Sex quotes

“- Lila Dubois: You know what they say about cello players- they like to do it in a chair with their legs spread wide.
- Dylan Ramsey: Ma'am, we have a dog in our presence!”
Sophie Marceau - Lila Dubois
David Spade - Dylan Ramsey

“- Victoria Aragon: We can sleep in Pedro's room.
- María José Aragón: In that teeny-tiny little bed? On your wedding night? Ay hija, no. You need room, to maneuver.”
Aitana Sánchez-Gijón - Victoria Aragon
Angélica Aragón - Marie Jose Aragon

“Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Or don't do anything I would!”

Cher - Mrs. Flax

“Mike, you go to therapy to get your issues worked out, not bang your therapist.”
Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett

“Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!”
Courteney Cox - Monica Geller

“I gave you the ultimate male fantasy: sex! With nothing on the side. Don't pretend we shared anything other than fluids, Adam.”

Jaime King - Pixel

“Felix, for the last 40 years I've lived a life of dedicated debauchery. I've consumed enough booze to destroy a dozen healthy livers. I've filled my lungs with enough nicotine to poison the entire population of Orange County. I've engaged in sexual excesses that make Caligula look like a celibate monk. I have, in fact, conscientiously, day in...” (continue)(continue reading)
William M. Holden - Tim Culley

“- Mr. Randy: Goddamn it, Julian, you leave the game, even for a while, I don't know if they'll gonna let you back in. And then what the hell are you gonna do? Waste your days picking up illiterate teenagers for suck-and-fuck sessions behind the Old Navy store?
- Julian Noble: Sounds delightful to me.”
Philip Baker Hall - Mr. Randy
Pierce Brosnan - Julian Noble

“Say the point of sex isn't recreation or procreation or any of that stuff. Say it's concentration. Say it's supposed to focus your attention on the person you're sleeping with, like biological highlighter. Otherwise, there's just too many people in the world.”

Lyle Pearce Lovett - Sheriff Carl Tippett

“I didn't mean to weird you out. I was wrong, please. I just get paranoid sometimes. I'm drunk. I'm tired, and I've just been fornicating for the past two hours, and before that I was doing shit, horrible business shit.”
Pierce Brosnan - Julian Noble

“No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And, by God, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!”
Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers

“- Jonathan: I don't know Manolo, I think it's hopeless. I'm never going to get laid!
- Professor: Although that thought may be of great comfort to the women of the world Mr. Moore, as a future veterinarian, you should know that every dog eventually has his day.”
Anthony Edwards - Jonathan
David Wohl - Professor

“- Maurey Pierce: We're both virgins, but someday we're gonna find ourselves doing it for real.
- Sam Callahan: So today's sex isn't real?
- Maurey Pierce: We're just friends helping each other learn a new skill. This is practice.
- Sam Callahan: So, will we still be virgins afterward?”
Mischa Barton - Maurey Pierce
Bug Hall - Sam Callahan

“- Sam: She's not like that! She likes to make love quiet and slow and gentle...
- Maggie: Are you kidding? That girl of yours is a carnival ride!”

Matthew Broderick - Sam
Meg Ryan - Maggie

“- Toni Mannix: I laugh when I'm happy.
- George Reeves: Who is it I'm making so happy? Just a poor girl with no last name. I had no idea I could spread this much joy!
- Toni Mannix: Who knows what you might be spreading?”
Diane Lane - Toni Mannix
Ben Affleck - George Reeves

“- Mary Hatch: What do you want?
- George Bailey: Me? Nothing! I just came in to get warm.
- Mary Hatch: He's making violent love to me, mother!”
Donna Reed - Mary Hatch
James Stewart - George Bailey

“My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.”
Jeff Anderson - Randal Graves

“- Farmer Ted: This information cannot leave this room. Okay? It would devastate my reputation as a dude.
- Samantha: No problem.
- Farmer Ted: I've never bagged a babe. I'm not a stud.
[Samantha chuckles]”
Anthony Michael Hall - Farmer Ted
Molly Ringwald - Samantha

“Tomorrow we’ll get naked and tonight we'll wear our pj’s.”
Keanu Reeves - Nelson Moss

“- Mike Perry: Thank you for your sexual insight, Mr. Thurman. You can sit down now.
- Jason: Famous people always get sex, Mr. Perry. That's the main reason it's good to be famous.”
Mike O'Malley - Mike Perry
Jason Dohring - Jason

“You know, sometimes I envy you and Edna. You have the same person every day for over 30 years. You wake up, eat with her, sleep with her. Make love to the same woman. You spend every possible waking moment together, while I'm out running around with a bunch of 20-year-olds who only want a good time and cheap sex sex sex. Girls who can't say no....” (continue)(continue reading)

Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Cindy: Girls have to do everything. Boys are totally clueless when it comes to sex. It starts with them trying to unhook our bras, fumbling around, and it never changes. Wait until they try to put their dick into you.
- Diana: Please don't say they need help with that.
- Cindy: Always.”
Kristen Miller - Cindy
Jessica Driscoll - Diana, Principal's Secretary

“- Al Connelly: You slept with a sixty year old?
- Eddie Hicks: Hey, when you work in the physical therapy industry - you make friends fast.”
Freddie Prinze Jr. - Al Connelly
Shawn Hatosy - Eddie Hicks

“I could increase the frequency with which I pleasure Milt with my hands and with my mouth!”

Jeanette Miller - Gram-Gram

“- Elvin Clyde: Who did you go as?
- Peter Appleton: A horny young man.”
Bob Balaban - Elvin Clyde
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton