Stupidity quotes

This place has a sign hanging over the urinal that says “Don't eat the big white mint”.
Sam Elliott - Wade Garrett

“They must think we're crazy. They think we're dumb niggers, so we need some dumb rules.”

Heavy D - Peaches

“It could be raining brains and you wouldn't get wet.”
Stephen Caffrey - Randy Riskin

“- Princess Bala: I've been kidnapped by the village idiot.
- Z: Who's the bigger idiot? The idiot, or the idiot who gets kidnapped by the idiot?”
Sharon Stone - Princess Bala
Woody Allen - Z

“- The Priest: Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
- Paul Smecker: No, they would never do that. Well, the two Irish guys wouldn't, the Italian guy... he might, he's kind of an idiot.”

Jimmy Tingle - The Priest
Willem Dafoe - Paul Smecker

“I'm proud to recall that at no time at all and with no other recourses but my own resources, with firm application and determination... I made a fool of myself!”

Danny Kaye - Hubert Hawkins

Never use the word "lovely" darling. It's the mark of the jerk.
Lauren Bacall - Lillian Brooks

“- Frank: What are you looking for, a key?
- Roz: No, I'm lookin' for your brain.”
Denis Colin Leary - Francis 'Frank' O'Brien
Sandra Bullock - Roz

“- Rover Dangerfield: Where's Flappy?
- Queenie: Carmine fired him. He couldn't remember the routines.
- Rover Dangerfield: I saw that coming. Flappy was dumb. He used to walk backwards and wag his head. I mean dumb! Carmine taught him to sit, he forgot how to stand! And when Carmine paper-trained him, that was something. He went right on the...” (continue)(continue reading)
Rodney Dangerfield - Rover Dangerfield

“You're not smart enough to know where your dick is!”

Marlon Brando - Max

“- Dr. Claw: Dump this idiot in the junkyard.
- Sikes: Yes, boss.
- Dr. Claw: Oh, no, not that idiot, this one.
- Sikes: I wish you'd be specific, we got an awful lot of idiots around here.”

Rupert Everett - Sanford Scolex
Mike Hagerty - Sikes

“- Tally Atwater: He's so stupid!
- Warren Justice: He's an anchorman.”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Tally Atwater
Robert Redford - Warren Justice

“I may not be crazy, but I'm stupid.”
Sylvester Stallone - Jim Rainbo

“You let that guy turn us into clowns tonight. We were always small time, but we were never clowns.”
Jeff Bridges - Jack Baker

“Your fears, they make you foolish. Go to her, Jack.”

Avner Eisenberg - Jewel

“- Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant. The truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
- Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
- Bill: Ted, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even...” (continue)(continue reading)
Alex Winter - Bill S. Preston
Keanu Reeves - Ted 'Theodore' Logan

“And you know for you kids out there who are thinkin' about smokin', don't start. And if you started, stop. Smokin' don't make you look tough kids. It makes you look stupid. If you gotta put something in your mouth, make it a stick of chewing gum. Sure, that’s what Johnny does.”
Michael Keaton - Johnny Dangerously

I know a guy who walks into a bank with a little glass bottle. He tells everyone it's nitroglycerine. He scores some money off the teller, walks out. On his way out, the bottle breaks, he slips on it and knocks himself out. The "nitro" was Canola oil. I know more fucked-up bank robbers than ones who know what they're doing. I doubt if one in... (continue)(continue reading)
George Clooney - Jack Foley

“Gimme the good old days when a pair of boobs were a couple of dumb guys.”
Jackie Gleason - Buford T. Justice

“- Parker: How ya doin'?
- Kane: Terrific. Next silly question?”

Yaphet Kotto - Parker
Sir John Hurt - Kane

“- Sir August de Winter: A man with an umbrella is a man praying for rain.
- John Steed: And a man without one is a fool.”
Sir Sean Connery - Sir August de Wynter
Ralph Fiennes - John Steed

“I am ashamed. I am ashamed of being young I am ashamed of being stupid.”
Adrienne Shelly - Maria Coughlin

“You know why they call you Goon? Because you're retarded. And you're ugly. You're an ugly retard. And they call you Goon because you're ugly and retarded. And you'll always be Goon... Goon, Goon, Goon. And that's what I'm gonna call you for the rest of your life, is Goon. Goon, Goon, Goon, Goon, okay? So fuck you.”

Vincent Gallo - Billy Brown

“- Serendipity: I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
- Bethany: Nineteen?
- Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.”
Salma Hayek - Serendipity
Linda Fiorentino - Bethany

“There's a point beyond which obstinance becomes stupidity.”
Leigh Lawson - Alec d'Urberville