Sex quotes

“- Annette: Ain't ya gonna ask me to sit down?
- Tony Manero: No, 'cause you would do it.
- Annette: Bet you'd ask me to lay down.
- Tony Manero: No, you would not do it.”
Donna Pescow - Annette
John Travolta - Tony Manero

“- Aquamarine: Do you love me?
- Raymond: No but I think you're hot.”
Sara Paxton - Aquamarine
Jack McDorman - Raymond

“- Newton's Mother: Newton! What are you doing up there?
- Newton: I'm up in my room with some friends, Mom!
- Hailey: I want to have your baby.”

David Cross - Newton
Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine - Hailey

“- Bookseller: The female vampire needs the blood of a virgin, and an 18-year-old boy would hardly be a virgin, now would he?
- Robin Pierce: Well just hypothetically, what if he was a virgin?
- Bookseller: Well then I think he has a lot bigger problems to worry about than female vampires.”
Peter Elbling - Bookseller
Karen Kopins - Robin Pierce

“Bam just took a golden dildo up his ass at high speeds. That's what happened.”
Manny Puig - himself

What's this? "For prompt service, blow me". That's an interesting touch.

John Candy - Chet Ripley

“- Bret Maverick: You tend to breathe hard when you get excited.
- Annabelle Bransford: How did you - oh.”
Mel Gibson - Bret Maverick
Jodie Foster - Annabelle Bransford

“Do you know what I had for breakfast this morning, rookie? How do you say... I had Sunny side up, und I had Sunny side down, und I had Sunny side all the vay around.”
John Patrick Reger - Rudi

“- Gail Hartman: Are you makin' a pass at me?
- Tom Hartman: I don't know, is that what it's called this far outside of Boston?
- Gail Hartman: This far inside of marriage, you mean.
- Tom Hartman: I think we're sufficiently alienated for this to qualify as a pass.”
Meryl Streep - Gail Hartman
David Strathairn - Tom Hartman

“- Beth Garner: You've never been like that before. Why?
- Nick: You tell me, you're the shrink.
- Beth Garner: You weren't making love to me!
- Nick: Well, who was I making love to?
- Beth Garner: You weren't making love at all.”

Jeanne Marie Tripplehorn - Dr. Beth Garner
Michael Douglas - Detective Nick Curran

"Soon the primal fire began to burn in Lady Hookstraten's body. Her hips twitched and trembled as each fireball from Oliver's powerful cannon erupted like molten lava into the quivering mouth of her ever-fluttering love purse".

Steve Martin - Larry

“- Ivan Alexeev: You look ravishing and I'd like to chew on your thighs.
- Samantha Gregory: I thought we had a professional relationship.
- Ivan Alexeev: So I'll pay.”
John Cusack - Ivan Alexeev
Mary Crosby - Samantha Gregory

“- Chet: You will be Shee-lana, Shee-lana, the oak tree woman.
- Connie: Oh, I love it when I'm the oak tree woman!
- Chet: Temptress of the woods.
- Connie: Yes, Yes!
- Chet: Yes, and I will be... Burt.
- Connie: Burt!
- Chet: A guy named Burt. Or I could be Smokey's cousin horny.”
John Candy - Chet Ripley
Stephanie Faracy - Connie Ripley

“I was so bored once that I fucked a dog.”
Gary Leonard Oldman - Sid Vicious

“I am a sex object. I always ask women for sex, and they object.”
Johnny Yune - Bruce

“- Blonde: I'm so lonely!
- Daryl: How could a righteous babe like you be lonely?
- Blonde: That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me!
- Daryl: Really?
- Blonde: Wanna go to bed?”
Lolita Davidovich - Blonde
Anthony Rapp - Daryl

“We run out of ice, so I run out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing number 17, the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out; I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Velma Kelly

“I want to make love to you, not just once, but over and over again! But I'll never tell you that. I'd have to be crazy to tell you. I'd even make love to you now, right here for the rest of my life.”
Roberto Benigni - Guido

“You're always complaining, except when we make love. Then you say nothing.”
Qi Shu - Lai

“- Ron Grady: What about you and that rich babe you've been cruising to school with every day.
- Jesse Walsh: What about her?
- Ron Grady: Are you mounting her nightly or what?”
Robert Rusler - Ron Grady
Mark Patton - Jesse Walsh

- Jackie: I just don't believe it. I refuse.
- Charles W. Grimes: My assistant now used to say "truth is less fun than fiction".
- Jackie: Terry would never do that!
- Claire Kubik: Oh, you're screwin' him so you know him?
- Jackie: Excuse me, Mrs Ron Chapman!
Amanda Peet - Jackie
Morgan Freeman - Charles W. Grimes
Ashley Judd - Claire Kubik

“Why are we pretending your bag isn't buzzing? You bought a vibrator.”
Rosie O'Donnell - Sheila

“- Mitch Weaver: Hey, hey! Hey, you remember in 5th grade when I was under the monkey bars and I sneaked a peek at your sister's underwear? Remember that? Hey, no no! I was sneaking a peek at my own sister's underwear!
- Sam McKenna: That's right! Yeah, and then remember in the 12th grade, you had sex with her?
- Mitch Weaver: Okay, enough...” (continue)(continue reading)

Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
Artie Lange - Sam McKenna

“- Beth: We could do it in the... butt, if you want.
- Andy: But if I want what?
- Beth: You know... butt!
- Andy: But... what?”
Elizabeth Banks - Beth
Steve Carrell - Andy

- Gary: McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate"!
- J.J.: You mean, penis-in-vagina?
- Gary: No, dickhead - sex.
A.D. Miles - Gary
Zak Orth - J.J.