Eddie Murphy movie quotes

“- Dr. John Dolittle: It's not something you should be ashamed of. It happens to most men occasionally. You're probably under a lot of pressure.
- Female Pigeon: He's not under pressure. He's not attracted to me, because I'm just a pigeon. He's a self-hating pigeon.”

Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle
Julie Kavner - Female Pigeon

“This is the cleanest and nicest police car I've ever been in in my life. This thing's nicer than my apartment.”
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“A black dude who plays a slave that gets his ass whipped gets the nomination, a white guy who plays an idiot gets the Oscar. I need to play a retarded slave, then I'll get the Oscar.”
Eddie Murphy - Kit Ramsey

“- Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
- Donkey: Example?
- Shrek: Example... ogres are like onions!
- Donkey: They stink?”
Mike Myers - Shrek
Eddie Murphy - Donkey

“- Princess Fiona: My groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
- Shrek: Let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in short supply.
- Donkey: Though there are those who think little of him!”
Cameron Diaz - Princess Fiona
Mike Myers - Shrek
Eddie Murphy - Donkey

“- Kee Nang: She's over 300 years old.
- Chandler Jarrell: How do you manage something like that?
- Kee Nang: One of her ancestors was raped by a dragon.
- Chandler Jarrell: Does that happen a lot where you come from?”
Charlotte Lewis - Kee Nang
Eddie Murphy - Chandler Jarrell

“- Jack Cates: I'm a cop, you're a crook.
- Reggie Hammond: Oh, get the fuck outta here! Just 'cause I'm a convict, every thin' that comes outta my mouth is a god damn lie?
- Jack Cates: That's right.”
Nick Nolte - Jack Cates
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond

“Viagra don't work for me. I've been taking 'em like M&Ms.”
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump

“My eyes still hurt from reading that movie.”

Eddie Murphy - Insp. Scott Roper

“There's something about the icecream truck that makes kids lose it. And they can hear that shit from ten blocks away. They don't hear their mothers calling but they hear that motherfucking icecream truck.”
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“I'm 57 and 0 baby.”
Eddie Murphy - Kelly

“- Dr. John Dolittle: Hey, give me a break. I saved your life.
- Rat #1: That's yesterday's news. Take a hike. You want gratitude? Get a hamster!”
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle
Reni Santoni - Rat #1

“- Prince Akeem: Sir, where can one go to find nice women here?
- Clarence: You gotta get out and look, they ain't just gonna fall on your lap.
- Semmi: We've been to every bar in Queens.
- Clarence: Well, that's where you messed up, son, you can't go to no bar to find a nice woman. You gotta go to a nice place, a quiet place like a library,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eddie Murphy - Prince Akeem
Eddie Murphy - Clarence
Arsenio Hall - Semmi

“Icecream man always drove extra blocks away. And I know he's seen us and shit, but I think he just be in the car with his friends and say: Watch me how fast I make these motherfuckers run.”
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“I'm not saying, drop everything and let the world come to a grinding halt. I'm saying that you could become a seeker. You could be loving more. You could be taking some chances. You could be living more. You could be spending more time with your family. You could be getting in touch with the part of you that lives instead of fears; the part of...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eddie Murphy - G'

- Donkey: What's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway?
- Shrek: Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go "Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!". They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
Eddie Murphy - Donkey
Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Shrek: Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends!
- Donkey: Wow! Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest!”
Mike Myers - Shrek
Eddie Murphy - Donkey

“- Kelly: Hey, what's this? It looks like a sock.
- Alex: It's a secret spy mask, put it on.”
Eddie Murphy - Kelly
Owen Wilson - Alex

“Only a man whose heart is pure can wield the knife, and only a man whose ass is narrow can get down these steps.”
Eddie Murphy - Chandler Jarrell

“When you've been in prison as long as I have, you remember every story about pussy you ever heard.”
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond

“Go call Arnold and Sly, and Jackie Chan and Van Damme, and tell them the spearchucker said hello!”
Eddie Murphy - Kit Ramsey

“- 'G' Makeup Artist: I've made you up to look like you have no make-up on at all.
- G: That's a metaphysics I didn't even know existed.”
Toy Van Lierop - G' Makeup Artist
Eddie Murphy - G'

“Hey bird! Did you just see a little Hare-Krishna midget in the tree, floatin’… or is it me?”
Eddie Murphy - Chandler Jarrell

“Listen, I know what I like, and I know you know what I like, because you were trained to know what I like, but I would like to know, what do you like?”

Eddie Murphy - Prince Akeem

“A brother's dick is too big, so it'll fuck up his balance... Every time you see a brother in a wheelchair, he ain't always crippled.”
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy