Husband quotes

“I planned on having one husband and seven children, but it turned out the other way around.”
Lana Turner

“- Lauren: You know, I'm curious. With so many possible reasons, which one's the one your wife left you for?
- Jim: Cancer.
- Lauren: I'm sorry. I naturally just assumed you were divorced.
- Jim: It's okay. I naturally assumed your husband shot himself, so we're even.”
Drew Barrymore - Lauren
Adam Sandler - Jim

“Three things have helped me successfully go through the ordeals of life - an understanding husband, a good analyst and millions of dollars.”
Mary Tyler Moore

“- Matt Freehauf: Buddy is a married man. By all accounts, happily.
- Mavis Gary: Yeah, happily married men go to bars alone with their ex-girlfriends all the time. They call them privately and they make out with them on porches.”
Patton Oswalt - Matt Freehauf
Charlize Theron - Mavis Gary

“- Rudy: Your ex-husband shouldn’t be living in your basement.
- Joy: Well, Dad, speaking of a proper way to be divorced.”
Robert De Niro - Rudy
Jennifer Lawrence - Joy

“- Dian Fossey: It's nice to see a married man who can sew.
- Bob Campbell: How did you know I was married?
- Dian Fossey: The night you arrived, you shook the rain off your parka outside the door so you wouldn't get the floor wet.
- Bob Campbell: Does it matter?
- Dian Fossey: Apparently not.”
Sigourney Weaver - Dian Fossey
Bryan Brown - Bob Campbell

“Don't bother arresting them. Let their husbands deal with them.”
Brendan Gleeson - Inspector Arthur Steed

“You don't know anything about what's inside him. And neither does she, his wife. That's probably what she thought when she married him. A smooth operator with money in his pockets. But now he isn't smooth any longer and she's lost interest in him.”

Teresa Wright - Peggy Stephenson

“The purpose of university is to find a suitable husband.”
Frances Fisher - Ruth Dewitt Bukater

“The purpose of my life is being a father to my kids and being a husband to my wife.”
Terrence Howard

“I like to be thought of as a good father and a good husband.”
Treat Williams

“- Jessie Bannister: Claudia, I... What are you doing?
- Claudia: Making a list of potential husbands. There are plenty of former suitors just waiting to sweep me off my feet.
- Jessie Bannister: Ranked in financial order?
- Claudia: One has to know what one is getting into.
- Jessie Bannister: What's the asterisk for?
- Claudia: Over eighty.”
Kirstie Alley - Jessie Bannister
Alison La Placa - Claudia

“The cities are full of women, middle-aged widows. Husbands, dead husbands who've spent their lives making fortunes, working and working. And then they die and leave their money to their wives, their silly wives.”
Joseph Cotten - Charlie Oakley

“No one's going to pay you to be a husband, unless you marry Oprah.”
Charlie Day - Dale Arbus

“There's one good thing in being a widow, isn't there? You don't have to ask your husband for money.”
Frances Carson - Mrs. Potter

“- Hal Wainwright: Estelle, I've been trying to call you all day. I can't get home until the weekend. Tell Ginny I'll make it up to her.
- Estelle Wainwright: Tell her yourself, you bastard... It's your loving father.”

Lawrence Dane - Hal Wainwright
Sharon Acker - Estelle Wainwright

“- Gretchen Ross: My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad. He has emotional problems.
- Donnie Darko: What kind of emotional problems does your dad have?
- Gretchen Ross: He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.”
Jena Malone - Gretchen Ross
Jake Gyllenhaal - Donnie Darko

“He's not violent. Just a bit nasty.”
Janine Duvitski - Angela

“I don't care how rich he is, as long as he has a yacht, his own private railroad car, and his own toothpaste.”
Marilyn Monroe - Sugar Kane Kowalczyk

“- Hildy Johnson: You are no longer my husband and no longer my boss. And you're not going to be my boss.
- Walter Burns: All right, take it. Work for somebody else. That's the gratitude I get.”
Rosalind Russell - Hildy Johnson
Cary Grant - Walter Burns

“I lost my husband and my beeper... have you seen either one of them?”
Jane Adams - Clair Forsyth

“- To-Bel: I love what you've done with your home.
- Clare Lipkin: Oh, well, my late husband liked the idea of an English manor, trapped inside an Italian villa, and me trapped right along with it.”
Arnetia Walker - To-Bel
Jacqueline Bisset - Clare Lipkin

“I'm a married man, I'm not used to this much attention.”
Paul Giamatti - John

“- Dale Tremont: Madge, have you any objections if I scare your husband so that he'll never look at another woman?
- Madge Hardwick: Dale, no husband is ever too scared to look.”
Ginger Rogers - Dale Tremont
Helen Broderick - Madge Hardwick

- Mary: I want a guy who can play 36 holes of golf, and still have enough energy to take Warren and me to a baseball game, and eat sausages, and beer, not lite beer, but beer. That's my ad, print it up.
- Brenda: "Fatty who likes golf and beer". Gee, Mary, where are you gonna find a gem like that?
Cameron Diaz - Mary
Sarah Silverman - Brenda