Pregnancy quotes

“- Bridget Jones: What about the first scan? Would that show when conception took place?
- Dr. Rawlings: No. Ring this number and fix a date. And do bring along the father if you can work out which one he is.”
Renee Zellweger - Bridget Jones
Emma Thompson - Dr Rawlings

“- Benjamin Franklin Gates: I'm in a little trouble.
- Patrick Gates: Is she pregnant?
- Benjamin Franklin Gates: If she is would you leave the mother of your grandchild standing out in the cold?
- Patrick Gates: Come in.”

Nicolas Cage - Benjamin Franklin Gates
Jon Voight - Patrick Gates

“- Brian Madison: Billy, could you step in here a moment? I have big news.
- Billy Madison: Eric is pregnant?”
Darren McGavin - Brian Madison
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Kenny: Don't blame me; I didn't want any of this!
- Chenille: What? 'Cause I did? I climbed on top of myself and got myself pregnant?”

Garland Whitt - Kenny
Kerry Washington - Chenille

“Mom, if I kiss your belly hard enough, will the baby feel it?”
Evan Brinkman - Allister

“- Megan: I'm pretty sure Scott thinks the nanny job is gonna make me less restless. Make me wanna get pregnant.
- Dr. Kamal Abdic: And that's not the case?
- Megan: When I finish work every night, I run home and I get in the shower, and I wash the smell of that baby off of me as fast as I can.”
Haley Bennett - Megan
Edgar Ramírez - Dr. Kamal Abdic

“- Nick Wilde: Hey, Flash, wanna hear a joke?
- Judy Hopps: No!
- Flash: Sure.
- Nick Wilde: Ok. What do you call a three-humped camel?
- Flash: I don't... know. What... do... you... call... a... three-humped... camel?
- Nick Wilde: Pregnant!”
Jason Bateman - Nick Wilde
Ginnifer Goodwin - Judy Hopps
Raymond S. Persi - Flash

“- Rita's Father: Married six years and you're not pregnant yet? How old are you now, Susan?
- Rita: I'm seventy-four, Dad.
- Rita's Father: You are not! You're twenty-seven. What's wrong with you? Here's your sister, married six minutes, and she's already four months pregnant!”
Godfrey Quigley - Rita's Father
Julie Walters - Rita

“Why should I be upset! You lie to me. You... steal from me. You engage in a utterly selfish, immoral, arrogant stunt without any regard for my feelings whatsoever. What am I supposed to be, grateful? This is just so male!”

Emma Thompson - Dr. Diana Reddin

“- James: You don't look so hot.
- Mollie: Why don't you try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how hot you look?
- James: Ouch! Guess I'd better call my mother more often!”
John Travolta - James
Kirstie Alley - Mollie

“- Anna: Oh, Henry, this might interest you. The mother whale in the Ukraine had triplets.
- Henry Hackett: She told me she was on the pill!”
Bobo Lewis - Anna
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

“- Juno MacGuff: I'm telling you I'm pregnant and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
- Leah: Is this for real? Like, for real for real?
- Juno MacGuff: Unfortunately, yes.
- Leah: Oh my god. Oh shit! Phuket, Thailand!
- Juno MacGuff: There we go. That was kind of the emotion that I was searching for on the first take.”
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff
Olivia Thirlby - Leah

“The Earth woman's reproductive organs are located here. The access port is here. Insertion in any other access port will not result in pregnancy. To get the woman in a receptive mood for insertion, compliment her on these areas. [hair, eyes, breasts, buttocks, legs] She will also enjoy being told that she smells nice, and that her footwear is...” (continue)(continue reading)

“Your girlfriend’s pregnant. Don’t you worry. You’ll be going home a rich man.”
Jude Law - Robinson

“- Girl Goosed in class: I'm a little worried... I've missed my last two periods.
- Miss McGee: That's all right, dear, you can make them up after school.
[realizes after the girl left what kind of 'periods' she meant, stares in horror]”
Janet Jones - Girl Goosed in class
Eve Arden - Miss McGee

“- Brian Taylor: Janet's pregnant.
- Mike Zavala: What? Get out of here, bro. Are you serious? Already? She's not even Mexican.
- Brian Taylor: Yeah, she's going for the ultrasound tomorrow but three of those little piss stick things...
- Mike Zavala: EPT's, yeah.
- Brian Taylor: Positive, positive, positive.
- Mike Zavala: Whoa, dude. Congrats,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jake Gyllenhaal - Brian Taylor
Michael Peña - Mike Zavala

“I just wanna get you pregnant, you know? My daughter gonna come out like 11 pounds , twenty ounces, running, around the house with the doo doo pampers on!”
Tracy Morgan - Paul

“- Ann: I'm pregnant
- Dan: What? I'm sorry, I thought you just said that you were pregnant.
- Ann: Yeah.
- Dan: You can't be pregnant.
- Ann: Yeah I can, I am
- Dan: Yeah, how could that happen?
- Ann: Well I think that you were there too.”
Marg Helgenberger - Ann
Dennis Quaid - Dan

“- Kate: I'm paying her to have my baby.
- Oscar: She's havin' a baby, you're payin' the bills. That's a baby mama. Ask any black man in Philadelphia.”
Tina Fey - Kate
Romany Malco - Oscar

“If the baby dies, just don't wake me up.”
Samantha Morton - Sarah

“- Darcy Elliot Bobrucz: I tried on my dress, for the prom, I look like a Thanksgiving Day float. I'm also itchy everywhere, my ankles are fat, there's something hanging out of my butt, the article's not doing well and now I have to get a haircut.
- Stan Bobrucz: There's something hanging out of your what?
- Darcy Elliot Bobrucz: Well, when...” (continue)(continue reading)
Molly Ringwald - Darcy Elliot Bobrucz
Randall Batinkoff - Stan Bobrucz

“- Alex Whitman: How've you been?
- Isabel Fuentes: Pregnant.”

Matthew Perry - Alex Whitman
Salma Hayek - Isabel Fuentes Whitman

“It feels like I'm shitting a knife!”

Amy Poehler - Angie

“- Dennis: Look, even if you did get pregnant, I'd marry you.
- Odette: Do you believe in centralized government or states' rights?
- Dennis: What?
- Odette: I just want to know the kind of guy I'm marrying.
- Dennis: I'm starting to get the distinct impression you don't want to do this anymore.”

Matthew Lawrence - Dennis
Gaby Hoffmann - Odette

“Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, ok, promise?”
Dwayne Hill - Coach Carr