Sarcasm quotes

“I came with low expectations and I was disappointed.”
Maggie Smith - Muriel Donnelly

“- Jim Preston: How do I send a message to Earth?
- InfoMat: Interstellar messages are sent by laser array. This is an expensive service.
- Jim Preston: Bite me!
- InfoMat: Happy to help.”
Chris Pratt - Jim Preston
Chris Edgerly - InfoMat

“- Nathan: Caleb, what's your type?
- Caleb: Of girl?
- Nathan: No, salad dressing!”

Oscar Isaac - Nathan
Domhnall Gleeson - Caleb

“- Frank King: Are you fucking with me? Because if you are, I will fuck you.
- Dalton Trumbo: I've heard that line before. It sounded better in prison.”
John Goodman - Frank King
Bryan Cranston - Dalton Trumbo

“- Dr. Cyril Wecht: [rhetorically] Did you think the NFL would thank you?
- Dr. Bennet Omalu: [earnestly] Yes.
- Dr. Cyril Wecht: What the hell for?
- Dr. Bennet Omalu: For knowing.”
Albert Brooks - Dr. Cyril Wecht
Will Smith - Dr. Bennet Omalu

“I make that same face when I put my cologne on in the morning, especially when I'm home alone.”

David Spade - General George Custer

“Kate, if I wanted you to have an idea, I'd give it to you.”
Anna Hopkins - Simone

“- Leonard Turner: [begins writing] Everybody?
- Leonard Turner: [suddenly stabs him with the pen and subdues everyone in the room] You look so stupid with that pen in your neck.
- Leonard Turner: [pointing his own gun at him] Don't ever threaten my family again.”

Bruce Willis - Leonard Turner

“- Harley Quinn: Are you the Devil?
- Amanda Waller: All you need to know is you work for me.”
Margot Robbie - Harley Quinn
Viola Davis - Amanda Waller

“- Mary Brown: He's about 3ft6. He's got a bright red hat on and a blue duffle coat. And he is a bear.
- Policeman: It's not much to go on.
- Mary Brown: Really?”
Sally Hawkins - Mary Brown
Dominic Coleman - Policeman

“- M: I'm afraid you've got the wrong end of the stick, Max. We're going to stop this system going online, and then I'm going to bring you in.
- C: On what grounds, exactly?
- M: Poor taste in friends.”
Ralph Fiennes - M
Andrew Scott - C

“Hey Vince, buddy, I need a favor - I need you to fuck my daughter's friend so I don't have to.”
Bob Saget - Bob Saget

“Mary, as you call her, is a bigoted, blinkered, cantankerous, devious, unforgiving, self-serving, rank, rude, car-mad cow, which is to say nothing of her flying feces and her ability to extrude from her withered buttocks turds of such force, that they land a yard from the back of the van and their presumed point of exit.”
Alex Jennings - Alan Bennett

“- Inspector Arthur Steed: And there's nothing left but to stop you.
- Maud Watts: What are you gonna do? Lock us all up? We're in every home, we're half the human race, you can't stop us all.”

Brendan Gleeson - Inspector Arthur Steed
Carey Mulligan - Maud Watts

“- Durotan: Can you hide your fat belly?
- Draka: Better than you can hide your fat head.”
Toby Kebbell - Durotan
Anna Galvin - Draka

“What kind of last name is Geernt? Geernt. Sounds like a queef on a yoga ball.”
Tina Fey - Kate Ellis

“- Allison: I like your costume, Dani.
- Dani: Thank you! I really like yours too. Of course, I couldn't wear anything like that because I don't have any - what do you call them, Max? Yabbos?
- Dani: Max likes your yabbos... in fact, he loves them!”

Vinessa Shaw - Allison
Thora Birch - Dani

“They could not come up with something this stupid in Nigeria!”

Will Smith - Dr. Bennet Omalu

“- Evelyn Greenslade: How was America?
- Muriel Donnelly: It made death more tempting.”
Dame Judi Dench - Evelyn Greenslade
Maggie Smith - Muriel Donnelly

“- Maura Ellis: I've been thinking...
- Kate Ellis: Why?”
Amy Poehler - Maura Ellis
Tina Fey - Kate Ellis

“- Gordon Bombay: Shut up! You guys stink! I thought we came here to play hockey.
- Peter Mark: [sarcastically] You know, I knew we forgot something.”
Emilio Estevez - Gordon Bombay
J.D. Daniels - Peter

“If you're gonna talk about World War II as if you personally won it, let's be clear where you were stationed - on a film set, shooting blanks, wearing makeup, and if you're going to hit me, I'd like to take off my glasses.”

Bryan Cranston - Dalton Trumbo

“The most versatile substance on the planet, and they used it to build a Frisbee.”

James Spader - Ultron

“- Red: I don’t trust them!
- Judge Peckinpah: Your opinion is not needed!
- Leonard: [mocking Red] Is there a doctor around because we have a burn victim here.”
Jason Sudeikis - Red
Keegan-Michael Key - Judge Peckinpah
Bill Hader - Leonard

“- Dr. Cyril Wecht: What if they show up here with a warrant?
- Dr. Bennet Omalu: On suspicion of what? Science?”
Albert Brooks - Dr. Cyril Wecht
Will Smith - Dr. Bennet Omalu