Pregnancy quotes

“- Juno MacGuff: God, why is everyone always staring at me?
- Leah: Well, you are kind of... convex.
- Juno MacGuff: Wow, someone's been actually doing her geometry homework for once!”
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff
Olivia Thirlby - Leah

“- Mary MacGregor: I am carrying a child and I do not know who is the father.
- Robert Roy MacGregor: Ach, Mary...
- Mary MacGregor: I could not kill it, husband.
- Robert Roy MacGregor: It's not the child that needs killing.”
Jessica Lange - Mary
Liam Neeson - Rob Roy

“- Richard Clark: Well, Julie I hoped you learned a valuable lesson from this.
- Julie Rubels: Oh, yes. Basically as far as vasectomies go, never use the home kit.”

Jon Lovitz - Richard Clark
Natasha Gregson Wagner - Julie Rubels

“- Lou Fimple: One more thing, lover boy...
- Deborah Anne Fimple: Oh, God.
- Lou Fimple: Get her pregnant, I'll blow your dick off.”

Fred Ward - Lou Fimple
Kelly Preston - Deborah Anne Fimple

“- Nanny: And speaking of children...
- Anita: Roger, darling, l've got the most wonderful news.”
Joan Plowright - Nanny

“- Dan: You're pregnant? Holy crap! Does it feel like a boy?
- Ann: Right now it feels like the stomach flu.”
Dennis Quaid - Dan
Marg Helgenberger - Ann

“- Stan Bobcruz: Do the pattern breathing, come on.
- Darcy Elliot Bobrucz: Screw the pattern breathing, I want a painkiller!”

Randall Batinkoff - Stan Bobrucz
Molly Ringwald - Darcy Elliot Bobrucz

“Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?”
Jason Lee - Brodie

“- Rosie Morales: I'm pregnant… Well aren't you gonna say anything?
- Bob Morales: What's there to say? It's not my first. Or my last.”
Elizabeth Peña - Rosie Morales
Esai Morales - Bob Morales

“- Gertrude Steiney: You try getting ready quickly when you look like this! I'm so fat and there's gonna be nothing but beautiful skinny girls there!
- Ollie Trinke: That's because they're all coked-out whores, honey.
- Gertrude Steiney: I wanna be a coked-out whore!”

Jennifer Lopez - Gertrude Steiney
Ben Affleck - Ollie Trinke

“- Michelle Weinberger: What are you picking on us for any way? We are not the ones who got fat.
- Christy Masters: We're pregnant, you half-wit.
- Michelle Weinberger: Oh yeah? Well, I hope your babies look like monkeys!”
Lisa Kudrow - Michele Weinberger
Julia Campbell - Christy Masters

“- James Tucci: If you ever get her pregnant, Paulie...
- Charlie Tucci: Hey!
- James Tucci: I don't know why I'm thinking this because I know it's not going to happen, but if you did, I would give you the abortion, Paulie.”
Michael Imperioli - James Tucci
David Dundara - Charlie Tucci

“- George Peters: Doris, what the hell is the matter?
- Doris: If memory serves me correctly, I just had a labor pain.
- George Peters: You can't have. It must be indigestion.
- Doris: No, there's a difference. Indigestion doesn't make you eyes bug out.”
Alan Alda - George Peters
Ellen Burstyn - Doris

“She wanted a child more than anything. They tried hard for years, but sometimes it's just not meant to be.”

Jane Alexander - Dr. Grasnik

“- Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
- Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?”
Jennifer Garner - Vanessa Loring
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff

I remember getting up one morning and going to work. Just another day like any other, except it was the first day after I knew about … pregnancy. And I felt this fear for the first time ever. I remember thinking: "how can I bring a child into a world like this? How can a person grow up with all this around them?".
Morgan Freeman - Somerset

“Oh God, make me fruitful.”
Victoria Tennant - Aunt Lydia

- Barbara: In the "sex club" we only talk about sex, we don't actually do it.
- Lenny: That's okay, I would not want to get anyone pregnant.
- Alice: Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Barbara can't get pregnant, she has not started her period yet.
- Barbara: Hey!
- Lenny: ...What?
Allie Spiro Winn - Barbara Sabatini
Ryan Merriman - Lenny Levine
Amy Braverman - Alice Moran

“- 'Goody' Nelson: How do worms copulate?
- Jackie Willow: They don't, Sergeant-Major; they use asexual reproduction.
- 'Goody' Nelson: Interesting concept! Tell me, Willow - any idea who first came up with that notion: reproducing without sex?
- Jackie Willow: Your wife, Sergeant-Major?”
James Earl Jones - Goody' Nelson
D.B. Sweeney - Jackie Willow

“- Frank: My mother died before I was born.
- V: I don't think that's possible.
- Frank: Okay she had me first and then she died right after.”
Michael Patrick Carter - Frank
Melanie Griffith - V

“- Francine Fishpaw: Lu-Lu, there's a living thing inside of you... Oh Lu-Lu, that baby is part of you!
- Lu-Lu Fishpaw: It's stealing part of me, you mean! I can feel it like cancer, getting bigger and bigger, like the Blob. One day it'll rip me open, and it'll be there in my life, ready to rob me of every bit of fun I deserve to have!”
Divine - Francine Fishpaw
Mary Garlington - Lu-Lu Fishpaw

“- Jillian Armacost: I'm scared.
- Spencer Armacost: Well, I'd think it would be strange if a first time mother wasn't scared.”
Charlize Theron - Jillian Armacost
Johnny Depp - Commander Spencer Armacost

“Fill me with your little babies!”

Emma Thompson - Maggie Chester

“Maybe it's better that we just can't get pregnant. I feel like we shouldn't pass on this gene pool.”
Catherine Keener - Brie Marschz

“- Meg: I've been taking my temperature and I know I'm ovulating right now. The ground is ready, I just need someone to plant the seed.
- Sarah: Yeah, but who's going to be the lucky farmer?”
Mary Kay Place - Meg
Glenn Close - Sarah