Jim Carrey movie quotes

“Adele, I'm sorry the way things turned out. I never meant to hurt anyone, least of all you.”
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton

“- Cindy Lou Who: Your cheek's so...
- Grinch: I know. Hairy.
- Cindy Lou Who: No.
- Grinch: Greasy? Stinky? Do I have a zit?
- Cindy Lou Who: No. Warm.”

Taylor Momsen - Cindy Lou Who
Jim Carrey - Grinch

I learned the facts of life from watching "The Facts of Life"!
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Colonel Partington: Charlie, why didn't you take a vacation when Layla left?
- Charlie: Why... why would I? Wives leaves their husbands everyday in this country... It's no reason to short change the department... it's not like I had the flu!”
Robert Forster - Colonel Partington
Jim Carrey - Charlie

“- Ronald Camp: Who is he, a friend?
- Melissa Robinson: No, this is--this is my date. He's a lawyer.
- Ronald Camp: Well, does he have a name, or should I call him lawyer?
- Melissa Robinson: No, this is Ace. Um, Tom Ace.
- Ace Ventura: Tom Ace. Pleasure to meet you Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific. I was...” (continue)(continue reading)
Udo Kierr - Ronald Camp
Courteney Cox - Melissa Robinson
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura

“- Greta: He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
- Fletcher Reede: [picking up phone and shouting] Stop breaking the law, asshole!”
Anne Haney - Greta
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“- Charlie: Do you people take checks?
- Limo Driver: Say that again. Do we people take checks? You mean a black man?
- Charlie: No, no, no, no, God, no! Your company.
- Limo Driver: Don't give me that backtracking bullshit, that was a racist slur!”
Jim Carrey - Charlie
Tony Cox - Limo Driver

“I'd like two words on my tombstone: what if.”
Jim Carrey - Walter Sparrow

“- Irene: I never wanted to sleep with you, Hank! Okay, you tricked me!
- Hank: Yes, I tricked you. It was deceitful, it was disgusting and despicable. But just for once, see it from my side.
[shrugs]
- Hank: I was horny.”
Renee Zellweger - Irene
Jim Carrey - Hank

“It is good to see what someone with real talent can do when great opportunities are given to them.”
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan

“Great news: both my legs are broken so they can't take me right to jail.”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.”
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Grinch: Any calls?
- Grinch's Answering Machine: [computer voice] You have no messages.
- Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
- Grinch's Answering Machine: [Grinch's voice] If you utter so much as one syllable, I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.
- Grinch: Hmm hmm.”
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“- Ronald Camp: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately.
- Ace Ventura: Be sure that you do! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed!”
Udo Kerr - Ronald Camp
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura

“- Congressman Doyle: Are you asking this committe to believe that you attended the meeting of a communist organization because of a girl?
- Peter Appleton: Yes, sir... I'm sure that even a majority counselor like yourself has familiar with the concept of impressing a girl!”
Hal Holbrook - Congressman Doyle
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton

- Russ: Tell us what happened, man! Blow by beautiful blow! Did you undress her slowly? Like first, revealing big lucious "magoombas"?
- Jamie: Did she have any tattoos or scars or anything?
- Mark Kendall: I told you I don't remember! If you guys are so interested in my sexual failures, why don't you go have a few of your own?
Skip Lackey - Russ
Thomas Ballatore - Jamie
Jim Carrey - Mark Kendall

“Well, fuck my ozone.”

Jim Carrey - Hank

“Am I just eating because I'm bored?”

Jim Carrey - Grinch

“I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?”

Jim Carrey - Grinch

“Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience, then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.”
Jim Carrey - Adult Joe Wenteworth

“- Clementine Kruczynski: People have to share things.That's what intimacy is.
- Joel Barish: I'm sorry, my life isn't that interesting.
- Clementine Kruczynski: I want to read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or... love?”

Kate Winslet - Clementine Kruczynski
Jim Carrey - Joel Barish

“- Max Reede: Is wrestling real?
- Fletcher Reede: In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no.”
Justin Cooper - Max Reede
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“- Tina Carlyle: Thanks.
- Stanley Ipkiss: For what?
- Tina Carlyle: Lots of things. Sharing the sunset with me. For being the only guy whose ever treated me like a person and not some sort of party favor. For being any kind of romantic. Even a hopeless one.
- Stanley Ipkiss: You're welcome.
- Tina Carlyle: You know that night at the club? I knew...” (continue)(continue reading)
Cameron Diaz - Tina Carlyle
Jim Carrey - Stanley Ipkiss

“- Lois Einhorn: Listen, Pet Dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
- Ace Ventura: Well, I am not really ready for a relationship now, Lois. But thank you for asking.”
Sean Young - Lois Einhorn
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura

“- Bruce Nolan: What if I need you? What if I have questions?
- God: That's your problem. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.”
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan
Morgan Freeman - God