Genitalia quotes

“- Schmidt: There's a grenade in my shorts, can you reach it? Go in from underneath!
- Jenko: Oh, shit! Is that it?
- Schmidt: No, that's my dick!
- Jenko: What about that?
- Schmidt: That's my dick also!
- Jenko: Why is it hard?
- Schmidt: I'm so full of adrenalin right now!”
Jonah Hill - Schmidt
Channing Tatum - Jenko

“- Betty-Anne Pottie: There is some things you have to know if you're finally start going out.
- Moonie Pottie: That's okay.
- Betty-Anne Pottie: Listen to me. If a guy says it's his belt buckle poking you, it isn't. It's something else.”
Krista MacDonald - Betty-Anne Pottie
Liane Balaban - Moonie Pottie

“- Tracy: Do you know you have an animal growing out of your pants?
- Dooley: Thanks, hon. I also have a dog here.”
Mel Harris - Tracy
Jim Belushi - Dooley

“- Stuart Richards: How big are you?
- Steve Burns: Party size.”
Richard Cox - Stuart Richards
Al Pacino - Steve Burns

“Oh my balls! I have no balls Liz! All I have is a fat set of petty dictators sewn up in cheap leather.”
Wallace Shawn - Howard

“- Doctor: Your testicles have grown to the size of Florida oranges.
- Maxxx Orbison: Don't you think I notice that? Tell me something I don't know, you cocky prick!
- Doctor: I am going to have to amputate your pee pee.”
Lloyd Kaufman - Doctor
Michael Dean Jacobs - Maxxx Orbison

“When you touch a woman and her clit's like that you know she knows about sex like you.”
Mark Ruffalo - Detective Giovanni A. Malloy

“- The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
- The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.”
David Huddleston - The Big Lebowski
Jeff Bridges - The Dude

“- Sheik Riyadh: How is the coffee? If you were to put a horseshoe in it, do you suppose it would stand erect?
- Katib: At your age uncle, I suppose it is that only thing that might!
- Sheik Riyadh: Boldly spoken... for a man with no wives.”
Omar Sharif - Sheikh Riyadh
Silas Carson - Katib

“- Rose O'Reilly: Come on. I can't help you unless you show it to me. Sweetie just show it to me.
- David Clark: Kenny, will you just man up and drop your pants?
- Casey Mathis: We've all seen a dick!”

Jennifer Aniston - Rose O'Reilly
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark
Emma Roberts - Casey Mathis

“- The Crook: I was only in it for the birds after the show.
- Woman with ants on face: You, Steve Jones, are nothing but a walking dildo doing a good plumbing job. You'd swim through a river of snot, wade nostril deep through a mile of vomit, as long as you thought there was a sexy cunt at the end of it - and those cunts!”
Steve Jones - The Crook
Jean Warren - Woman with ants on face

“Pubic hair causes crime.”
Mark Joy - Jimmy

“- Gloria Russell: Bill, I need you to examine her.
- Bill Burton: I'm no gynecologist.
- Gloria Russell: I just made you one!
- Bill Burton: Oh, Christ...”
Judy Davis - Gloria Russell
Scott Glenn - Bill Burton

“- Joseph: Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.
- Phoebe: Well, I see you've covered the basics.”
Miko Hughes - Joseph
Pamela Reed - Phoebe

“- Papa Klump: I don't want to hear about you, old-ass geriatrics.
- Granny Klump: Oh, yeah, Cletus? Me and Isaac might be dried up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac's love tackle.
- Ernie Klump: Oh snap, now.
- Granny Klump: What's the matter Cletus, cat got your tongue? Did I step on a nerve, Cletus? I get ya, got ya, got ya!”
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump
Eddie Murphy - Granny Klump
Eddie Murphy - Ernie Klump

“- Lucien Cordier: Do you know the question no one can answer? The big question?
- George Le Peron: Go ahead.
- Lucien Cordier: When you scratch your balls, is it 'cause they itch, or 'cause it feels good?”
Philippe Noiret - Lucien Cordier
Jean-Pierre Marielle - L'adjudant Georges Le Peron

“Sorry to interrupt your erection.”

Joe Piscopo - Doug Bigelow

“- Russell: When did you first fall in love with me?
- Sandra: The first time I saw the enormous size of your beautiful... wallet.”
Larry Cox - Russell
Heidi Kozak - Sandra

“- Captain Monica Stark: Strange that the victim had only one testicle stuffed in his mouth. I believe they usually come in pairs.
- Cookie: Well, that's cuz he only had one. I checked. Plenty of meat, only one potato.”
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark
Jenica Bergere - Cookie

“- Kenny Tyler: We've been through a lot together and I love you more than anything in this world, but you've got to stop popping up all the time wanting to play. I'm on a date, I can't play with you right now. Gosh, you're making it so hard. People are starting to stare at me.
- Man in Bathroom: You know something, I've got the same problem.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)

Marlon Wayans - Kenny Tyler
Rod Crawford - Man in Bathroom

- Mark: We're talking permanent erection here. There's a medical term for that. Isn't there?
- Steven Carter: Uh, Yeah..."Sad Bastard".
Patrick Nielsen - Mark
Ben Silverstone - Steven Carter

- Chris: "Suck my fat one"? Whoever told you that you had a fat one, Lachance?
- Gordie: Biggest one in four counties.
River Phoenix - Chris Chambers
Wil Wheaton - Gordie Lachance

“I hope Donna comes pretty soon. And I hope she hasn't eaten yet because I got something for her: tubesteak smothered in underwear.”
Cheech Marin - Cheech

“- Dallas: You're not one of those Freudian sub-intellectuals who waste all their time fixating on penis envy.
- Dr. Jarvis: Sex is a prime motivator. Indirectly, I believe sex is behind most of our major thought processes.”
Paulina Porizkova - Dallas
Michael Jeter - Dr. Jarvis

“- Justine Last: Gwen says smoking marijuana lowers your sperm.
- Phil Last: Lowers it to where?
- Justine Last: Maybe you're the infertile one around here. Maybe every time you smoke a little doobie, you're killing our unborn children.”
Jennifer Aniston - Justine Last
John C. Reilly - Phil Last