Sex quotes

“Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Marguerite Moreau

“- The Dude: Just stay away from my fucking lady friend.
- Da Fino: Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.
- The Dude: She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man!”
Jeff Bridges - The Dude
Jon Polito - Da Fino

“- Wendy: Tripper, I'm looking forward to some action this summer. I hope you can supply it.
- Tripper: I'll supply it for you, but the guy you gotta watch out for is Spaz!”
Cindy Girling - Wendy
Bill Murray - Tripper

“- Wanda Gershwitz: I want you to know something Otto.
- Otto: What?
- Wanda Gershwitz: Even if you were my brother I'd still want to fuck you.”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Wanda Gershwitz
Kevin Kline - Otto

“When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.”
Zach Galifianakis - Alan

“Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you're boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke?”
Holland Taylor - Mrs. Petrie

“You came here for a decent Scandinavian blowjob like the rest of us.”

“- Valerie Weston: I'm gonna go home, Steven. That's right. I'm serious. Because of you, I'm gonna get gangbanged, Steven. Gangbanged in Woodland Hills.
- Steven Schats: A lot of great actresses started out in porn.”
Calista Flockhart - Valerie Weston
Matthew Broderick - Steven Schats

“- Debbie: I was out with a friend.
- Fiona: Oh, a friend? Are all your friends deviant men twice your age?
- Debbie: What are you talking about?
- Fiona: Giving your body to men. You're a whore just like your mother!
- Debbie: Don't call me that! I'm nothing like her.”
Rose McGowan - Debbie Strand
Peg Shirley - Fiona Long

“- Debbie: Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.
- Pete: Who needs a time machine?”

Leslie Mann - Debbie
Paul Rudd - Pete

“- Lucy: In the five years we've known each other, have you once even ever considered having sex with me? Apart from tonight. You don't think I'm attracted to you.
- Kevin: I don't think you're attracted to half the men you sleep with.”
Courtney Love - Lucy
Paul Rudd - Kevin

“- Jezzie: You sold your soul, remember? That's what you told me.
- Jacob: Yeah? For what?
- Jezzie: A good lay.
- Jacob: Look what I got.
- Jezzie, Jacob: The best.”
Elizabeth Peña - Jezzie
Tim Robbins - Jacob

“- Celine Naville: So you also reject the idea that love is merely an emotional adaptation to a physical necessity?
- Robert Lewis: Completely.”
Cameron Diaz - Celine Naville
Ewan McGregor - Robert Lewis

Your Mommy said, "Just do it already!" which was very confusing to Daddy, so I took the most literal translation. But between you and me, it was the smartest thing I ever did, 'cause now you're here.

Seth Rogen - Ben Stone

“- Lauren Goodhue: Ryan and I were having sex! Hot steamy, sweaty sex! My body tingled orgasm after orgasm...
- Sergeant Orono: Lady, I just asked for your name.
- Lauren Goodhue: Oh... Mrs. Hibbing Goodhue.”
Kelly LeBrock - Lauren Goodhue
Benjamin Ratner - Sergeant Orono

“Penis insecurity. When the penis doesn't get enough showmanship it has to remind itself that it's still an almighty tool and can make any woman moan.”
Kam Heskin - Carrie Carson

“- April Stool: I'm fucking the gardener.
- Lloyd Stool: I hate you.
- April Stool: I don't care.”
Andrea Martin - April Stool
Buck Henry - Lloyd Stool

“- Larry Kroger: I was thinking, maybe we could get some beer.
- Clorette DePasto: Nah, not tonight. Besides, you might get lucky without it.”
Tom Hulce - Larry Kroger
Sarah Holcomb - Clorette DePasto

“- Father Seamus: Tell me. Is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?
- Charlie McManus: I wouldn't know... I must come clean, though, I, I had a man in my bed last night. All night. You see, the way I see it, sex is allowed.”
Tom Hickey - Father Seamus
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Jack Faulkner: What is it that especially bothers you, that it was on the same day or that it was Evelyn Ames?
- Suzanne Vale: It's not the fact that you fuck around a lot, it's that you lie about it. You could have just told me the truth and then fucked them all.”
Dennis Quaid - Jack Faulkner
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

“- Colleen Beck: I'd be more comfortable if he slept in the guest room.
- Alyssa Beck: Well, I'd be more comfortable if you hadn't slept with Josh. George would be more comfortable if he wasn't dying.”
Mary Steenburgen - Colleen Beck
Jena Malone - Alyssa Beck

“Group social life has its place, but at a certain point other biological factors come into play. Our bodies weren't really designed for group social life. A certain amount of pairing off was always part of the original plan.”
Chris Eigeman - Des

“- Sophie: I don't care if you slept with hundreds of men. You're my mom, and I love you so much.
- Donna: [hugging her] Oh, Soph! And I haven't slept with hundreds of men.”
Amanda Seyfried - Sophie
Meryl Streep - Donna

“Water-based lubricants, friend or foe? You be the judge.”
Chris Pontius - himself

“- James Bond: What would I ever do without you?
- Moneypenny: As far as I can remember, James, you've never had me.
- James Bond: Hope springs eternal.”
Pierce Brosnan - James Bond
Samantha Bond - Moneypenny