Drunkenness quotes

“Human beings aren’t meant to be alone on the holidays. We actually need warmth, companionship and someone to drunk mock strangers with at parties.”
Luke Bracey - Jackson

“- Jane: I don't understand?
- Edwin Flagg: They are trying to say I'm drunk.
- Police Officer: Oh, we just say that you're a little happy. Okay?
- Edwin Flagg: Whose happy? I'm not happy.”
Bette Davis - Baby Jane Hudson
Victor Buono - Edwin Flagg
James Seay - Police Officer

“- Sarah Packard: How did you know my name was Sarah?
- Fast Eddie: You told me.
- Sarah Packard: I lie. When I'm drunk I lie.
- Fast Eddie: Okay, so what's your name today?
- Sarah Packard: Sarah.”
Piper Laurie - Sarah Packard
Paul Newman - Eddie Felson

“I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on!”
Shirley MacLaine - Tipsy Girl

“I've had hangovers before, but this time, even my hair hurts.”
Rock Hudson - Brad Allen

“- Thomas Wake: You’re drunk! You’re drunk!
- Ephraim Winslow: I’m drunk? I’m drunk?
- Thomas Wake: You heard me! Damn you!
- Ephraim Winslow: You’ve been drunk since I first laid eyes on you.”
Willem Dafoe - Thomas Wake
Logan Hawkes - Ephraim Winslow

“Who cares about winning? Let's get drunk!”
Jason Bateman - Max

“- Senator Morton: You had no trouble, of course, with the police once they verified your alibi?
- Guy Haines: When an alibi is full of bourbon, sir, it can't stand up.”
Leo G. Carroll - Sen. Morton
Farley Granger - Guy Haines

“Forget everything. We'll get drunk!”
Lamberto Maggiorani - Antonio

“Start 'em off with a single, then a double, then a triple, then back to a double, and back to a single. You want 'em drunk enough to get their credit card then sober enough to sign the check.”
Jennifer Lopez - Ramona

“- Don Birnam: Just give me another drink.
- Nat: Mr. Birnam, this is the morning?
- Don Birnam: That's when you need it most - in the morning. Haven't you learned that yet? At night this stuff's a drink. In the morning, it's medicine.”
Ray Milland - Don Birnam
Howard Da Silva - Nat

“When you come to the end of the line, with a buddy who is more than a brother and a little less than a wife, getting blind drunk together is really the only way to say farewell.”
Kurt Russell - Randy Miller

“- Frank Hamer: You in good spirits?
- Maney Gault: Pretty polite way of asking if I’m drinking.”
Kevin Costner - Frank Hamer
Woody Harrelson - Maney Gault

“I'll tell you what I am... and what you are. I'm a man with a gun, and you're drunk.”

Yul Brynner - Jules Gaspard d'Estaing

“To live, you must be drunk on something... uh, love, money, success, failure, even whiskey, but something!”
Walter Chiari - Pablo

“- Philippe: I am confused. You know what I'd like to do?
- Cecile: What?
- Philippe: I'd like to go someplace alone with you and get very drunky-poo.
- Cecile: Phillipe, you'll be a credit to your mother yet.”
Geoffrey Horne - Philippe
Jean Seberg - Cecile

“- Bisbee Marshal: Alex, have you been drinking this morning or not?
- Alex Potter, town drunk: Marshal, you know I never touch a drop until the stroke of noon.”
Ford Rainey - Bisbee Marshal
Henry Jones - Alex Potter

- Ian: Alone on a boat for nine months? You're either drunk or mad.
- Donald Crowhurst: Well, then we should have another drink immediately, so that we can rule out madness. As Chichester said, "any fool can circumnavigate the world sober, it takes a really good sailor to do it drunk." Same again?
Jonathan Bailey - Ian Wheeler
Colin Firth - Donald Crowhurst

“I'm drunk. It's a pleasure to stay drunk when your little boy's been killed.”
Eileen Heckart - Hortense Daigle

“- Reporter 3: Freddie, concerning your private life: there's lots of pictures of you in the tabloids, looking drunk or ill.
- Freddie Mercury: Which one is it; ill or drunk?
- John Reid: I had a cold last week, if anyone cares.”
Joshua Higgott - Reporter 3
Rami Malek - Freddie Mercury
Aidan Gillen - John Reid

“- Dottie Hinson: What did you do to her?
- Doris Murphy - 3rd Base: Nothin', we just gave her a dress.
- Mae Mordabito: And a lotta liquor!”

Geena Davis - Dottie Hinson
Rosie O'Donnell - Doris Murphy - 3rd Base
Madonna - Mae Mordabito

Tonight's lecture: "what's wrong with celebrating sobriety by getting drunk?".
Margo Martindale - Betty

All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says: "tackle the gazelle". And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says: "tackle drunk bitches".

Romany Malco - Jay

“Son, I've played sick, drunk, divorced, and on the run. Bad Blake hasn't missed a goddamn show in his whole fucking life.”

Jeff Bridges - Bad Blake

“- Jeff Dunham: Bubba J., when you go to a NASCAR race and you party a lot, who is your designated driver?
- Bubba J.: What the fuck is that?
- Jeff Dunham: Do you drive drunk?
- Bubba J.: No, officer! I'm practicing.”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Bubba J.