Sex quotes

“- Eddie Sparks: What? We're short on time. Two minutes time. Well, Dixie do you have any ideas of what we can do in two minutes?
- Dixie Leonard: Not unless your part rabbit.”
James Caan - Eddie Sparks
Bette Midler - Dixie Leonard

“Darlene and Roy have to sleep together. It'll make it even. It's like a dealer trade-in.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Lonnie Earl Dodd

“- Roy: Just because you're familiar with the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
- Claudia: Look, Mr. Munster, you're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.
- Roy: Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?”
Woody Harrelson - Roy Munson
Vanessa Angel - Claudia

“I am going to Bangkok to assume a missionary position.”

Joan Messiah - Nun

“- Mr. Leonard: If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
- Dave Goodman: Slave to the freaky ass booty.
- Mr. Leonard: That's more then one word.”
Joe Flaherty - Mr. Leonard
Devon Sawa - Dave Goodman

“What's up with you lots, never had a shag in a Chevy?”
Brenda Blethyn - Mari Hoff

“- Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
- Brandt: Ah! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
- Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
- Brandt: Ah! That's marvelous.
- The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.”

Tara Reid - Bunny Lebowski
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Brandt
Jeff Bridges - The Dude

“Fuck fun. I want some pussy.”
Mario Joyner - Tom McNeal

“- Warren: My girl Melanie just left me.
- Larry: What'd she leave you for?
- Warren: She came home last night, found some guy robbing her apartment. They just hit it off.
- Larry: Gee, that sounds tough.”
Charles Grodin - Warren
Steve Martin - Larry

“- Marcus: I want to fuck your ass.
- Alex: I thought you were romantic.”
Vincent Cassel - Marcus
Monica Bellucci - Alex

“The blue hankie means blow-job. You have one hanging out of your left pants pocket means you want a blow-job. A blue in the right rear pocket is you give them. The green hankie in your right rear pocket means you're a hustler. The green hankie in your left rear means you're looking to buy. The yellow hankie in your left rear pocket means you...” (continue)(continue reading)
Powers Boothe - Hankie Salesman

“- Colleen Van Deusen: Has everyone checked in?
- Charles McCulloch: No. Jim Miller and Suzi Donaldson never showed up, and I'm more than a little concerned.
- Colleen Van Deusen: Well, don't be. They probably decided to explore each other rather than New York.”
Barbara Bingham - Colleen Van Deusen
Peter Mark Richman - Charles McCulloch

“The real excitement of course is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness week. We import two hundred hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and two thousand dollars cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can. The winner of course is named King of Sexual Awareness week and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Bill Murray - Tripper

“- Evan M. Wright: There's no sex in your movie, there has to be more sex.
- Marvin: No there is some, it's just not obvious.”
Robert De Niro - Evan M. Wright
Robert Wuhl - Marvin Landisman

“- Ann Bishop Mullany: So let me see, you said, um, you said that I should never take advice from someone that I haven't had sex with, right... right?
- Graham Dalton: Basically.
- Ann Bishop Mullany: Right. And, uh, we haven't had sex... right?
- Graham Dalton: So...
- Ann Bishop Mullany: So, I, I, I guess from your own advice, I shouldn't take...” (continue)(continue reading)
Andie MacDowell - Ann Bishop Mullany
James Spader - Graham Dalton

“- Anna Harrison: How come Isabel screams during sex?
- Jackie Harrison: How do you know she screams during sex?
- Anna Harrison: I live in the same country.”
Jena Malone - Anna Harrison
Susan Sarandon - Jackie Harrison

“The only thing worse than a politician is a child molester.”
Rip Torn - Sheriff Hank Pearson

“- Lady Ottoline Morrell: You know as well as I do it's a sickness with Carrington. A girl of that age still a virgin. It's absurd.
- Lytton Strachey: I was still a virgin at her age.
- Lady Ottoline Morrell: But that's my whole point. Don't you see? So was I. Is there to be no progress?”
Penelope Wilton - Lady Ottoline Morrell
Jonathan Pryce - Lytton Strachey

“I wasn't suggesting that the two of you get married, I just thought maybe you could get it on!”
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters

“Your eyes, your smile, made my little life worthwhile. The sky was a lot more blue when I was on top of you.”

Trey Parker - Alferd Packer

“There is a distinct difference between killing someone and fucking them!”
Lesley Ann Warren - Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake

“- Michael Berkow: I'm not gonna try to use you as a hand puppet or anything. I just wanna...
- Tina: Okay.
- Michael Berkow: ... make sweet love to you because you have no idea what you've gotten into.”
Jeremy Piven - Michael Berkow
Kobe Tai - Tina

“Seems like everybody's having sex but me. Good for them. It's not that I'm against sex. I mean, it was clever of God or evolution or whatever to hook the survival of the species to it because we're gonna screw around no what. It was a smarter thing to pick than say... the instinct to share your toys or return phone calls. We'd have died out like...” (continue)(continue reading)
Christina Ricci - Dede Truitt

“See, this is what happens when a man swears off sex; the semen backs up into his brain!”

“- Audrey 'Lulu' Hankel: I was just admiring your bike.
- Police officer: Oh, do you like motorcycles?
- Audrey 'Lulu' Hankel: No, I just like big things between my legs.”
Melanie Griffith - Audrey Hankel