Jim Carrey movie quotes

“- Cindy Lou Who: Santa?
- Grinch: What?
- Cindy Lou Who: Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy, but I think he's actually kinda... sweet.
- Grinch: Sweet? You think he's sweet?
- Cindy Lou Who: Merry Christmas, Santa.
[goes upstairs]
- Grinch: Nice kid... bad judge of character.”

Taylor Momsen - Cindy Lou Who
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“- Steven M. Kovacs: You know, my brother is a speech therapist.
- The Cable Guy: Tho?”
Matthew Broderick - Steven M. Kovacs
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

- Lloyd Christmas: My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store.
- Mary Swanson: That's nice.
- Lloyd Christmas: I got worms!
- Mary Swanson: I beg your pardon?
- Lloyd Christmas: That's what we're gonna call it. "I Got Worms"! We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas
Lauren Holly - Mary Swanson

“Legs are a little rubbery after all that time sitting here. Why don't you roll me inside? We'll get the nurse take the catheter out of me. I wanna see if my lizard's still spitting straight.”
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas

“I'm not okay with a mediocre job. I'm not okay with a mediocre apartment. I'm not okay with a mediocre life!”
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan

“- Fulton Greenwall: Bumbawe Atuna... Bumbawe Atuna...
- Ace Ventura: Hi there. Nice to see ya. Bumblebee tuna. Bumblebee tuna!”
Ian McNeice - Fulton Greenwall
Jim Carrey - Ace Venura

“We must become invisible, travel silently, for there are forces that would seek to destroy us.”
Jim Carrey - Horton

“- Joel Barish: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
- Clementine Kruczynski: Try your best; maybe we can.”

Jim Carrey - Joel Barish
Kate Winslet - Clementine Kruczynski

“Time is just a counting system. Numbers with meaning attached to them.”
Jim Carrey - Walter Sparrow

“Say hello to my stinky little friend!
[lifts the skunk's tail]”

Jim Carrey - Ace Venura

“- Jane Harper: I went to this Botox Experiment, and I had a little accident... does it really look that bad?
- Dick Harper: No. Just... different.”
Téa Leoni - Jane Harper
Jim Carrey - Dick Harper

“- Truman Burbank: Who are you?
- Christof: I am the creator, of a television show that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions.
- Truman Burbank: Then who am I?
- Christof: You're the star.”
Jim Carrey - Truman Burbank
Ed Harris - Christof

“- Bruce Nolan: God doesn't take vacations. Does He?
- God: Did you ever hear of the dark ages?”

Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan
Morgan Freeman - God

“- Truman Burbank: Was nothing real?
- Christof: You were real. That's what made you so good to watch...”
Jim Carrey - Truman Burbank
Ed Harris - Christof

“God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but He'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.”
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan

Here's the bargain: you will help me steal production capital, so I can put a Box on every TV in town. So I can become Gotham's cleverest carbon-based life-form! And in return... is everybody paying attention? I will help you solve the greatest riddle of all... the mother of all riddles: "Who is Batman"?

Jim Carrey - Riddler

“- Violet: Dinner is served. Puttanesca.
- Count Olaf: What did you call me?
- Klaus: It's pasta... Pasta Puttanesca.”
Emily Browning - Violet
Jim Carrey - Count Olaf
Liam Aiken - Klaus

“- Bruce Nolan: Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that?
- God: Great... If you wanna be Miss America.”
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan
Morgan Freeman - God

“- Peter Appleton: Tell me again what a great guy Luke was, 'cause God I haven't heard that enough!
- Adele Stanton: He wouldn've stood up to them.
- Peter Appleton: Yeah well, he's not here... to vouch for that, is he? We have to take your word for it! And forgive me but everybody's memory of Luke is a little rose-colored in this town. Besides,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton
Laurie Holden - Adele Stanton

- The Cable Guy: When your love is truly giving, it will come back to you ten fold.
- Steven M. Kovacs: You're right. That's incredibly insightful.
- The Cable Guy: I know. It was Jerry Springer's final thought on "Friday's show".
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy
Matthew Broderick - Steven M. Kovacs

“- Hank: I hope we get to know each other better.
- Irene: Yeah, me too.
- Hank: Do you swallow?”
Jim Carrey - Hank
Renee Zellweger - Irene

“Can't make the scene if you don't have the green.”

Jim Carrey - Stanley Ipkiss

“- Fletcher Reede: You brought your kids to your divorce?
- Samantha Cole: Sympathy.
- Fletcher Reede: Well, it's working! I feel sorry for them already!”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Jennifer Tilly - Samantha Cole

“Women are a labyrinth, my friend. Can I be frank? I don't think you listen to her. I think you tell her what she wants to hear. She wants you to thirst for knowledge about who she is, all the complicated splendor that is women.”
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Harry Dunne: Boy, I sure wish I could have been there when she was little.
- Lloyd Christmas: Whatever. That's all water under the fridge now, Har. Think of the bright side. You're finally getting to meet her, and you never had to change those poopy diapers.
- Harry Dunne: That's called being a parent, Lloyd. Besides, I changed your poopy...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jeff Daniels - Harry Dunne
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas