Eddie Murphy movie quotes

- Jack Cates: Hey, I can read a police file, shit-head. Quit calling me "Jack".
- Reggie Hammond: It's just an expression, all right? I don't mean nothin' by it.
- Jack Cates: I don't give a damn. It happens to be my name.
- Reggie Hammond: What the hell you complainin' for? At least nobody callin' you "shit-head".
Nick Nolte - Jack Cates
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond

“- Reggie Hammond: Not a very popular place with the brothers.
- Jack Cates: My kinda place. I always liked country boys. They're sure as hell don't like you.”

Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond
Nick Nolte - Jack Cates

Bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. And the bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?". And the rabbit says, "No". So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“- Rodney: I'm getting whisker-whipped up here! Hey, this is cruel to animals!
- Dr. John Dolittle: One more word, and I'm letting you out! I'll leave you in the wild! With the real animals! See how much talk you do when squirrels are kicking your ass in!
- Rodney: Fine, then I'll just sing!”

Chris Rock - Rodney
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle

“- Blaine: Who would have ever thought you would end up in a mental institution? Number one in our medical school class. Not that I'm jealous, John. Someone had to finish first.
- Dr. John Dolittle: Someone had to finish last, too.”

Paul Giamatti - Blaine
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle

“- Jacqueline: Hey, you're not getting serious on me, are you?
- Marcus: What are you talking about? Am I getting serious? What is that?
- Jacqueline: You know, do you want this to grow into a relationship where we're together all the time? God. Stuff like that. Are you?”
Robin Givens - Jacqueline
Eddie Murphy - Marcus

“- Reggie Hammond: Man, you loaded here. What the fuck's this?
- Torchy's Patron: Tax refund!
- Reggie Hammond: Bullshit! You're too fuckin' stupid to have a job!”

Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond
Nick Dimitri - Torchy's Patron

“- Claude Banks: Why you got to say nasty shit, Ray?
- Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I'm a nasty motherfucker.”
Martin Lawrence - Claude Banks
Eddie Murphy - Rayford Gibson

“- Donkey: Man, that ain't nothing but a bunch of little dots.
- Shrek: You know, Donkey, things are more than what they see.”

Eddie Murphy - Donkey
Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Sherman Klump: Buddy Love, I am sick and tired, of your S-H...
- Dean Richmond: I.
- Sherman Klump: Thank you. T-E!
- Buddy Love: Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?”
Eddie Murphy - Sherman Klump
Larry Miller - Dean Richmond
Eddie Murphy - Buddy Love

“Oprah was a fox! She lost all that weight, head lookin' all big, skin hangin' all over. And Luther Vandross. Nigga used to be the black Pavarotti. Lost all that weight, lookin' all ashy. Oprah and Luther need to keep their asses one way, 'cause I'm confused.”
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump

“- Serge: [taking notice to Axel Foley's interest in the artwork] I see you look at this piece.
- Axel Foley: Yeah. I was wondering how much something like this went for.
- Serge: One hundred and thirty thousand dollar.
- Axel Foley: Get the fuck out of here!”
Bronson Pinchot - Serge
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“It's funny how you get used to certain things in life. You get used to being overweight. I know I did. You even get used to people making fun of you. Somewhere along the line, I got used to being alone. And I just don't want to be alone anymore.”
Eddie Murphy - Sherman Klump

In "The Amityville Horror", the ghost told them to get out of the house. White people stayed in there. Now that's a hint and a half for your ass. A ghost say get the fuck out, I would just tip the fuck out the door! Lou Walker looked in the toilet bowl, there was blood in the toilet. And said, "That's peculiar". I would've been in the house... (continue)(continue reading)
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows.”
Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond

“- Charisse Dolittle: What am I supposed to do without my cell phone?
- Dr. John Dolittle: Here's some stamps. Learn how to write a letter or something.”
Raven-Symoné - Charisse Dolittle
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle

“- Axel Foley: Wait a second, look. I just thought, that if there was a problem…
- Inspector Todd: Don't think, Axel! It makes my dick itch.”
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley
Gilbert R. Hill - Inspector Todd

“It's my house! You know it is. And if you don't like it, you get the fuck out! I don't give a fuck. I don't give cause I paid the motherfuckin' bills in this motherfucker. And hey, kiss my ass if you don't like it! Yes! Yes, motherfucker, yes! Cause you know it is, know it is? Im drunk, so what?”

Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“- Axel: You got a fifty dollar bill?
- Jon Flint: I got a wife and three kids. I haven't seen a fifty in twelve years.”
Eddie Murphy - Det. Axel Foley
Héctor Elizondo - Jon Flint

“- Sgt. Taggart: Nah, that's alright. You keep it as a souvenir.
- Axel Foley: I already have three of 'em in my bag.”

John Ashton - Sgt. Taggart
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.”

Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“- Julius Jones: My pops always said the quickest way to a woman's heart - the church.
- Maximillian: It's actually through the ribcage, but that's a bit messy.”
Kadeem Hardison - Julius Jones
Eddie Murphy - Maximillian

“- Levine: They got fuckin' machine guns! I thought you said they had no guns!
- Axel: They must've changed their world view!”
Jon Tenney - Levine
Eddie Murphy - Det. Axel Foley

“- Thomas Jefferson Johnson: Y'all remember Willie Sutton?
- Van Dyke: My hero.
- Thomas Jefferson Johnson: What did he say when they asked him why he robbed banks?
- Van Dyke: 'Cause that's where the money is.”
Eddie Murphy - Thomas Jefferson Johnson
Sonny Jim Gaines - Van Dyke

“- Prince Akeem: So, you would share your bed, and your fortune, with a beautiful fool?
- Semmi: That is the way it has always been with men of power. It is tradition.”
Eddie Murphy - Prince Akeem
Arsenio Hall - Semmi