Jim Carrey movie quotes

“- Vincent Cadby: Something wrong, Mr. Ventura?
- Ace Ventura: Of course not. This is a lovely room of death.”

Simon Callow - Vincent Cadby
Jim Carrey - Ace Venura

“- Harry Dunne: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
- Lloyd Christmas: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.”
Jeff Daniels - Harry Dunne
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas

“- Wiploc: Finland is here?
- Valerie: Finland? No, this is the Valley. Finland is the capital of Norway. Gawd, you guys sure learn fast.”
Jim Carrey - Wiploc
Geena Davis - Valerie

“Saving Christmas is a lousy ending! Way too commercial.”
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“I didn't want to end up like him. I wanted to survive! You stand for a cause, you get mowed down. Look. Look! That's the real world. I want my goddamn life back, Adele...”

Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton

“Don't rush yourself! Sometimes anticipation can heighten the... pleasure.”

Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan

“- The Cable Guy: Wow, the old McNair place. Never thought they'd get the floors clean after what happened.
- Steven M. Kovacs: Why? What happened?
- The Cable Guy: They had a lot of cats.”
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy
Matthew Broderick - Steven M. Kovacs

“He says I'm a communist. In fact, this very moment, some grey little FBI guy, in a grey little FBI suit, is hunched over my screenplay, checking it, line by line, for the poisonous Marxist propaganda which surely lurks therein. Hope they check the spelling. I can always use help with that.”
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton

“- Dorian: Okay, Twinkle Toes. I want to know where my money is, and I want to know right now.
- The Mask: Okay... You've got 17.5% in T-bills amortized over the fiscal year, 8% in stocks and bonds. Carry the 9, divide by the Gross National Product... fortunately, funeral bouquets are deductible.”
Peter Greene - Dorian
Jim Carrey - Stanley Ipkiss

"Adele Louise Stanton has passed the State Bar Examination". Wow! Does this mean you're qualified to tend bar?

Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton

“- Charlie: Well, we can't be calling you Milky if your comin' with us, so what's your name?
- Whitey: Casper, but my friends call me Whitey.
- Charlie: Uh, okay.”

Jim Carrey - Charlie
Michael Bowman - Whitey

“All that I ask is that you do each and every little thing that pops into my head, while I enjoy the enormous fortune your parents left behind.”
Jim Carrey - Count Olaf

The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play "Mortal Kombat" with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Count Olaf: I must say, you are a gloomy looking bunch. Why so glum?
- Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died.
- Count Olaf: Ah yes, of course. How very, very awful.”
Jim Carrey - Count Olaf
Liam Aiken - Klaus

“- Joel Barish: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
- Clementine Kruczynski: But you will! You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.”
Jim Carrey - Joel Barish
Kate Winslet - Clementine Kruczynski

“- Mark Kendall: Look! I'm not there! Look! I swear I wasn't there a minute ago. It was that woman.
- Robin Pierce: The one who bit your buttons?
- Mark Kendall: I think she is a vampire and I think she has turned me into one.
- Robin Pierce: Turning you into a vampire?
- Mark Kendall: That's why I couldn't see myself. Vampires don't have a...” (continue)(continue reading)

Jim Carrey - Mark Kendall
Karen Kopins - Robin Pierce

“Are we like those bored couples you feel sorry for in restaurants? Are we the dining dead? I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.”

Jim Carrey - Joel Barish

“I think he'd probably tell you: the America represented in this room... is not the America he died defending.”

Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton

“How about that account? We have... checking, savings and checking, CDs, savings and CDs, checking and CDs, savings, checking, and CDs, T-bills, or we can just take all your money and throw it in a big mattress back there.”

Jim Carrey - Stanley Ipkiss

“- Hank: What are you staring at, fucker? You wanna start me up? Just open the choke and pull the cord, pal. I'm due for a seismic event and you're dancing on the fault line.
- Kid's Father: Hey, what is your problem, pal?
- Hank Evans: I got no beef with you. This is between me and the kid.”

Jim Carrey - Hank
Sean Gildea - Kid's Father

“- Grace Connelly: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
- Bruce Nolan: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.”
Jennifer Aniston - Grace Connelly
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan

“- Narrator: The Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
- Grinch: Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...
- Narrator: He thought.
- Grinch: …Means a little bit more.”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Narrator
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“- Charlie: So, Whitey, what happened to your family?
- Whitey: I killed them. I hacked them up with a hammer while they were asleep. Ma, Pa, Bro, Sis. She was awake, my sis. I was just released from prison on my 21st birthday. I wasn't ready to leave but they said I had to. Fucked up law, huh?”

Jim Carrey - Charlie
Michael Bowman - Whitey

“Nobody wants to play with me!”

Jim Carrey - Ace Venura

“- Fletcher Reede: Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me?
- Audrey Reede: No, I divorced you because I was mad at you.”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Maura Tierney - Audrey Reede