Sex quotes

“Let me give you a little advice about women like her. The fuckin' you get, ain't worth the fuckin' you get, okay?”
Arye Gross - Max

“- Tripper: He's a sex machine.
- Wendy: He couldn't wake me up with a trumpet and a drum!
- Tripper: I went out with him one night and he got off six nurses by himself, and four of them couldn't report to work the next morning!”

Bill Murray - Tripper
Cindy Girling - Wendy

“- Mitch: You ever walk in on our parents doing it?
- Glen: No, have you?
- Mitch: Yeah.
- Glen: That's a horrible thing for a little kid to see.
- Mitch: This was last week in Florida!”
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins
Jon Lovitz - Glen Robbins

“I'll tell you what my problem is: A dream is waiting to come true, and I can't find a bed to put it on!”
Tom Hulce - Artie Shoemaker

“He told me afterwards in terms of absolute value, sex and drugs were equally meaningless to him. Just two different ways to have fun. Which is all well and good, until a girl tries out the same approach.”
Christina Ricci - Elizabeth

“You been with a woman, Zophael? It's like dying... you moan, cry out. You get to a spot that has you begging for release. Once, I was an Angel of Death... now, I die every day... when I have the cash.”
Christopher Walken - Gabriel

“I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name.”
Bridget Fonda - Eleanor Lightbody

“- Dulcy: It's like swimming. It's a measured stroke. And remember, here's the key: when the sperm count is low, they won't listen to reason. But, when the sperm count is high, they'll do anything you want.
- Adrian: It sounds awfully clinical.
- Dulcy: We're just going over some basics. But, if you love the guy, it should all come together with...” (continue)(continue reading)
Julie Hagerty - Dulcy
Mary Steenburgen - Adrian

“- Dean Proffitt: You jumped my bones the first night we met!
- Annie: We did it on the first date?
- Dean Proffitt: Couldn't call it a date really, we just did it in the parking lot of the 7-Eleven
- Annie: I'm a slut.
- Dean Proffitt: What did you say?
- Annie: Nothing.”

Kurt Russell - Dean Proffitt
Goldie Hawn - Annie

“- Pokey Jones: I never left home, but I know every inch of this highway. I know it inside out. Ask me a question if you like: ask me anything.
- Jackie Bangs: Do you wanna have sex with me?
- Pokey Jones: What?
- Jackie Bangs: Do you wanna have sex?
- Pokey Jones: No, I'm fine, thank you.”
Don McKellar - Pokey Jones
Valerie Buhagiar - Jackie Bangs

“- Bob Crane: A day without sex...
- John Carpenter: ...is a day wasted!”
Greg Kinnear - Bob Crane
Willem Dafoe - John Carpenter

“- Chandler: Condoms?
- Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
- Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?”

Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing
Matt LeBlanc - Joey Tribbiani

“Dear Mr. Sparrow, thank you for having sex with me.”

Dominique Swain - Andrea Marr

“- Ramon: You have to say something nice about my penis!
- Romy White: Oh, Ramon! Your penis is so powerful! I'm coming! Okay, thanks, get off me now.”
Jacob Vargas - Ramon
Mira Sorvino - Romy White

“- Jack Baker: Listen to me, princess. We fucked twice. That's it. Once the sweat dries, you still don't know shit about me. Got it?
- Susie Diamond: I know one thing. While Frank Baker was home putting his kids to sleep last night, little brother Jack was out dusting off his dreams for a few minutes. I was there. I saw it in your face. You're...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jeff Bridges - Jack Baker
Michelle Pfeiffer - Susie Diamond

“There's sex and there's love, that's what differentiates humans from animals.”
Tom Everett Scott - Andy McDermott

“I wish to speak to you now. Where is the Eye of the Serpent? Rexor said that you gave it to a girl; probably for a mere night's pleasure. Such a loss. People have no grasp of what they do.”

James Earl Jones - Thulsa Doom

“- Audrey Timmonds: Wait, I don't get it... If he's the first of his kind, how can he be pregnant? Doesn't he need a mate?
- Dr. Niko Tatopoulus: Not if he reproduces asexually.
- Audrey Timmonds: Where's the fun in that?”
Maria Pitillo - Audrey Timmonds
Matthew Broderick - Dr. Niko Tatopoulos

“- Eric Matthews: Maybe we could have dinner, you know?
- Gracie Hart: What? You, like, asking me on a date?
- Eric Matthews: No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it!”
Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews
Sandra Bullock - Gracie Hart

- Stacy: This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I remember when it was actually fun to say, "wow, that really felt great! What's your name again?".
- Melissa: I've never had sex with someone I didn't know. For that matter, I've never said, "wow, that felt really great".
Lea Thompson - Stacy
Victoria Jackson - Melissa

“- Nadia: If you just wanted sex, go to a prostitute.
- John: Well, as it turns out, I did.”
Nicole Kidman - Sophia, alias Nadia
Ben Chaplin - John

“- Ramu Gupta: The most powerful sexual organ is your brain. Think about it. Are you thinking?
- Turned On Woman: My whole body is about to think!”
Jimi Mistry - Ramu Gupta
Edythe Bronstein - Turned On Woman

“- Mark Kendall: Are you a prostitute?
- Countess: I'm whatever you want me to be.
- Mark Kendall: Good! 'Cause I only have five dollars!”
Jim Carrey - Mark Kendall
Lauren Hutton - Countess

- Nick: Great movie!
- Edward "Eddie" Tor Swenson: "Great movie"? Ninety minutes of condensed sex and violence - do you call that a "great movie"? Do you have the slightest idea of what the moral and ethical principle is?
- Nick: Hey man, relax! You shouldn't take things too seriously.
Per Löfberg - Nick
Johan Rudebeck - Edward "Eddie" Tor Swenson

“Oh, men! Always pulling legs. Everything is comedy. Oh, how very amusing. How marvelously droll.”
Lynn Redgrave - Hanna