Eddie Murphy movie quotes

“What happened to the good old days where people would just grow pot in their garages?”

Eddie Murphy - Officer Trey Sellars

Brothers act like they couldn't have been slaves back 200 years ago. It's like the motherfuckers liked that shit. "I whish I was a slave, I would fuck somebody up! Shit, tell me to bale some motherfucking cotton! I would been on the street and shit, would've come up and say, 'Ay, yo, nigger, bale this cotton!'. I would say, 'Suck my dick, massa'!".
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“All right, knock this shit off! I have been having a very bad day! I just got out of jail this morning! Already i've been shot at, i was on a bus that flipped over seventeen times, bitch tried to stab me in the bathroom, and somebody blew up my Porsche! I am in a bad goddamn mood!”
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond

“- Mama Klump: Oh my goodness! Is there a fire?
- Fireman Stripper: Yes, ma'am. I'm afraid there is.
- Mama Klump: I don't smell no smoke.
- Fireman Stripper: There's a fire in my pants, and it's getting muy caliente!”

Eddie Murphy - Mama Klump
George King - Fireman Stripper

“You're gonna be the nine-toes-havingest-limpingest bitch in Harlem if you don't stop fucking with me. Now put the razor away.”
Eddie Murphy - Quick

“- Clarence: I met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. one time.
- Sweets: Man, you lyin'. You ain't never met no Martin Luther the King.”
Eddie Murphy - Clarence

“Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.”

Eddie Murphy - Donkey

“- Papa Klump: What I do in my bedroom is my business, you understand that?
- Granny Klump: The only thing you do in your bedroom is pull the lint off your scrotum!”
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump
Eddie Murphy - Granny Klump

“I don't know why everyone's tryin' to lose weight in the first place! Ain't everybody supposed to be the same size, we're supposed to be all different. Big, small, medium, midgets, you're supposed to have all that. Everyone wants to be the same size now, like that Oprah Winfrey; she went and lost her weight, when nothing was wrong with her, she...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump

“- Donkey: You're so wrapped up in layers onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!
- Shrek: Go away!
- Donkey: See? There you are, doing it again! Just like you did to Fiona! All she ever did was like you maybe, even love you!”
Eddie Murphy - Donkey
Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Becca: We need more learning about things!
- Charlie Hinton: More learning about things?
- Becca: Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds!”
Hailey Noelle Johnson - Becca
Eddie Murphy - Charlie Hinton

“- Axel Foley: Yo, man! What's that for?
- Billy Rosewood: After the shootout at the club, I figured I needed more firepower.
- Axel Foley: Yo man, we gotta talk, seriously. Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood? Dirty Rosewood?”

Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley
Judge Reinhold - Billy Rosewood

“- Serge: Donny, run and tell Miss Summers that, uh, Mister Achmed Foley is here to see her.
- Axel Foley: No, Axel Foley. Axel.
- Serge: Achnell? Achwell.
- Axel Foley: Axel.
- Serge: Foley is here to see her, he's an old acquaintance.”

Bronson Pinchot - Serge
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“- Elijah Hawkins: My niece tells me you're not half as slimy as I thought. That puts you somewhere between a lizard and a toad. Ha ha. Quite a step up, huh?
- Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Thank you very much. Forgive me for staring. I don't know how I missed the family resemblance. She's you in a skirt.”

Charles S. Dutton - Elijah Hawkins
Eddie Murphy - Thomas Jefferson Johnson

- Granny Klump: Cletus, have you ever heard the expression "mercy hump"?
- Papa Klump: Say what?
- Granny Klump: 'Cause that's what you've been getting all these years - mercy humps.
Eddie Murphy - Granny Klump
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump

“The white man gets all the best catchphrases!”
Eddie Murphy - Kit Ramsey

“- Billy Ray Valentine: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
- Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.”

Eddie Murphy - Billy Ray Valentine
Ralph Bellamy - Randolph Duke

“The Cotton Club in Manhattan? Many times, man, I damn near lived in the Cotton Club. I tell you, the Cotton Club is all right. But it ain't got nothin' on The Boom Boom Room. If you ever go to New York, go to Ray's Boom Boom Room.”
Eddie Murphy - Rayford Gibson

“- Torchy's Patron: What kind of cop are you?
- Reggie Hammond: You know what I am? I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge which means I got permission to kick your fuckin' ass whenever I feel like it!”
Nick Dimitri - Torchy's Patron
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond

My mother ran in the bathroom, see my big brother sitting in the bathroom with a piece of shit in his hand in the tub, I was laying in the bottom of the water with blood gushing out my eye, G.I. Joe up my ass. My mother's like, "What the fuck going on in here?".
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“I want a woman that will arouse my intellect as well as my loins.”
Eddie Murphy - Prince Akeem

“- Papa Klump: What's wrong with you, woman? Don't you wanna be young?
- Mama Klump: No, Cletus, I don't wanna be young! Cletus, we are supposed to be who we are and I'm just fine with who I am! But obviously what you're trying to say is that you're just tired of the fat old woman that you got married to!”
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump
Eddie Murphy - Mama Klump

“- Mulan: Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one.
- Mushu: So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky. Well, myself, I kinda like that corn chip smell.”
Ming-Na Wen - Mulan
Eddie Murphy - Mushu

“That was really scary. If you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath will certainly get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something cause your breath stinks!”

Eddie Murphy - Donkey

“- Jenny Summers: I remember you used to drive that crappy blue Chevy Nova.
[they both chuckle]
- Jenny Summers: What are you driving now?
- Axel Foley: Same crappy blue Chevy Nova.”
Lisa Eilbacher - Jenny Summers
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley