, I'm not a magician, okay?
- Carl Quigley: So you can make it disappear but you can't make it reappear, is that it?”
Miguel Ferrer - Quigley
Michael Lerner - Biderman

“I like rich people. I like the way they live. I like the way I live when I'm with them.”
Richard Haydn - Max Detweiler

“Money's only something you need in case you don't die tomorrow.”
Martin Sheen - Carl Fox