Drunkenness quotes

“When I'm high I am Odetta. Let's get naked and smoke.”
Pia Zadora - Beatnik Chick

“I wanna be drunk. And make... you drunk. Because I'm intimidated by you. I need to feel free to say anything, and know that you'll forgive me.”
Uma Thurman - June Miller

“- Nina Ivanovna Yakushova aka Ninotchka: It's funny to look back. I was brought up on goat's milk. I had a ration of vodka in the army, and now champagne.
- Count Leon d'Algout: From goats to grapes. That's drinking in the right direction.”
Greta Garbo - Nina Ivanovna Yakushova aka Ninotchka
Melvyn Douglas - Count Leon d'Algout

“See, that's the problem. I can't find a man that can satisfy me. Now some guys go an hour, hour in a half, that's it. A man's gotta put in overtime for me to get off.”

Mary Bond Davis - Big Stank Woman

“- Donnie Azoff: How's being sober?
- Jordan Belfort: It fuckin' sucks.
- Donnie Azoff: Boring, right?
- Jordan Belfort: So boring. I'm gonna kill myself.”
Jonah Hill - Donnie Azoff
Leonardo DiCaprio - Jordan Belfort

I really want to study this whole thing of drinking, getting drunk and people saying that they're having a good time. Because if you put on a good suit, you put on a good suit or whatever and you say, "I'm going out to have a good time". But some people announce it: "I'm going out... because I deserve to go out! And I'm going to get drunk...... (continue)(continue reading)
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“When you get in a fight with a drunk you don't hit him with your pitching hand.”
Kevin Costner - Crash Davis

“- Cat Ballou: Mrs. Parker didn't introduce us, I'm Catherine Ballou.
- Jed: I'm drunk as a skunk.”
Jane Seymour Fonda - Cat Ballou
Dwayne Hickman - Jed

“I'm sober enough to know I was drunk.”
Richard Harris - Frank

“- Policeman: Your friend is blind?
- Will Sly: More or less, yeah.
- Policeman: Then why the hell is he driving?
- Will Sly: 'Cause he's the only one who's sober!”
Angus MacInnes - Policeman
R.H. Thomson - Will Sly

“- Security Officer: He claimed he saw a monster, a horrible monster.
- Steve Martin: If he saw a monster, he's had too much saké.”
Frank Iwanaga - Security Officer
Raymond Burr - Steve Martin

“I don't mind you shooting at me, Frank, but take it easy on the Bacardi!”
John Forsythe - Lew Hayward

“- Tommy Cotter: Don't forget, this hit was meant for you, Shel. So from now on, wherever you go, we go.
- Sheldon Mopes: I'll be fine.
- Tommy Cotter: Fine nothing! As Christ is my witness, no one is touching a hair on your fucking head! Spinner would have wanted it that way. Okay boys, let's all pray and get shit-faced.”

Pam Ferris - Tommy Cotter
Edward Norton - Sheldon Mopes

“I'm better when I'm drunk!”
Jay Chandrasekhar - Barry Badrinath

“- Gus Colyard: Fuck! How do you just wake up in a room and have no idea where you are?
- Xavier Chavez: I guess you've never been drunk before.
- Gus Colyard: I've been drunk. I spent 3 years in college.”
Tony Nappo - Gus Colyard
Franky G - Xavier Chavez

“It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.”
Shirley MacLaine

“Captain James Macleane, for drunkenness, unruly behavior, causing an affray and disturbing the King's, I hereby sentence you to be placed in the Knightsbridge debtors' jail and to be held there until you are sober. Take him away.”
Michael Culkin - Judge Beresteade

“What the hell's wrong with being stupid once in a while? Does everything you do always have to be sensible? Haven't you ever thrown waterballoons off a roof? When you were a little kid didn't you ever sprinkle Ivory flakes on the living room floor 'cause you wanted to make it snow in July? Didn't you ever get really shitfaced and maybe make a...” (continue)(continue reading)

John Cusack - Walter "Gib" Gibson

“We drink to escape the fact we're alcoholics. Existence is the search for relief from our habit, and our habit is the only relief we can find.”
Lili Taylor - Kathleen Conklin

“- Jeff Dunham: Will you please tell these people I don't abuse drugs?
- Peanut: Okaaay! [turns to the audience] Jeff does not abuse drugs.
- Jeff Dunham: Thank you.
- Peanut: He's an alcoholic.”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Peanut

“- Billy: How often do you guys go on a bender like this?
- Babo: Bender? This isn't a bender, this is night-time!”
Robert Downey Jr. - Billy
Tim Thomerson - Babo

“- The Ringo Kid: That was my kid brother that broke his arm. You did a good job, Doc, even if you were drunk.
- Dr. Josiah Boone: Thank you, son. Professional compliments are always pleasing.”
John Wayne - The Ringo Kid
Thomas Mitchell - Dr. Josiah Boone

“- Todd: You know what I do remember? You making me drive you home from the beach 'cause you got too drunk!
- Donny: It makes sense to me. When somebody's hammered, they have another guy drive home!
- Todd: I was eight!
- Donny: And you drove like a fucking champ too.”
Andy Samberg - Todd
Adam Sandler - Donny

“Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whisky. Whiskey is a slap on the back and champagne's heavey mist before my eyes.”
James Stewart - Macaulay Connor

“My brother, he's as drunk as a scunk.”
Gerard Kearney - Big Con