Sex quotes

“- Keith Marks: I told you, I have to be on top. I have back problems.
- Rowena: Among other things.”
James Denton - Keith Marks
Gail O'Grady - Rowena

“Hello gang, welcome to Sex Education. If you aren't registered for this course or are a Southern Baptist, you're in the wrong room.”
David Herman - Mr. Lowelle

“I fucked Jackie. Dirty cow. During what we were doing, she tried to stick her finger up my bum. I nearly hit the roof, you can imagine. I mean, what have you got to think of a woman who'd want to do that?”
Ben Kingsley - Don Logan

“- Coroner: My question is, how did she come to have sex with a dead man?
- Dante Hicks: She thought it was me.
- Coroner: What kind of convenience store do you run here?”
Pattijean Csik - Coroner
Brian O'Halloran - Dante Hicks

“- May-Alice Culhane: I can't have sex I can feel... unless I really get into blowjobs. Sorry. You're probably some big Christian and I just put my foot in my mouth.
- Chantelle: It's none of my business what you put in your mouth, Ms. Culhane.”
Mary McDonnell - May-Alice Culhane
Alfre Woodard - Chantelle

“- Jack Traven: I have to warn you, I've heard relationships based on intense experiences never work.
- Annie: Ok. We'll have to base it on sex then.
- Jack Traven: Whatever you say, ma'am.”

Keanu Reeves - Jack Traven
Sandra Bullock - Annie

“No time for the old in-out, love. I've just come to read the meter.”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)

“- Molly: ...you have no respect for women.
- Joey O'Brien: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question.
- Molly: I guess.
- Joey O'Brien: We'll forget dinner...”
Judith Hoag - Molly
Robin Williams - Joey O'Brien

“- Jimmie Shannon: Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.
- Marco: You are sick!”
Chris O'Donnell - Jimmie Shannon
Artie Lange - Marco

“I wrote the book on sex. I'm a prisoner of it. Hell, I'm a victim of it. I know all about that feeling you get in your belly when a man says he wants you, and if I know he's lying, I still get that feeling. I'm conditioned now.”
Lesley Ann Warren - Eve

“- Halley Reed: He wants to produce something of mine.
- Cliff Stern: Yeah. Your first child.”

Mia Farrow - Halley Reed
Woody Allen - Cliff Stern

“- Zoe: I am not a prostitute!
- Zed: That's great. Can I have my 1000 francs back, then?”
Julie Delpy - Zoe
Eric Stoltz - Zed

“- Eric Bates: What do you do with... your thing?
- Jack Brown: Is this a hypothetical question or is there a lady involved?”
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates
Richard Pryor - Jack Brown

“- Stewart Swinton: If you find me so attractive, how about me fucking you to death right now darling, how would that be?
- Laura Alden: I don't know I'll have to try it.”
James Spader - Stewart Swinton
Michelle Pfeiffer - Laura Alden

“- Cooper: Professor Chermenko, what about that handwriting?
- Prof. Chermenko: Ah. Richard Drew is a complex man, filled to the breaking point with psychological conflicts. His violin is a substitute for severe anger and repression. Sexual repression.”
Dabney Coleman - Cooper
Jeff Ware - Prof. Chermenko

“Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm.”
Iben Hjejle - Laura

“It ain't easy beings Josh's penis. Nothing has happened for two months, it feels like I'm in a coma. I wish I was your dick, E.L., because this is torture. If something doesn't happen soon, I'm just going to pack up my balls and leave.”

Seann William Scott - E. L.

“- Rosemary Cross: Do you think we're going to have sex?
- Max Fischer: That's a kinda cheap way to put it.
- Rosemary Cross: Not if you've ever fucked before, it isn't.”
Olivia Williams - Rosemary Cross
Jason Schwartzman - Max Fischer

“Let me tell ya something. This is the size of his dick baby, I'm talking about my nail, I'm talking about the pinky part. Feels like he's poking me with a coffee stirrer!”

“- Joey: Vince, we can't waste a nun.
- Vince LaRocca: What are you two nuts talking about? It's Deloris, in a costume.
- Willy: How do you know she didn't sign up and become one of them when she was there? Things like this happen.
- Vince LaRocca: Because I know this woman. In the biblical sense and she ain't no nun.”
Robert Miranda - Joey
Harvey Keitel - Vince LaRocca
Richard Portnow - Willy

“- John Correli: Were you ever engaged in any sadomasochistic activity?
- Catherine: Exactly what did you have in mind, Mr. Correli?”
Wayne Knight - John Correli
Sharon Stone - Catherine Tramell

“- Andy: Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, hey ladies?
- Vera: Aye, but we can do without the drugs and rock 'n' roll!”
Ewan McGregor - Andy
Sue Johnston - Vera

“- Adam: What do mean you can get me laid?
- Eve: Uh, can we talk about that a little later?
- Adam: Of course.
- Eve: Great.”
Brendan Fraser - Adam
Alicia Silverstone - Eve

“You will soon take a giant 12-inch cock up your ass. In bed. I don't know, somehow... it didn't make mine any funnier.”

Sarah Polley - Harper Sloane

I was crazy about you. I wanted to sleep with you, one day, but not when I was 16. When you broke up with me, you broke up with me, because I was, to use your charming expression: "tight". I cried, and I cried, and I hated you, and when that little shitbag asked me out and I was too tired to fight him off, it wasn't rape, because I said "ok",... (continue)(continue reading)

Joelle Carter - Penny Hardwick