Pregnancy quotes

“- Jill Tuck: Do you know anything about the Chinese Zodiac?
- Agent Peter Strahm: No, Jill. No!
- Jill Tuck: I didn't just get pregnant. It was carefully planned.”
Betsy Russell - Jill Tuck
Scott Patterson - Agent Peter Strahm

“- Frank Dewey: Verena, why are you so late? You've missed an entire period.
- Verena Von Stefan: You mean I'm pregnant?”

Robert Bockstael - Frank Dewey
Kirsten Dunst - Verena von Stefan

“- Dave: You mean we might be a father?
- Dad: No. I might be a father. And your mom might be a mother. And you might be a brother. See, that way I keep it all in the family.
- Moocher: Wow! I didn't think people your age still...
- Dad: The next word may be your last, kid!”
Dennis Christopher - Dave
Paul Dooley - Dad
Jackie Earle Haley - Moocher

“- Mollie: I think you should try some of that Nobel Prize winner sperm.
- Rona: Get outta here. Nobel Prize winners ejaculating in jars?
- Mollie: Well, give it a shot. Don't you want a smart baby?
- Rona: That's all I need. A baby telling me what an idiot I am. Like I don't get enough of that at work?”
Kirstie Alley - Mollie
Twink Caplan - Rona

“Nothing comes between a pregnant lady and a meal.”
Rene Russo - Lorna Cole

“Let me shake hands with the man who would be Mom.”

Frank Langella - Noah Banes

“I know this is wrong, but do you ever wonder if she just made the whole thing up? I mean, it's a pretty good one. It's not like anyone can ever use virgin birth as an excuse again. I don't really think she made it up, but I can understand why a girl would.”

Jena Malone - Mary

“Our house is probably too big, which is why my mum kept having babies so we can keep it filled up.”
Robert Norman - Fraser

“- GH-7 Medical Droid: Medically, she is completely healthy. For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: She's dying?
- GH-7 Medical Droid: We don't know why. She has lost the will to live. We need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies.”

David Acord - GH-7 Medical Droid
Ewan McGregor - Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi

“- Alice Marshall: I'm 12-years-old, dad. In caveman days I'd be having children of my own.
- President James Marshall: That's what we call progress, young lady.”
Liesel Matthews - Alice Marshall
Harrison Ford - President James Marshall

“- Monica: We're getting a baby.
- Chandler: We're growing up.
- Monica: We sure are.
- Chandler: So who's going to tell them?
- Monica: Not it.
- Chandler: Not it. Damn it!”
Courteney Cox - Monica Geller
Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing

“- George Peters: When I touched you just now, I started to get excited. What kind of a pervert am I? Staring at a 200 pound pregnant woman, and I'm getting hot!
- Doris: Well, I'll tell you something. That is about the nicest thing that anybody's said to me in months.”
Alan Alda - George Peters
Ellen Burstyn - Doris

“No wonder you're a nervous wreck. You're not going crazy. You're just becoming a mother.”

Todd Allen - Jim Morar

“I remember before I was born, wounded up like a fur ball in the highly overrated fetal position, luckily I'm not claustrophobic, but on rainy days I still felt a tightness in my left shoulder. So now that my stepmother's pregnant, I understand what the baby's going through, and I'm not jealous at all, really, not at all.”
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss

While I was in the pizza parlor, this creepy old man came up to me and said "Sweetie, you don't have to kiss to make babies". So, I waited until it was about time to leave with the pizza, so I walked right up to him and said out loud "I know, but you still gotta fuck!".
Baybi Day - Pamela

“Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body, sir! Any use of the sexual act other than procreation is a waste of vital energy! Wasted seeds are wasted lives!”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

“You just pissed off a severely hormonal pregnant woman!”
Piper Perabo - Nora Baker-McNulty

“- Dr. Diana Reddin: What do you mean, what am I doing here? It's my baby, not yours!
- Dr. Larry Arbogast: Hey. I put it in there.
- Dr. Diana Reddin: It's my egg!
- Dr. Larry Arbogast: Yeah, just 'cause your egg's in some guy doesn't make you the mother!”
Emma Thompson - Dr. Diana Reddin
Danny DeVito - Dr. Larry Arbogast

“Spring in Wyoming lasts all of two weeks and is marked by mud and rampant pregnancy.”
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

- 'People' Reporter: So, are you saying she was... promiscuous?
- Mrs. Fisher: "Promiscuous"? She was a teen-aged tramp; she couldn't get enough! She would do it anywhere, anytime, and with anyone! She got knocked up when she was sixteen.
- 'People' Reporter: Knocked up?
- Mrs. Fisher: Well, she couldn't take care of it! Had to give that cute... (continue)(continue reading)
Deborah Rush - People' Reporter
Sylvia Miles - Mrs. Fisher

“- Scarlett - Their Daughter: No woman would want a child of a cad like you... I wish for anybody's child but yours.
- Rhett Butler - Visitor from Charleston: Cheer up, maybe you'll have an accident.
[she tries to strike him but misses and falls down the stairs]”

Vivien Leigh - Scarlett - Their Daughter
Clark Gable - Rhett Butler - Visitor from Charleston

“- Virginia Lewis: I don't intend to have any children, thank you very much.
- Wolf: Well, it's a little bit late for that.
- Virginia Lewis: What do you mean?
- Wolf: You got a little wolf cub growing inside of you! A little furry chap, just like me, only much smaller. Believe me. I'm a wolf. I know these things.”
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Virginia Lewis
Scott Cohen - Wolf

“- Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?
- Chrissy: Truth.
- Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?
- Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!”
Thora Birch - Teeny
Rita Wilson - Chrissy

- Dr. Alex Hesse: I've noticed that the side effects of pregnancy are greatly amplified... With the dosage of Expectane that l've required. The morning sickness, the mood swings. Sleepiness, sexual appetite.
- Dr. Larry Arbogast: Sexual appetite?
- Dr. Alex Hesse: Yesterday, just scooping the middle out of a honeydew melon gave me a... a "Steifen".
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Dr. Alex Hesse
Danny DeVito - Dr. Larry Arbogast

“- Danny Ocean: How's your wife?
- Bulldog, the Bruiser: Pregnant again.
- Danny Ocean: Well, that happens.”
George Clooney - Danny Ocean
Scott L. Schwartz - Bulldog, the Bruiser