Sex quotes

“- Alex: If you eat my yogurt again, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Stuart: You make murder sound so sexual, Alex.”
Lara Flynn Boyle - Alex
Stephen Baldwin - Stuart

“- Judge: Bailiff! Throw this jackass out of my courtroom!
- Mr. Mifflin: He's not only that! He's also a pervert! He touches himself in the mens room!
- Peggy Schuyler: And he cheated on my daddy! He had sex with a dead woman in your office!
- Burton Schuyler: You're fired Cobb!”
Harvey Vernon - Judge
Michael Ensign - Mr. Mifflin
Madolyn Smith Osborne - Peggy Schuyler
Dana Elcar - Burton Schuyler

“- Mike Chadway: Abby, you're a very attractive woman, but you're completely inaccessible. You're all about comfort and efficiency!
- Abby: What's wrong with comfort and efficiency?
- Mike Chadway: Well nothing, except no one wants to fuck it.”
Gerard Butler - Mike Chadway
Katherine Heigl - Abby

We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says "you gotta check out one of these shows". And... it's a woman fuckin' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and... it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.
Seth Rogen - Cal

“I'll mate for life. One day at a time.”
Robert Redford - Denys

“You bring me over here and you tell me I'm the worst lover you ever had. And now you tell me it can't be helped!”
Brian McCardie - Eric

“- Francis Phelan: I don't think about it that much anymore. To tell you the truth, I'm over the hill.
- Rosskam: Over the hill? How old are you, 62?
- Francis Phelan: I'm not that old.
- Rosskam: 71 here. I don't go over no hills. Four, five times a night, I get it with the old woman, and in the daylight I go house to house, I get offers. I...” (continue)(continue reading)

Jack Nicholson - Francis Phelan
Hy Anzell - Rosskam

“I never do it with whores. You start out with a burning desire and then you end up the next day with a burning sensation if you know what I mean...”
John Malkovich - Clown

“- Trent: Okay. Nolan. How about I pay, you pump?
- Nolan: Sure, man. Hey, I give a wicked blow job too.
- Trent: Okay, well, um, we'll try that out later.”
Travis Van Winkle - Trent
Ryan Hansen - Nolan

“- Cooper Harris: Oh, forget about the law firm. And don't thank me, I should be thanking you. This trip is a once in a life-time opportunity for me to broaden my sexual horizons.
- Scott Thomas: What are you talking about?
- Cooper Harris: I'm talking about crazy European sex.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas

“I was a virgin. My virginity was my most cherished possession. My gift from God. My gift was taken from me.”
Natalie Dormer - Victoria

“When a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”
Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander

“I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!”
Will Ferrell - Chazz Michael Michaels

“- Sheila Kingston: Maybe if you spiced up your sex life a little you wouldn't be divorced.
- Fred Lavery: What do you mean? I spiced it up plenty. Many's the time I let the wife get on top.”
Rosie O'Donnell - Sheila
Dan Aykroyd - Fred

“- Principal Holmstead: How am I ever going to get through to you?
- Kelly Ernswiler: Well, advertising executives use status and sex to appeal to my demographic.”
Hattie Winston - Principal Holmstead
Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler

“- Cindy Sondheim: We can go to bed, maybe get in a little quickie.
- Dracula: No. With you, never a quickie. Always a longie.”
Susan Saint James - Cindy Sondheim
George Hamilton - Count Vladimir Dracula

“- Bob's Wife: It was never my intention to break up a home. I come from a strong solid family background; my parents have been married for 25 years...
- Judith Moore: Wow, you sound great! Can I fuck you?”
Tamlyn Tomita - Bob's Wife
Holly Hunter - Judith Moore

“- Barbara Rose: Have you ever made angry love?
- Gavin D'Amato: Is there any other way?”
Kathleen Turner - Barbara Rose
Danny DeVito - Gavin D'Amato

“- Connie: So, are you as good in bed as you are on that dance floor?
- Tony Manero: You know, Connie, if you're as good in bed as you are on the dance floor, then you're one lousy fuck.
- Connie: Then how come they always send me flowers the next morning?
- Tony Manero: I dunno. Maybe they thought you was dead.”
Fran Drescher - Connie
John Travolta - Tony Manero

“- Sammy: Terry, I fucked my boss.
- Terry: What?
- Sammy: And his wife is six months pregnant...
- Terry: Jesus Christ, Sammy!
- Sammy: I know... I know...”
Laura Linney - Sammy
Mark Ruffalo - Terry

“- Justine Last: Couple that prays together, stays together.
- Phil Last: I heard it was the couple that lays together, stays together.
- Justine Last: Well, you've heard wrong.”
Jennifer Aniston - Justine Last
John C. Reilly - Phil Last

“- Harry Block: She's got a PhD, this girl.
- Doris: Really? I don't know how she did on her written, but I'm sure she got an A plus on her oral exam.”

Woody Allen - Harry Block
Caroline Aaron - Doris

“I don't know why you guys have to reduce everything to sex. It's just disgusting.”
Ben Affleck - Jack Ryan

“Wait wait wait: she could sing, you could sing, Jane. It relaxes the throat.”

Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters

“Fat girls tend to come a lot.”
Dudley Moore - Wylie Cooper