Sex quotes

“Your dick will never forgive you.”

Seann William Scott - E. L.

- Brian Cohen: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
- Mandy Cohen: Stop thinking about sex!
- Brian Cohen: I wasn't!
- Mandy Cohen: You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?".
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

“- Dante Hicks: Oh my god, why did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys?
- Veronica Loughran: Because I did only have sex with three different guys; that doesn't mean I didn't just go with people.”
Brian O'Halloran - Dante Hicks
Marilyn Ghigliotti - Veronica

“- Scott Favor: I only have sex with a guy for money.
- Mike Waters: Yeah, I know.
- Scott Favor: Two guys can't love each other.
- Mike Waters: I don't know. I mean, for me, I could love someone even if I wasn't paid for it... I love you, and... you don't pay me.”
Keanu Reeves - Scott Favor
River Phoenix - Mike Waters

“No one gets laid until we've finished our movie. We're horny, but our film comes first!”
Stephen Dorff - Cecil

“- Butch Coolidge: I think I cracked a rib.
- Fabienne: Giving me oral pleasure?
- Butch Coolidge: No, retard, from the fight.”
Bruce Willis - Butch Coolidge
Maria de Medeiros - Fabienne

“- Angel: When did you lose your virginity? I just want to know.
- Ms. Bright: Why? Now why do you want to know that? Curiosity? I know I must have been at least nineteen.
- Angel: Nineteen?
- Ms. Bright: It was nothing. Still is nothing.”
Kristy McNichol - Angel
Margaret Blye - Ms. Bright

“- Bletch: Do you really think people are interested in nasal sex?
- Trevor the Rat: Sure, boss. It's the next big fad.”
Peter Vere-Jones - Bletch
Brian Sergent - Trevor the Rat

- Brandi: If we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make?
- Brodie: Wait, what's "whoopee"?
- Brandi: You know, being intimate.
- Brodie: What? Like fucking?
Claire Forlani - Brandi
Jason Lee - Brodie

- Rebecca Fernhurst: You had sex, didn't you? Well, talk to me you big slut, how was it?
- Andrea Marr: Disappointing. I wish I'd saved it.
- Rebecca Fernhurst: Oh, no way. You gotta get that first one over with. That way when it really counts, you're not sitting there the whole time going, "I'm not a virgin anymore, I'm not a virgin anymore".... (continue)(continue reading)
Summer Phoenix - Rebecca Fernhurst
Dominique Swain - Andrea Marr

“I'd rather be home with a fucked-up hand up in some pussy than to be out here healthier than a motherfucker without it.”
Chris Tucker - Skip

“- Crawford Tillinghast: I know your desires, you impotent pig!
- Dr. Edward Pretorius: We are the most powerful being in the universe!
- Crawford Tillinghast: She'll know, Edward, how pathetic you are! How you can't make love!
- Dr. Edward Pretorius: Maybe you can teach me!
- Crawford Tillinghast: Come and get me, eunuch!”
Jeffrey Combs - Crawford Tillinghast
Ted Sorel - Dr. Edward Pretorius

“- Mary Bell: I'm so sorry...
- Nick Falzone: Why?
- Mary Bell: I wasn't talking to you.
- Nick Falzone: Who were you talking to?
- Mary Bell: God, I guess!”

Angelina Jolie - Mary Bell
John Cusack - Nick Falzone

“- Victoria 'Vicky' Lathum: I want it to be the right time, the right place...
- Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's sex.”
Tara Reid - Victoria 'Vicky' Lathum
Natasha Lyonne - Jessica

“Bear... bearfucker, do you need assistance?”

Michael Weaver - Local Officer Smy

“Sex can be a beautiful, sensual experience between a man and a woman who truly love each other and want to spend eternity together laying in each other's gentle embrace. Or it can be a dirty, filthy spank-fest in a bus station restroom shared by two anonymous consenting adults on a layover in Detroit!”
Shirley Jones - Nurse

“- Oscar Novak: I'm never going to have sex again!
- Peter Steinberg: Oh, of course you will. Just maybe not with a woman.”
Matthew Perry - Oscar Novak
Oliver Platt - Peter Steinberg

“- Mark Hunter: I've got something to show you.
- Nora Diniro: Is it bigger than a baby's arm?”
Christian Slater - Mark Hunter
Samantha Mathis - Nora Diniro

“- Jane Spencer: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?
- Frank Drebin: I used to have that problem.
- Jane Spencer: What did you do about it?
- Frank Drebin: I just think about baseball.”

Priscilla Presley - Jane Spencer
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“Danger makes great sex.”
Fisher Stevens - Vince Latello

“It's going to be so good.”

Greta Scacchi - Caroline Polhemus

“- Audrey: Jon, how long do you think he was watching?
- Harry: I didn't see anything.”

Wendy Crewson - Audrey Aldrich
Don Ameche - Harry Aldrich

“My hobbies include coin collecting and dry-humping cheerleaders.”
Stephen Dorff - Cliff Spab

“- Rusty: What could you be scared of, huh? What's the worst fear, that you'll fall in the street? That someone'll make fun of you? I mean, what?
- Walt Koontz: That no one will want to sleep with me anymore.
- Rusty: Guess what, somebody won't.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Rusty
Robert De Niro - Walt Koontz

“Let me put it this way. Maybe I'd sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth. But we're not on Earth.”

Natasha Henstridge - Lieutenant Melanie Ballard