Theft quotes

“This is right, my dear. I stole something, I did. I stole happiness with you. I don't mind paying.”

Liam Neeson - Valjean

“A stick-up guy I used to know a long time ago told me that the most important thing is to put fear into everybody right away. So when we get in there, let me do all the talking.”

George Burns - Joe

“- Jessica Rabbit: We're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours.
- Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did.”
Kathleen Turner - Jessica Rabbit
Bob Hoskins - Eddie Valiant

“That bimbo stole my husband! They drank their lover's wine in glasses I stood in line to buy!”
Shelley Lee Long - Lucy Van Patten Brodsky

“- Stevo: When did you kill?
- Mark: In Miami I shot two men. Why do you think I'm here? 'Cause I love this place? 'Salt Lake Shitty'? They tried to rob me, so I shot them in the head. You have to put at least one bullet in the head just to make sure.”
Matthew Lillard - Stevo
Til Schweiger - Mark

“- Mr. Levitt: What charity are you with? [Killer Santa pulles out a gun] What are you doing that for?
- Killer Santa: I'm holding you up, asshole, put the money in the bag.
- Mr. Levitt: So it's not about phony sentiment, lot of it is genuine greed.”
Eric Hart - Mr. Levitt (Storekeeper)
Charles Dierkop - Killer Santa

“- Thelma: Drive, Louise! Drive! Drive the car! Come on. Go! Go! Go go go go go!
- Louise: What happened?
[Thelma holds up money]
- Louise: You robbed the store? You robbed the goddamn store?
- Thelma: Well, we needed the money.”
Geena Davis - Thelma
Susan Sarandon - Louise

“- Bernie: I stole it
- Danny: You did not.
- Bernie: Oh, that's great, Dan. I tell you I'm a thief and you call me a liar.”
Jim Belushi - Bernie
Rob Lowe - Danny

“- Peter: Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
- Samir: Of course.
- Michael Bolton: Agreed.
- Lawrence: [from the next apartment through the wall] Don't worry, man. I won't tell anyone either.”

Ron Livingston - Peter
Ajay Naidu - Samir
David Herman - Michael Bolton
Diedrich Bader - Lawrence

“- Ralph Agee: I was in that taxi cab but I didn't rob it, it was my cousin, he's crazy.
- Arthur Kirkland: What's his name?
- Ralph Agee: I don't know... I mean he lives out in Hillsberry...
- Arthur Kirkland: You don't know your cousin's name?”
Robert Christian - Ralph Agee
Al Pacino - Arthur Kirkland

“Nobody steals from me. Nobody.”
Louis Mandylor - Riggi

“- Louise: What're we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that. There's no such thing as justifiable robbery.
- Thelma: All right, Louise!
[sees a white cowboy hat in the backseat]
- Thelma: Where'd you get this?
- Louise: Stole it.”
Susan Sarandon - Louise
Geena Davis - Thelma

“I may drink just a little bit too much and play with the girls a little bit and steal a little bit; but, you're out of your god damn mind if you think I'm gonna kill General Patton!”
Patrick McGoohan - Col. Mike McCauley

“- Younger Cop: Was there anything of value in the car?
- The Dude: Yeah... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was my briefcase.
- Younger Cop: In the briefcase?
- The Dude: Papers, you know... my papers, business papers.
- Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?
- The Dude: I'm unemployed.”
Christian Clemenson - Younger Cop
Jeff Bridges - The Dude

“Feels like we're living two lives. One before the robbery and one after.”
George Burns - Joe

“- Nick Conklin: A couple of guys I used to work with in the department took some money from some drug dealers. No big deal.
- Matsumoto Masahiro: They stole?
- Nick Conklin: They liberated funds.
- Matsumoto Masahiro: Theft is theft. There is no gray area.
- Nick Conklin: Hey Matsu, New York is one big gray area.”
Michael Douglas - Nick Conklin
Ken Takakura - Matsumoto Masahiro

“- Max Dembo: You know what I'd like to do... Why don't you run me by that hotel we'll check it out.
- Mickey: Yeah, well I'll drive you out there but I'm not gonna rob it for you, you have to do that yourself. I got stomach trouble... no guts.”
Dustin Hoffman - Max Dembo
Edward Bunker - Mickey

“- Geppetto: Excuse me, but haven't you two got a pushcart to rob?
- Volpe: We've already done that.”
Martin Landau - Geppetto
Rob Schneider - Volpe

“When we were kids I borrowed some things. It was never ever theft! In each case I either told you... or was about to.”

Chris Eigeman - Fred Boynton

“- Nikki Finn: C'mon Lounde, haven't you ever done anything you were proud of?
- Louden Trott: Well, I used to be really good at fencing.
- Nikki Finn: See? There you go. I knew ya' had it in ya'.
- Louden Trott: Yeah, but of course my father would never come watch me.
- Nikki Finn: Why would your father wanna watch you turn over stolen goods?...” (continue)(continue reading)
Madonna - Nikki Finn
Griffin Dunne - Loudon Trott

“- Liceman: What did I tell you I'd do if I ever caught you stealing again?
- Hash: You said you'd rip my balls off, sir.
- Liceman: Say it again!
- Hash: You said you'd rip my balls off, sir.
- Liceman: Say it again!
- Hash: You said you'd rip my balls off, sir.”
Ron Leibman - Major Vaughn Liceman
Tommy Citera - Hash

“- Chet: And by the way, don't try to steal any of our stuff on your way out!
- Kate: Stuff? What stuff is there to steal?
- Connie: Oh, we got stuff!
- Kate: You're a louse!
- Connie: Well, why don't you go find yourself a spin cycle!
- Chet: Yeah, go find yourself a spin cycle! [turning to Connie] What the hell does that mean?”

John Candy - Chet Ripley
Annette Bening - Kate Craig
Stephanie Faracy - Connie Ripley

“For me, stealing's always been a lot like sex. Two people who want the same thing: they get in a room, they talk about it. They start to plan. It's kind of like flirting. It's kind of like foreplay, 'cause the more they talk about it, the wetter they get. The only difference is, I can fuck someone I've just met. But to steal? I need to know...” (continue)(continue reading)
Gina Gershon - Corky

“- Jack Traven: Stop! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!
- Jaguar Owner: Hey man, this is my car, I own this car, it's not stolen.
- Jack Traven: [pulls gun out and points it at him] It is now. Move over.”
Keanu Reeves - Jack Traven
Glenn Plummer - Jaguar Owner

“- Reggie Hammond: They blew up my car! They blew up my car!
- Jack Cates: It's a damn shame.
- Reggie Hammond: They blew up my car and all you have to say is it's a damn shame?
- Jack Cates: No car, no money, you're having a bad day!”
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond
Nick Nolte - Jack Cates