Nudity quotes

“This sort of thing doesn't usually happen to me.”

Alfred Molina - Dr. Stephen Arden

“- Homer Simpson: [blundering into a movie's casting session] Hello, can I have change for a dollar? Also, can I have a dollar?
- Comic Book Guy: You. Are. Acceptable!
- Homer Simpson: Great, would you like to see me naked?
- Hollywood Casting Lady: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie.
- Homer Simpson: What movie?”
Dan Castellaneta - Homer Simpson
Hank Azaria - Comic Book Guy

“- Maxwell Smart: This nude bomb might solve a lot of problems.
- Chief: Such as?
- Maxwell Smart: Well for one thing, flashers.”

Don Adams - Maxwell Smart
Dana Elcar - Chief

“I hope you think I am as beautiful with my clothes off as I think you are.”
Ana Obregón - Catalina

“If you work without a shirt on and so does your husband, you might be a redneck.”
Jeff Foxworthy - Jeff Foxworthy

“- Daniel: Who are you?
- Laura: Daniel McTeague?
- Daniel: No shit! That's my name too.
- Laura: No, I'm a private investigator.
- Daniel: You're a detective? Great, help me find my pants.”

Michael J. Fox - Daniel
Khandi Alexander - Laura

“- Skip Donahue: I know that you're not wearing anything underneath that coat.
- Susan: What?
- Skip Donahue: I also know that you're a shoplifter, part-time.
- Susan: What are you? Some kind of a looney tune?
- Skip Donahue: No. I'm the store detective, here, part-time.”
Gene Wilder - Skip Donahue
Lee Purcell - Susan

“- Laura Kensington: I have a strawberry birthmark on my thigh. Want to see it?
- C.W. Briggs: Sure, when can I take the full tour?”
Charlize Theron - Laura Kensington
Woody Allen - CW Briggs

- Anna Foster: I want to swim naked in the Danube!
- Ben Calder: Actually, it's the Vltava.
- Anna Foster: Who wants to swim naked in the Vltava? Nobody says that.
- Ben Calder: Because in English, Vltava means “unhealthy bacteria level”.

Mandy Moore - Anna Foster
Matthew Goode - Ben Calder

“- CW Briggs: There's a deck of cards with naked women on it.
- Laura Kensington: Let me guess, you use it to play solitaire.
- CW Briggs: I used to date the six of spades.”
Woody Allen - CW Briggs
Charlize Theron - Laura Kensington

- Ellen Andrews Gordon: Rodin never said what he was thinking.
- Mickey Gordon: You see, what I think he was thinking was, "Goddam Rodin. Three drinks and I'm nude".
Debra Winger - Ellen Andrews Gordon
Billy Crystal - Mickey Gordon

“I always keep a picture of you in my cab.
[pulls down picture of a naked woman]
Wrong cab!”

Charlie Barnett - Tyrone

“- Princess Ann: Why can't I sleep in pajamas?
- Countess Vereberg: Pajamas?
- Princess Ann: Just the top part. Did you know that there are people who sleep with absolutely nothing on at all?
- Countess Vereberg: I rejoice to say I do not.”
Audrey Hepburn - Princess Ann
Margaret Rawlings - Countess Vereberg

“- Sam Marlow: You know what'd end all wars? Make everybody fight naked. Then nobody'd know who to kill, and that would be the end of it.
- Elsa: Sam...
- Sam Marlow: No, I mean it. And let the women get in there naked, too. That'd cinch it. No more war... just peace on Earth and a lot of whoopee.”
Robert Sacchi - Sam Marlow
Olivia Hussey - Elsa

“Look what you've done to this place. It's all Diane Fosse. When I lived here, it was Bob Fosse. Right there, I had a big painting of a naked chick holding a little plant; very tasteful, no bush... not a picture of your fucking mother!”

Robin Williams - Rainbow Randolph

“- Gia Carangi: Where are you going?
- Linda: You don't have any clothes on.
- Gia Carangi: Don't change the subject.”
Angelina Jolie - Gia Carangi
Elizabeth Mitchell - Linda

“- Vic: And that is where you saw her mammal.
- Earl Keese: Her mammal?
- Vic: Her honkers, Earl.
- Earl Keese: She dropped the towel.
- Vic: Did she drop it, or did you psychically will it to fall?”

Dan Aykroyd - Vic
John Belushi - Earl Keese

“- Todd: Ok, time to get wet! Are you ready?
- Alan: Todd, I just read the invoice from that surgical supply house.
- Todd: So?
- Alan: The thread, the surgical thread we used to sew the bikinis...
- Todd: What about it?
- Alan: It's for dissolving stitches, Todd!
- Todd: I know!”

Bruce Greenwood - Todd
Michael David Wright - Alan

“- Johnnie Aysgarth: Don't do that.
- Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: Why not?
- Johnnie Aysgarth: Because your ucipital mapilary is quite beautiful.”

Cary Grant - Johnnie Aysgarth
Joan Fontaine - Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth

“Stripping naked is the decisive action, when man or woman becomes beast by revealing their furry parts.”
Guinevere Turner - Tanya Cheex

“- Jade: My first wife used to mow the lawn stark naked.
- Rowdy Abilene: What did your neighbors say?
- Jade: They said I married her for her money.”
Harold Diamond - Jade
Ronn Moss - Rowdy Abilene

“- Frank: You never went skinny-dipping when you were a kid?
- Walter: Yes, but I wore a bathing suit.”

Richard Harris - Frank
Robert Duvall - Walter

“- Streak: You got any naked pictures of your sister?
- Gilbert Noble: Of course not.
- Streak: Wanna buy some?”
Brent Hinkley - Streak
Chris Klein - Gilbert Noble

“- Maureen: Why is she naked? What has that got to do with the plot; her being butt ass naked?
- Phil: I don't know about the plot but I'm gettin a stiffy.”
Jada Pinkett Smith - Maureen
Omar Epps - Phil

“- Bratty Kid: If I'm lucky, I may get a view of Venus' two moons.
- Adam: Hey, Einstein - isn't Venus over there?”

J. Brennan Smith - Bratty Kid
David Naughton - Adam - Yellow Team Leader