Sex quotes

“That was the worst fuckin' head I ever got in my life! Next time don't be so fuckin' eager!”

Juliette Lewis - Mallory Knox

“- Paul: I was wondering if I could fuck you.
- Rick: Man, I don't do things like that.
- Paul: That's what makes it so nice. You don't.”
Will Smith - Paul
Eric Thal - Rick

“Condoms don't work. They either break, or they slip off, or they make your dick shrink. But you still gotta use them, yo. At least I did once.”
Leo Fitzpatrick - Telly

“Grownup guys are happy in the morning when they wake up. My dad's so happy, he whistles when he goes to the bathroom. The only time he isn't happy is on Sunday morning when he and my mom wrestle. They kind of like to be alone when they do that. I think it's 'cause they take off their shirts and then they start to make funny noises.”
Mason Gamble - Dennis Mitchell

“I feel like I owe you a great fuck.”
Mira Sorvino - Linda Ash

“Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.”

Clint Eastwood - Walt Kowalski

“Sex always ends in kids or disease, or like, you know, relationships. That's exactly what I don't want. I want the opposite of all that. Because it's not worth it, not really, is it? When you think about it?”
Christina Ricci - Dede Truitt

“Sexual harassment is not about sex. It is about power. She has it; you don't.”

Roma Maffia - Catherine Alvarez

“I think Mommy doesn't want to make love to Daddy anymore. I think he tries to force her.”
Diane Franklin - Patricia Montelli

“Damon is the biggest practical joker I know. He once convinced a sophomore that he was the middle Hanson brother just so he could get laid.”
Michael Rosenbaum - Parker Riley

“If you deflower a girl man, you're the man. No one can ever do that again. You're the only one. No one, no one, has the power to do that again.”
Leo Fitzpatrick - Telly

“- Gail Stanwyck: She looks like a hooker. Look at her. Look at her! Could you love someone who looked like that?
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: What are you talking about? Of course not! Five, ten minutes tops, maybe.”
Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“You're the only man I know who can screw up his own wet dream.”

Kris Kristofferson - Bobby Logan

“- Big Lou Kritski: Heather, can I ask you something? How far did you go in school?
- Heather: Oh, well when I was in high school I wouldn't even let a guy touch me. But when I got to community college, I turned pretty wild.”
Vincent Gardenia - Big Lou Kritski
Stacey Travis - Heather

“- Loren Lukas: Where are you from?
- Stuart Richards: Mars.
- Loren Lukas: Terrific, I never made it with a Martian before.”
Arnaldo Santana - Loren Lukas
Richard Cox - Stuart Richards

“You should never traumatize a woman sexually. I should know, I'm a medical doctor.”
Lori Capp - Traumatized Yacht Owner

“You just wanna get laid. You'll say anything to get laid. Just like everyone else from California. What do you have, a cock for a brain, baby? Don't fuck with me, you asshole. Why don't you go fuck your father if he loves you so much?”
Anne Carlisle - Margaret

“- Cliff Nelson: Glad you got time to think about the girls. Between the girls and your art kick, you have no time for anything important. You'll be dead and buried before you get off your butt and apply to a college.
- Laura Nelson: Ease up, Dad. Any fool can get into a college. Only a precious few may say the same about Amanda Jones.”
John Ashton - Cliff Nelson
Maddie Corman - Laura Nelson

“Why am I always the last one in the neighborhood to get in bed with you?”
Charles Grodin - Ira Parks

“The first thing that flashed into my gulliver was that I'd like to have her right down there on the floor with the old in-out, real savage.”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)

“- Herb: When was the last time you fucked your wife?
- Ed Okin: You're a classy guy, Herb.”
Dan Aykroyd - Herb
Jeff Goldblum - Ed Okin

“In Paris, it's good to smell like you've been fucking to make them respect you.”
Jean-Hugues Anglade - Eric

“Now pay attention and concentrate on what I'm gonna say. This thing is going to work!”

Bo Derek - Lida MacGillivery

“For me, stealing's always been a lot like sex. Two people who want the same thing: they get in a room, they talk about it. They start to plan. It's kind of like flirting. It's kind of like foreplay, 'cause the more they talk about it, the wetter they get. The only difference is, I can fuck someone I've just met. But to steal? I need to know...” (continue)(continue reading)
Gina Gershon - Corky

The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend. I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy". She said, "Why did you say that twice?". I said, "I didn't". See, 'cause of the echo.

Shane Black - Hawkins