Sex quotes

“- Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
- Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.”
Elisa Donovan - Amber
Stacey Dash - Dionne

“- Jody: What's out there?
- Mike: I don't know. It was little, brown and low to the ground.
- Jody: It was probably just a gopher in heat.”
Bill Thornbury - Jody
A. Michael Baldwin - Mike

“- Catherine: What do we do now, Nick?
- Nick: Fuck like minks, raise rugrats and live happily ever after.
- Catherine: Hate rugrats.
- Nick: Fuck like minks, forget the rugrats, and live happily ever after.”
Sharon Stone - Catherine Tramell
Michael Douglas - Detective Nick Curran

“- Paris: What would you do to someone... who decided to fuck with you in your own house?
- Cisco: I'd bust some caps!
- Paris: Bust some caps! Give this man a gold star.”
Avery Brooks - Paris
Lou Diamond Phillips - Cisco

- Kenny Fisher: Yo, I gotta have sex tonight! I mean peep this... they say here ninety-two percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going: "class... or sex? What shall I do?" Ninety-two percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
- Homeboy #2: What?
- Kenny Fisher: It means... (continue)(continue reading)
Seth Green - Kenny Fisher
Robert Jayne - Homeboy #2

“- Max Renn: That dress. It's very stimulating. And it's red. You know what Freud would've said about that dress.
- Nicki Brand: And he would've been right. I admit it. I live in a highly excited state of overstimulation.
- Max Renn: Listen, I'd really like to take you out to dinner tonight.”
James Woods - Max Renn
Debbie Harry - Nicki Brand

“- Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
- The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
- Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?
- The Dude: You mean coitus?”
Julianne Moore - Maude Lebowski
Jeff Bridges - The Dude

“- Harry Burns: No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
- Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
- Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.”
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns
Meg Ryan - Sally Albright

“- Stacy: This is a miracle! For once it's all up to him. No tubes, no jellies, no furtive trips to the bathroom... I can just sit back and let it happen. I don't have to do anything.
- Nick: I'm not too good with these things. Can you give me a hand putting it on?”

Lea Thompson - Stacy
Stephen Shellen - Nick

“- Alex Whitman: But we were only together one night.
- Isabel Fuentes: That's all it took.
- Alex Whitman: And I used a condom. Lots of them.
- Isabel Fuentes: Well, one didn't work.
- Alex Whitman: But that's it's job! It's whole purpose in life is... to work.”

Matthew Perry - Alex Whitman
Salma Hayek - Isabel Fuentes Whitman

“That man is so horny that not even the crack of dawn is safe.”
Annie Potts - Darla

“By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch.”

Jamie Lee Curtis - Ophelia

“It's weird, isn't it? You spend the first nine months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in.”
John Travolta - James

“- Strickland: You're a disappointment, Nero. But you know what disappoints me more?
- Lenny Nero: Your sex life?”
Josef Sommer - Palmer Strickland
Ralph Fiennes - Lenny Nero

“- Fanny: Tonight I'm gonna take you on a sleigh ride with some snow birds.
- Eddie Bradford: Sleigh ride? Snow birds? In summer?
- Fanny: Gee, you are dumb!”
Sheila Bromley - Fanny
Dean Benton - Eddie Bradford

“The two most important things are the work that you choose and sex.”
Woody Allen - Harry Block

“I don't go to bed with just anyone anymore. I have to be attracted to them sexually.”
Mira Sorvino - Marta Ferrer

“- Harkin: What happens now?
- Sylvia Fonda: First we take off our clothes and then we fuck our brains out.”
Patrick Houser - Harkin
Shannon Tweed - Sylvia Fonda

“Sex, sex, sex, that's all these kids talk about!”

Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

“- Danny: Well you know, these girls are only good for one thing.
- Sonny: Yeah, what are you suppose to do with them the rest of the 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day?”
John Travolta - Danny
Michael Tucci - Sonny

“She said having sex with you was like having sex with a salad with bad dressing! Why did you bring me into this world?”
J.J. Abrams - Doug

“- Mary Patrick: I can't believe the Pope is coming! This is better than ice cream!
- Mary Robert: It's better than springtime!
- Deloris: It's better than sex! No, I mean, I've heard.”
Kathy Najimy - Mary Patrick
Wendy Makkena - Mary Robert
Whoopi Goldberg - Deloris

- Bob Redding: I run the movie house.
- Elvira: Oh, really? I'm in movies too! Have you ever shown, uh, "I Married Satan"?
- Bob Redding: No...
- Elvira: How about the sequel, "I Married Satan 2"?
- Bob Redding: I, ah... I can only play G-rated movies.
- Elvira: Oh well, there's nothing wrong with G-rated movies, as long as there's lots of sex... (continue)(continue reading)
Daniel Greene - Bob Redding
Cassandra Peterson - Elvira

“- Dr. Diana Reddin: Do you have your own room?
- Dr. Alex Hesse: Yes. Why?
- Dr. Diana Reddin: Well, call me old-fashioned, but I'll be damned if I'm having a child with a man I've never even slept with.”
Emma Thompson - Dr. Diana Reddin
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Dr. Alex Hesse

“- Dr. Margo Hunt: They're an ancient commune of feminists, so radical, so militant, so left of center they... they eat their men.
- Bunny: Oh, that. Well, if I like a guy, I usually start at...
- Dr. Margo Hunt: They don't eat their men like that, Bunny.”
Shannon Tweed - Dr. Margo Hunt
Karen M. Waldron - Bunny