Stupidity quotes

“Are you retarded? It's not a rhetorical question. Are you retarded?”

Terence Stamp - Jack Taylor

“Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway.”

Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot

“- Edmund Bertram: Oh, don't be an imbecile.
- Fanny Price: Oh, but imbecility in women is a great enhancement to their personal charms.
- Edmund Bertram: Fanny, you're being irrational.
- Fanny Price: Yet another adornment. I must be ravishing.”
Jonny Lee Miller - Edmund Bertram
Frances O'Connor - Fanny Price

“So there's me and Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don't wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bullshit.”
Kevin Patrick Smith - Silent Bob

“- Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: I'm here to try out my sea legs.
- Forrest Gump: But you ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dan.
- Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Yes... yes, I know that. You wrote me a letter, you idiot!”
Gary Sinise - Lieutenant Dan Taylor
Tom Hanks - Forrest Gump

“I'm gonna be naughty! I'm gonna be a naughty vampire god!”
Donal Logue - Quinn

“My brother's in a wheel chair because of a freak accident as a kid. One day we were playing touch football and he fell off the roof.”
Shawn Hatosy - Tim Dunphy

“Oh, do stop following me around. You're making my dog very nervous. He detests the smell of stupidity.”

Glenda May Jackson - Isobel von Schmidt

“- Gas Station Attendant: Do you know you got stuff all over your face?
- Dr. Tart: Huh?
- Gas Station Attendant: You got stuff all over your face.
- Inspector Winship: He's oiling his brain.”
Robert V. Barron - Gas Station Attendant
Tim Conway - Dr. Tart
Don Knotts - Inspector Winship

“- Spanky: How's the toothache, bub?
- Alfalfa: Uh, dentist pulled my wisdom teeth.
- Spanky: So that explains why you're acting so stupid.”
Trevis Tedford - Spanky
Bug Hall - Alfalfa

“- Sgt. Martin 'Marty' Wellborn: Am I a man dreaming I'm a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?
- Sgt. Aloysius 'Al' Mackey: You're a freaking idiot! That's what you are.”
John Lithgow - Sgt. Martin 'Marty' Wellborn
James Garner - Sgt. Aloysius 'Al' Mackey

“Can't believe they're my blood. I.Q. of sloths and the manners of banshees. He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker. He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen, and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts. As for the tots, they're twits.”
Al Pacino - Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade

- William "Billy" Tepper: You're fuckin' morons. You know that, don't you? You're fuckin' morons.
- Ricardo Montoya: That's why we hang with you, Billy.
Sean Astin - Billy Tepper
George Perez - Ricardo Montoya

“- Hilary O'Neil: I told Estelle you have a terminal disease.
- Victor Geddes: What?
- Hilary O'Neil: Assholeitis.”
Julia Roberts - Hilary O'Neil
Campbell Scott - Victor Geddes

“- Assistant Mechanic: Never heard of no one so shit-all stupid as you drivin' off that road. You musta got manure for your brains.
- Clark Griswold: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town.”
John Diehl - Assistant Mechanic
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

Today the president closed the nation's last remaining submarine base at Groton, Connecticut. When asked why he had made the startling decision the president responded, "Those funny little black ships just keep sinking anyway".
Jim Hess - TV Reporter

- Gay Perry: Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
- Harry Lockhart: A picture of me?
- Gay Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!
Val Kilmer - Gay Perry
Robert Downey Jr. - Harry Lockhart

“A halfwit is a person who spends half their time trying to be witty.”

Bonita Granville - Nancy Drew

“Have you come across a bigger shithead than my stepfather?”
Jason Ritter - Martin Brockett

“Diamonds are supposed to be colorless! You go out and buy a colored diamond for a girl you're not even seeing, man, you must be eating retard sandwiches again.”

Matt Dillon - Tommy 'Birdman' Rowland

“- Sweet Daddy Dee: Why do you do what you do?
- Jeff Dunham: Why? Because I enjoy it and it's the best way I know to make money.
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the ho!
- Jeff Dunham: Wait a minute, what if I said I do it only because I enjoy it?
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the dumb ho. Ha ha!”
Jeff Dunham - Sweet Daddy Dee
Jeff Dunham - Himself

“Mr. Parris, you are a brainless man!”
Paul Scofield - Judge Thomas Danforth

“No wonder dinosaurs are extinct: big heads, small brains.”
Norman D. Golden II - Devon Butler

“- Aunt Sofia: You still want to kill people?
- Mitch: Na, they're too stupid.
- Aunt Sofia: You're telling me - your grandfather's marrying the Bermuda Triangle!”
Gina DeAngeles - Aunt Sofia
Keith Coogan - Mitch

“- Janis Ian: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
- Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.”
Lizzy Caplan - Janis Ian
Daniel Franzese - Damian