Theft quotes

“- Harry Lime: What store is going to make the most cash on Christmas Eve that nobody's gonna think to rob?
- Marv Merchants: Candy stores!
- Harry Lime: Nine year-olds rob candy stores, Marv.”
Joe Pesci - Harry Lime
Daniel Stern - Marv Merchants

“- Teenager: Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Why? Did you steal the car?
- Teenager: I sure did.
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law.”
David W. Harper - Teenager
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“Why don't you leave the poor Arabs alone? Why don't you give them back the land you stole from them?”

Diane Keaton - Charlie

“- Miracle Max: It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
- Inigo Montoya: What's that?
- Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.”
Billy Crystal - Miracle Max
Mandy Patinkin - Inigo Montoya

“- Freb: The corner of Wiltern and Wetherley... Tumbler messed up, he said the Porsche should be at the corner of Wiltern and Wetherly.
- Kip Raines: There it is.
- Mirror Man: You're bullshitting me, right? 9024 Wiltern?
- Kip Raines: I gotta get my tool.
- Mirror Man: Kip! He ain't bullshitting, man!
[Kip opens the boot, retrieves half a...” (continue)(continue reading)

James Duval - Freb
Giovanni Ribisi - Kip Raines
T.J. Cross - Mirror Man

“- Brian Costello: Did you leave the vehicle unlocked?
- Nora McPhee: I just told you they broke into it last month. The locks didn't work.
- Brian Costello: On each side of the vehicle?
- Nora McPhee: Why do you keep calling it a vehicle, it's hardly even a car.
- Brian Costello: Don't you watch TV? We all talk like that.”

Donald Sutherland - Brian Costello
Marsha Mason - Nora McPhee

“- Anna Baragli: He's definitely gonna steal the Codex. I can feel it. I'm not sure when.
- Cardinal: Attempt to steal, you mean. The vanity in this man Hudson Hawk! The Vatican has foiled the advances of pirates and terrorists. We will not lie down for some schmuck from New Jersey.”
Andie MacDowell - Anna Baragli
Leonardo Cimino - Cardinal

“- Donny Astricky: How did you get this car?
- Freb: Actually, the keys were in it.”

Chi McBride - Donny Astricky
James Duval - Freb

“Bother burglary and everything to do with it!”
Orson Bean - Bilbo

“- Roger: What's the problem, officer?
- Officer at Police Dock: We caught your friends here stealing company gasoline.
- Roger: What do you mean, friends?
- Stephen: They know, Rog. They're running too.
- Officer at Police Dock: Now it would be crazy to start shooting at each other.
- Roger: It sure would.”
Scott H. Reiniger - Roger
Joseph Pilato - Officer at Police Dock
David Emge - Stephen

“- Billy Hayes: What's Jimmy's story? Why is he in here? Hash?
- Erich: No. He was caught stealing from a mosque. That is also a heavy crime here in Turkey.
- Billy Hayes: What did he steal?
- Erich: Two candle sticks.”
Brad Davis - Billy Hayes
Norbert Weisser - Erich

“Do you know how many times a week I go without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Y'know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind, because I'm too torqued up to say no.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Farmer Ted

“San Diego has a big carjacking problem. They bump you, and when you stop, they mutilate you and take your car.”
George Segal - Ed Coplin

“- Tyrone: I don't want that dog dribbling on my seats.
- Vinny: Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.”
Ade - Tyrone
Robbie Gee - Vinny

“- Allison Reynolds: Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birth date's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.
- Andrew Clark: Wow. Are you psychic?
- Allison Reynolds: No.
- Brian Johnson: Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?
- Allison Reynolds: I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ally Sheedy - Allison Reynolds
Emilio Estevez - Andrew Clark
Anthony Michael Hall - Brian Johnson

“- Ron White: Hi, I'm Ron White. Your sister sent you a cake. You're not gonna belive this, but a little old lady just robbed me!
- Samantha: Could you run that by me again?
- Ron White: A little old lady armed with a big gun held me up!”
Caitlyn Jenner - Ron White
Valerie Perrine - Samantha

“They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!”
James Widdoes - Robert Hoover

“- Debbi: Duke, let's go do some crimes.
- Duke: Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay.”
Jennifer Balgobin - Debbi
Dick Rude - Duke

“- Jake: Niente. Kids must've cleaned him out.
- Mama Fratelli: Sure, right before they ate him!
- Francis: Stupid.”

Robert Davi - Jake
Anne Ramsey - Mama Fratelli
Joe Pantoliano - Francis

“- Sgt. Taggart: Nah, that's alright. You keep it as a souvenir.
- Axel Foley: I already have three of 'em in my bag.”

John Ashton - Sgt. Taggart
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

I was first in my class at Princeton, I have an I.Q. of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his "Brief History of Time"…from my fourth grade paper.
Kelly Nyks - Arrogant Aaron

“I'll call you on Monday and we'll go shopping. Anything we can't buy, we'll make. Anything we can't make, we'll steal!”

Beverly D'Angelo - Patsy Cline

“You don't know. Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get me a bath. Then I'm gonna get drunk. Then I'm gonna catch me a whore with great big tits. Then I'm gonna get drunk again. Then I'm gonna rob that Wells Fargo office and get me my money back, you dumb-ass Jew!”

Harrison Ford - Tommy

“- Vincent: Do you want to know why we left New York? I robbed this old lady who lived next door to us.
- Roseanne: You did?
- Vincent: Yeah. Smashed up a bunch of stuff, got caught. They said I was walking the halls like a damaged little fucker.
- Roseanne: I think you still are.”
Vincent Kartheiser - Vincent
Monica Keena - Roseanne Skolnick

“Well, now, I've always believed that done properly, armed robbery doesn't have to be a totally unpleasant experience.”
Brad Pitt - J.D.