Sex quotes

“With all this permissive sex, and recreational violence, it's no wonder this country is in the mess it's in. I mean, it's like the old saying: when you lay down with dogs, you get up with puppies!”
Bob Trimboli - Lt. Jack B. Nimble

“- Anna: Why is the sex so important?
- Larry: Because I'm a fucking caveman!”
Julia Roberts - Anna
Clive Owen - Larry

“It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my cock out.”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler

“Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body, sir! Any use of the sexual act other than procreation is a waste of vital energy! Wasted seeds are wasted lives!”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

“- Lucy: Are you pleased to see me?
- Julia: Hello darling... where did you spring from?”

Carrie Mullan - Lucy
Kate Winslet - Julia

“It's our civic duty to bang the booty.”
Larry B. Scott - Tasty Taste

“I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.”
Dermot Mulroney - Nick Mercer

“I just wish the sex wasn't so amazing.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Amelia Warren

- Anna Scott: Rita Hayworth used to say, "They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me".
- William Thacker: Who's Gilda?
- Anna Scott: Her most famous part. Men went to bed with the dream; they didn't like it when they would wake up with the reality.
Julia Roberts - Anna Scott
Hugh Grant - William Thacker

“- Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
- Mikey - DJ Interviewer: Best shag you've ever had?
- Billy Mack: Britney Spears... No, only kidding. She was rubbish.”
Bill Nighy - Billy Mack
Marcus Brigstocke - Mikey - DJ Interviewer

“- Howie Rottman: I'd like to dip you in Cheez Whiz and spread you all over a cracker, if I'm not being too subtle.
- Charlene Morton: Boy, you some kinda freaky!
- Howie Rottman: Oh, you have no idea. You got me straight trippin', boo!”
Eugene Levy - Howie Rottman
Queen Latifah - Charlene Morton

- Corinne Maloney: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?
- Sonny Koufax: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called "doing the hibbidy-dibbidy".
Leslie Mann - Corinne Maloney
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Nancy Miller: I mostly want lots of good, straight sex.
- Judith Singer: What about affection, caring, love?
- Nancy Miller: I get love from Larry. I do love Larry. And he loves me.
- Judith Singer: So why the other men?
- Nancy Miller: Because they give me what Larry can't. Passion. Excitement. Novelty.
- Judith Singer: Can't you get that...” (continue)(continue reading)
Judith Ivey - Nancy Miller
Susan Sarandon - Judith Singer

- 'People' Reporter: So, are you saying she was... promiscuous?
- Mrs. Fisher: "Promiscuous"? She was a teen-aged tramp; she couldn't get enough! She would do it anywhere, anytime, and with anyone! She got knocked up when she was sixteen.
- 'People' Reporter: Knocked up?
- Mrs. Fisher: Well, she couldn't take care of it! Had to give that cute... (continue)(continue reading)
Deborah Rush - People' Reporter
Sylvia Miles - Mrs. Fisher

“Since accident, Malvert sometimes pee red. Sex kills. Sex kills.”
The Stick - Malvert the Janitor

“- Deborah: I have something to get you out of your midlife crisis.
- Nick: That can only mean a full-body vibrator!”

Bette Midler - Deborah
Woody Allen - Nick

“- Tina: Eddie, we can't. Matt will kill us.
- Eddie: Fuck him!
- Tina: Fuck you.
- Eddie: Exactly. Fuck me.”
Deborah Voorhees - Tina
John Robert Dixon - Eddie

“- George: Hey Jack, ever get a boner? You know, an erector.
- Jack Powell: Not yet, I'm hoping to get one for Christmas.”
Mario Yedidia - George
Robin Williams - Jack Powell

“- Jim Levenstein: Nadia will be expecting filet mignon, okay, and all I'm going to be able to give her is rump roast.
- Oz: What are you so worried about? You've had experience since Nadia.
- Jim Levenstein: Ah, yes. You would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch, and ditched me after prom.”
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Chris Klein - Oz

“- Tara Boumdeay: I speak perfect English. I also cook 815 international dishes, perform 637 sexual acts, use all the popular home appliances. Shall I cook you something.
- Chad Finletter: No. Thank you.
- Tara Boumdeay: How 'bout a blow job, maybe iron your pants?”
Karen M. Waldron - Tara Boumdeay
Anthony Starke - Chad Finletter

“Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives... to have sex.”

Val Kilmer - Chris Knight

“Sex don't mean nothin' Buddy. It ain't nothin' but a mosquito bite.”
Laura Dern - Rose

“- Ilene: Haven't you ever had an orgasm?
- Melissa: Oh, yeah, sure... no, not really. I mean, not with someone else in the room.”
Mary Gross - Ilene
Victoria Jackson - Melissa

“- Annuka: Is the Blackrobe a demon? He must be. Blackrobes never have sex with women.
- Daniel: It's a promise they make to their God.
- Annuka: Why make a promise like that?
- Daniel: Strange, isn't it?”
Sandrine Holt - Annuka
Aden Young - Daniel

“At least now we don't have to pretend that each new sexual experience is a life-altering event.”

Ethan Hawke - Jesse