Sex quotes

“Can we get you anything else? Water, coffee, couple of female slaves?”

Julie Benz - Carol Connelly

“Those men wanted to have sex with me!”

Dan Aykroyd - Louis Winthorpe III

“- Max: What if I told you I have no interest in getting laid right now?
- Neil: Interest in getting laid is the human condition!”
James Spader - Max Baron
Jason Alexander - Neil

“- Jenny: Seems like Charlie and Edna have an understanding.
- Paula: Yeah. Charlie's under and Edna's standing.”
Linda Carol - Jenny
Andrea Darnell - Paula

“- Grandpa Gustafson: I have been to Hawaii.
- Mama Ragetti: Oh yeah? Which island?
- Grandpa Gustafson: Come on I wanna lay ya.
- Mama Ragetti: I find you disgusting.
- Grandpa Gustafson: Well, just as long as you find me.”
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson
Ann Morgan Guilbert - Mama Ragetti

“- Rowena: Are you all right? You don't even have to talk about it. It must have been awful, trapped out there with that wicked tongue. Well, I hope you gave it right back to her as good as she gave it.
- Dan De Mora: Oh, I know I did!”

Gail O'Grady - Rowena
Dennis Farina - Dan De Mora

“- Merry Noel Blake: How many men have you had?
- Liz Hamilton: Is that the test?
- Merry Noel Blake: How many?
- Liz Hamilton: How many before you're a slut?
- Merry Noel Blake: Three!
- Liz Hamilton: 'Better kick me out of the yard.”
Candice Bergen - Merry Noel Blake
Jacqueline Bisset - Liz Hamilton

“- Jonathan Mardukas: You ever had sex with an animal, Jack? Remember those chickens on the Indian reservation? There were some good looking chickens there Jack. You know, between us...
- Jack Walsh: Yeah, there were a couple there I might've taken a shot at.”
Charles Grodin - Jonathan Mardukas
Robert De Niro - Jack Walsh

“- Steven Carter: I came late to sex. I was nearly ten. That's when my friend Mark Watkins told me how babies were made.
- Young Steve: Really? Are you sure?
- Young Mark: Yeah. Honest. I saw it on one of my dad's videos.
- Steven Carter: For over a year after that I thought babies were made when two women tied a man to a bed and covered his...” (continue)(continue reading)

Ben Silverstone - Steven Carter
James Perkins - Young Steve
Nicholas Hunter - Young Mark

“- Linda Barrett: So tell me, do you like Ron?
- Stacy Hamilton: I like Ron. But it hurts so bad.
- Linda Barrett: Don't worry. Keep doing it, it gets a lot better, I swear.”

Phoebe Cates - Linda Barrett
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Stacy Hamilton

“- Sadie Hawkins: Fill me in.
- Dave Friedman: That remark could be misconstrued as sexual harassment, Agent Hawkins.”
Emma Thompson - FBI Agent Sadie Hawkins
Alan Rickman - Detective David Friedman

“- Chuck: How come you never scream when we have sex?
- Chili: Give me something to scream about.”
David Katims - Chuck
Rachel Howard - Chili

“- Beth: Your sister would kill us if she knew we did it in her bed.
- Tim Strode: Hey, it was your idea.
- Beth: I am bad, aren't I?
- Tim Strode: Only when you wear crotchless panties and bark like a dog.”
Mariah O'Brien - Beth
Keith Bogart - Tim Strode

“- Sally Miles: You know, you are sexually notorious.
- Tim Culley: Semi-fraudulent reputation, which I do everything I can to encourage.
- Sally Miles: Why?
- Tim Culley: Because it's the best way for an old man to compete in a young man's world.”
Julie Andrews - Sally Miles
William M. Holden - Tim Culley

They don't talk about broads nothing. Ya never hear Little Joe say, "hey, Hoss, I went to Virginia City and I saw a girl with the greatest ass I've ever seen in my life.". They just walk around the Ponderosa: "yes, pa, where's Little Joe?". Nothin' about broads. I don't think I'm being too picky. But, if at least once, they talked about getting... (continue)(continue reading)

Jackie Gayle - Sam

“Isn't Pearl Jam some sort of oriental sex thing?”
Colleen Camp - Judy Marks

“- Ralph: Once I got a steady girl, that put an end to it.
- King Gustav: She did not like fox hunting?
- Ralph: Of course not! Anna's not into it, is she?
- King Gustav: Oh, yes! She loves it! Most royals do.”

John Goodman - Ralph
Julian Glover - King Gustav

“- Bob Hargrove: You ever take it like that, Corelli?
- David Corelli: Is that an offer, Inspector?
- Bob Hargrove: You wish.”

Michael Biehn - Bob Hargrove
David Caruso - David Corelli

“Why don't you go screw her and talk to yourself? Better yet, go talk to her and screw yourself!”

Michelle Nicastro - Darlene

“- Llug: Want to breed?
- Madmartigan: Tempting, but no.”

Ron Tarr - Llug
Val Kilmer - Madmartigan

“- DiMucci: You got something going with Paulette?
- Nogerelli: Let's just say I'm giving her therapy for her disease.
- DiMucci: Which disease?
- Nogerelli: Nymphomania.”
Peter Frechette - DiMucci
Adrian Zmed - Nogerelli

“- Sex Shop Salesman: Okay, your vibrators start at $10.95 and go up. We've got the Salami, Man-o'-War and... Alien.
- Paul Bland: Just give me the cheapest one.
- Sex Shop Salesman: Wait a minute. There's nothing cheap about my store. You mean inexpensive don't you?”
John Paragon - Sex Shop Salesman
Paul Bartel - Paul Bland

“- Francis Fitzpatrick: Well, for one thing, I don't like the fact that you have sex with a geriatric.
- Heather: Well, how do you think I feel about you going home and seeing your wife every night?
- Francis Fitzpatrick: I haven't had sex with my wife in months.
- Heather: Well, I don't know if that is such a good idea, Francis. Clearly you need...” (continue)(continue reading)

Michael McGlone - Francis Fitzpatrick
Cameron Diaz - Heather

“- Nick Beam: You shot me!
- Terrance Paul Davidson: I said I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to. The gun just went off. You know I have that same trouble in bed. Well, rarely. Every once in a gray while.”
Tim Robbins - Nick Beam
Martin Lawrence - Terrance Paul Davidson

“- Alyssa Jones: Fucking is not limited to penetration, Banky. For me it describes any sex, when it's not totally about love. I don't love Kim, but I'll fuck her. I'm sure you don't love every girl you sleep with.
- Banky Edwards: Some of them I downright loathe.”
Joey Lauren Adams - Alyssa Jones
Jason Lee - Banky Edwards