School quotes

“- Cheech: They taught me how to read and write in school before I burned it down.
- David Shayne: You burned down your school?
- Cheech: Yeah, it was Lincoln's birthday. There was nobody there.”
Chazz Palminteri - Cheech
John Cusack - David Shayne

“- Michael: Did you explain school to him?
- Elliott: How do you explain school to higher intelligence?”

Robert MacNaughton - Michael
Henry Thomas - Elliott

“- Murph: You don't know who you're talking to. I'm a senior student at this school.
- Junior Healy: No shit, you've been here since 1970.”
Eric Edwards - Murph
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy

- Mel Horowitz: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a "C+" to an "A-"?
- Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?
- Mel Horowitz: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.
Dan Hedaya - Mel Horowitz
Alicia Silverstone - Cher

“- Principal Maloney: What is going on? Raif, do something!
- Bentley: I am, Claire. I'm taking over your school.”
Brenda Fricker - Principal Maloney
Sir Patrick Stewart - Bentley

“- Sylvie Cooper: So what are you busted for?
- Ivy: I gotta keep a certain grade point average. I'm slipping in biology.”
Sara Gilbert - Sylvie Cooper
Drew Barrymore - Ivy

“I was a lesbian once at school, but only for about fifteen minutes.”
Kristin A. Scott Thomas - Fiona - Wedding One

“The smartest girl in school caught cheating, it will be scandalous.”
Helen Mirren - Mrs. Tingle

“I don't want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade.”

Anne Hathaway - Mia Thermopolis

“They don't teach anything in school. Nothing I need to know anyway.”
Alicia Witt - Bonnie

“- Louie Kritski: How come you're not in school, kid?
- Tito: It's Saturday.
- Louie Kritski: Yeah? Then why aren't you out playing basketball or break dancing?”
Joe Pesci - Louie Kritski
Kenn Michael - Tito

“Listen, I didn't expect you to rush out and buy me a corsage this morning, you know. Your high school ring is safe.”

Michelle Pfeiffer - Susie Diamond

“- Jamaal: Shit, motherfucker, you be lucky to get accepted to Duke, gettin' a 1430 on yo' SATs.
- Lee Harvey: Motherfucker, you know I had the flu.
- Jamaal: The flu, my ass! You had a motherfuckin' aneurysm to get a 1430!”
Anthony Anderson - Jamaal
Mongo Brownlee - Lee Harvey

“When I graduated first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.”
Norm MacDonald - Frank

“- Ben Healy: Junior, now you get out of this car. You are going to school!
- Junior Healy: I'd rather jump off a cliff.”
John Ritter - Ben Healy
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy

“I am very pleased with the results of the astronomy test. Although, there's still some confusion about Pluto. While its planetary classification is still uncertain, it is definitely not Mickey's dog.”
Grace Phillips - Miss Landers

“I'm not going to expel you. Three schools have done that and it's obviously done nothing for your character... I'm going to do much worse. I am going to keep you here until you graduate. It'll probably take years at this rate.”

Louis Gossett Jr. - Dean Parker

“- Homer: Why're the jocks the only ones who get to go to college?
- Roy Lee: They're also the only ones who get the girls.”
Jake Gyllenhaal - Homer Hickam
William Lee Scott - Roy Lee

“- Susan Morton: Hey honey, how was school?
- Carson Morton: The only girl who talked to me also talked to herself
- Susan Morton: Oh see, I always told you you were special. You are the most interesting person other than her.”
Nancy Travis - Susan Morton
Jamie Renée Smith - Carson Morton

Now I know that in some of your universities the students say, "No, we don't want literature, not philosophy for us this year. This year we think we will study... mushrooms". Mushrooms? I have news for you. This year, at my school, you will not study mushrooms!

Jean Rochefort - Monsieur Tessier

“I did not spend six years in junior college to be a maid.”
Ally Sheedy - Jessie Montgomery

“I won't be a caddy all my life. I'm going to car-wash school in the fall.”
Jonathan Silverman - Harry

“College girls have three times more sexual partners than a regular girl.”
Gary Wolf - Snake

“- Avon Rose: When I was in high school, I knew how things work.
- Caitlin Rose: Yeah, you knew how things work? Knocked up at seventeen, high school dropout. That makes you an authority.”
Isabella Hofmann - Avon Rose
Tiffani Thiessen - Caitlin Rose

“Some of you may have had easy lives up until now. Some of you may not. Life this semester won't be easy for any of you. Your grades in your first year of law school can determine your entire future in the law.”
James Earl Jones - Professor Banks