Drunkenness quotes

“- Reggie: I have been sober for three years.
- Mark: Yeah right, that's what all the drunks say, how they're gonna get sober and all. They even say they love you but they don't. And then they come home wasted and beat on you and your mother so bad that you gotta hit 'em in the face with a baseball bat!”
Susan Sarandon - Reggie Love
Brad Renfro - Mark Sway

You should see him though when there are no other guys around, and he thinks he might get lucky. Shakes like a leaf. Always has to be drunk too. He's like "Layne - Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic". They could make a movie, I don't know. Do you have to be drunk to kiss a girl?

Ione Skye - Clarissa

“Ellie, I had so much fun tonight. We got drunk, we almost got mugged, I met a sailor with a big fish.”
Mary Gross - Janis Zuckerman

“- Victoria: You're an alcoholic.
- Adam: Alcoholics have class. I'm a fucking drunk.”
Kaitlin Hopkins - Victoria
Johnathon Schaech - Adam

“- Lisa: Come on. Drink up.
- Travis: Don't you have a plane to catch?
- Lisa: Wasted is the only way to fly.”

Jacinda Barrett - Lisa
Matthew Davis - Travis Stark

“- Lola: So how've you been?
- Stu: Sober. I'm in recovery, again. Someone very sweet called me a drunk. And I didn't like it.”
Lindsay Lohan - Lola
Adam Garcia - Stu

“- Chris Cutter: She's okay, she's just tired.
- Brandon Foley: It's nice that you're lying to me but we both know she's shitface.
- Chris Cutter: Yeah, you'll take care of her?
- Brandon Foley: Got to, she's the only mom I've got.”
Paul Gross - Chris Cutter
Connor Price - Brandon Foley

“- Judge Zane: Thank you for your testimony, Officer Reese. Sergeant Highway, drunk and disorderly. Fighting in a public establishment. Urinating on a police vehicle?
- Highway: Well, it seemed like the thing to do, sir.
- Judge Zane: Just because there's no war going on does not give you the right to start one every time you get drunk. Now I'm...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Eames - Judge Zane
Clint Eastwood - Highway
John Hostetter - Reese

August 29, 1997, came and went. Nothing much happened. Michael Jackson turned 40. There was no Judgment Day. People went to work as they always do. Laughed, complained, watched TV, made love. I wanted to run to through the street yelling to grab them all and say, "Every day from this day on is a gift. Use it well". Instead, I got drunk.
Linda Hamilton - Sarah Connor

“She finds human imperfection unforgiveable. And when I gradually discovered that my relationship to her was supposed to be not that of a loving husband and a good companion, but... but that of a kind of high priest to a virgin goddess, then my drinks grew deeper and more frequent.”

Cary Grant - C. K. Dexter Haven

“You ought to drink more. Nothing hurts when you're numb.”
Brian Keith - Jocko

“You should've seen my mother. She was wonderful. Blonde, beautiful, intelligent, alcoholic. We used to drink milk together after school. Mine was homogenized. Hers was loaded. Once they picked her up for speeding. They clocked her doing 55. All right, but in our garage? And when they tested her... they found out that her alcohol had 2% blood.”
Robert De Niro - Rupert Pupkin

“- Miranda Hillard: What happened?
- Mrs. Doubtfire: He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him.
- Miranda Hillard: How awful. He was an alcoholic?
- Mrs. Doubtfire: No, he was hit by a Guinness truck. So it was quite literally the drink that killed him.”

Sally Field - Miranda Hillard
Robin Williams - Mrs. Doubtfire

“- Amy: I handled that well, didn't I? I'm still in one piece.
- Oscar Novak: Yes, very well. ...Where are you going?
- Amy: To get really, really drunk.”

Neve Campbell - Amy Post
Matthew Perry - Oscar Novak

“I know I drink a lot, I know I do because I'm a writer and that's what I do, I drink. I'm not like those people out there, I can control myself!”
Sandra Bullock - Gwen Cummings

“You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It's not that you had too much to drink. You're just too skinny.”
John Candy - Freddie Bauer

“God, I'm so hungover, my head feels like a tuning fork.”
Dudley Moore - Rob Salinger

“My brother ain't no drunk. He's my blood.”
Timothy Hutton - Jimmy Lynch

“There must and shall be aspirin!”

Richard R. Grant - Withnail

“No one will ever believe we were married sober.”

Spencer Tracy - Sam Craig

“- Wallace Wooley: I'm afraid you've got a hangover.
- Daniel: Don't tell me what I've got! I invented the hangover. It was in 1892... B.C.”
Fredric March - Wallace Wooley
Cecil Kellaway - Daniel

“- Gladys Sullivan: Oh, I'm sorry, I put a little vodka in there. Is it too much for you?
- Bill Porter: I probably shouldn't. I walk like a drunken sailor as it is.”
Kathy Baker - Gladys Sullivan
William H. Macy - Bill Porter

“- Reporter: Why are you in town?
- Nick Charles: My wife is on a bender. I'm trying to sober her up.”
Thomas E. Jackson - Reporter
William Powell - Nick Charles

“- Jake Donahue: I'm listening to a fucking drunk.
- Prang: Worthless piece of shit American.
- Jake Donahue: I heard that.
- Prang: I wanted you to!”
Loren Avedon - Jake Donahue
Keith Cooke - Prang

“God takes care of drunks, madmen and the American army.”
Brian Keith - President William McKinley