Sex quotes

“- Nick: I liked her. I loved the sex.
- Deborah: So, you love me, but you only like the sex.”

Woody Allen - Nick
Bette Midler - Deborah

“I come home and catch you up to your nuts in Lady Shagging Godiva!”

Gwyneth Paltrow - Helen

- Gwen Harrison: I slept with him.
- Kathleen "Kiki" Harrison: Hector? Are you in love with him?
- Gwen Harrison: Come on! It's not always about love. Sometimes you just need to get laid.
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Gwen Harrison
Julia Roberts - Kathleen "Kiki" Harrison

“- Dorothy Vallens: Are you a bad boy?
- Jeffrey Beaumont: What do you mean?
- Dorothy Vallens: Do you want to do bad things? Anything. Anything.
- Jeffrey Beaumont: What do you want?
- Dorothy Vallens: I want you to hurt me.”

Isabella Rossellini - Dorothy Vallens
Kyle MacLachlan - Jeffrey Beaumont

“- Squirrel: Hi, my name is Squirrel. What's yours?
- Georgette: Georgette.
- Squirrel: I suppose a fuck is out of the question?”
Frank Koppala - Squirrel
Ami Julius - Georgette

“So anyways....Doggie Style...mmmhmmmm yeah, Doggie Style.”

Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Charles Rane: Did you and your friend enjoy yourselves down in the lower gallery? Down in that tight, little place? Tell me something, Marti. Did the hero get into your tight, little place?
- Marti Slayton: You're repulsive!
- Charles Rane: You'll change your mind once we get to know each other.”
Bruce Payne - Charles Rane
Alex Datcher - Marti Slayton

“What do you say if we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex... you know, see what happens.”
David Koechner - Champ Kind

“A massive amount of fornication can lead to confusion.”
Jeremy Irons - Pucci

“- Stacy: When you're with a guy, you're not just sleeping with him, you're sleeping with everyone they've had sex with.
- Ilene: And everyone they've had sex with.
- Melissa: Gee, I'm a lot more experienced than I thought I was!”
Lea Thompson - Stacy
Mary Gross - Ilene
Victoria Jackson - Melissa

“Go to bed. You have a geography test in the morning.”

Cher - Cher

“- Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink?
- Miles: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
- Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax?
- Miles: And Lexapro, yes.
- Jack: Well, I say, fuck that too. You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.”
Thomas Haden Church - Jack
Paul Giamatti - Miles

“- Hedley Lamarr: Think of your secretary...
[the pen goes straight in]
- Governor William J. Le Petomane: Thank you. That's a good one.”

Mel Brooks - Hedley Lamarr
Mel Brooks - Governor William J. Le Petomane

“- Melissa: What did he do, fuck some other girl?
- Laura: Excuse me?
- Melissa: Did he put his cock somewhere he shouldn't have?”
Molly Ringwald - Melissa Nelson
Sarah Lassez - Laura

- Jim Levenstein: Was I any good that night?
- Michelle Flaherty: Jeez how could I forget? You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible?
- Jim Levenstein: I'm sorry, "terrible"?
- Michelle Flaherty: I've had worse.
- Jim Levenstein: Oh.
- Michelle Flaherty: Oh, sorry. I just...... (continue)(continue reading)
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty

“- Tinka Parker: Look, Von Stefan. I know you like this place the way it is, but wake up. It's not real life. Real life is boy, girl, boy, girl.
- Verena Von Stefan: No, real life is boy on top of girl.”
Monica Keena - Tinka Parker
Kirsten Dunst - Verena von Stefan

“- Philip Edwards: Sometimes the shepherd needs the comfort of the sheep.
- Elena Hood: I'm going to try hard not to understand the implications of that.”
Michael Cumpsty - Philip Edwards
Joan Allen - Elena Hood

“- Amanda Shelton: My friend Nolan told me this thing about men and sex, that they think about it 238 times a day and when they do they adjust their belts.
- Tom Bartlett: That's ridiculous, no, no, not the belt, I meant the amount. That's ridiculous. Do the math I'm awake maybe 17 hours a day. Times 60 would be 1020, divided by 238, that would...” (continue)(continue reading)
Sarah Michelle Gellar - Amanda Shelton
Sean Patrick Flanery - Tom Bartlett

“- Gord Brody: Fuck you, dad.
- Jim Brody: Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do?
[drops his pants]
- Jim Brody: Well, go ahead, fuck me.”
Tom Greening - Gord Brody
Rip Torn - Jim Brody

“- Graham Knox: This is a little embarrassing, but... since we're letting our hair down... these old air vents between our apartments carry sound. It's a weird acoustic thing.
- Allison Jones: Well, what do you hear? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed.”

Peter Friedman - Graham Knox
Bridget Fonda - Allison Jones

“- Randall: Can I borrow your car?
- Tom: Yea man, you know, just leave the keys on the tire and don't get any blood on the back seat.
- Randall: I wouldn't dream of it. I want this to be special, you know, like in the middle of the woods up against a tree.”
Jesse Janzen - Randall
Jared Padalecki - Tom

“- Nico: I never knew vampires could do sex.
- Dallas: That's a myth. With a good commercial lubricant we could go for hours.”
Natasha Gregson Wagner - Nico
Casper Van Dien - Dallas

“18 years of nothing, and now twice in one day! What a place!”

John Candy - Den

“- Anaïs Nin: How would you lie to June if you were making love to her?
- Hugo: Making love to her?
- Anaïs Nin: Yes. To her body. To her voluptuous body. She is so perverse, so naked. Tell her that you love her.
- Hugo: I love you.”
Maria de Medeiros - Anaïs Nin
Richard R. Grant - Hugo

“- Cassandra: Tell me the truth. Have you ever... made it with one of us?
- Matthew Sykes: No... unless I got drunk and somebody didn't tell me.
- Cassandra: Mmm. A virgin! I find that very arousing. You sure you haven't?
- Matthew Sykes: Um... there's lots of things I haven't done; that's not real high on my list. No... you know... don't take it...” (continue)(continue reading)

Leslie Bevis - Cassandra
James Caan - Matthew Sykes