Husband quotes

“- Joel Glicker: Poor Debbie. She was sick.
- Wednesday Addams: She wasn't sick. She was sloppy.
- Joel Glicker: What do you mean?
- Wednesday Addams: If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught.
- Joel Glicker: How?
- Wednesday Addams: I'd scare him to death.”

David Krumholtz - Joel Glicker
Christina Ricci - Wednesday Addams

“We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay.”

Jeff Goldblum - Alistair Hennessey

“- Daniel Leeson: Glad to know you.
- Jerry Warriner: How can you be glad to know me? I know how I'd feel if I was sitting with a girl and her husband walked in.”
Ralph Bellamy - Daniel Leeson
Cary Grant - Jerry Warriner

“- Chloe Steele: Turn that up.
- Raymie Steele: Mom said to turn it down.
- Chloe Steele: You always do what you're told?
- Raymie Steele: Yeah, you should try it sometime.”

Janaya Stephens - Chloe Steele
Jay Manchester - Raymie Steele

“- Nancy Miller: I mostly want lots of good, straight sex.
- Judith Singer: What about affection, caring, love?
- Nancy Miller: I get love from Larry. I do love Larry. And he loves me.
- Judith Singer: So why the other men?
- Nancy Miller: Because they give me what Larry can't. Passion. Excitement. Novelty.
- Judith Singer: Can't you get that...” (continue)(continue reading)
Judith Ivey - Nancy Miller
Susan Sarandon - Judith Singer

“Last week on TV, I heard about a woman who stabbed her husband twenty-seven times. And you know why? Because he refused to put the top back on the mustard jar. Twenty-seven times! Can you imagine?”
Joan Plowright - Nadja

“- Edna 'E' Mode: This is a horrible suit, darling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it. Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now? Feh!
- Bob Parr: Wait, what do you mean? You designed it.
- Edna 'E' Mode: I never look back, darling! It distracts from the now.”
Brad Bird - Edna 'E' Mode
Craig T. Nelson - Bob Parr

“I adore San Francisco! My favorite ex-husband lives there.”
Glenn Hughes - Village People: Leatherman

“- The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
- Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a superhero. Listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.”
William H. Macy - Shoveler
Jenifer Lewis - Lucille

“My mom says my dad's eyes are brown because he's so full of shit.”

Paulie Litt - Bryan

“Forgive me if I get a little emotional, but this is the day every mother dreams of. The day she watches her only daughter put a lock on her bedroom door, to keep her husband out.”
Frances Fisher - Sara Miller

“It isn't like you burnt the toast, Mia. You murdered your husband!”

Sharon Stone - Nicole Horner

“- Wanda: He's like my third husband, he should rest in peace.
- Oscar Madison: How do you know he's dead? Maybe he's just bluffing.”
Rebecca Schull - Wanda, the Vixen
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Liz LaBreche: My husband was in the oil business with my dad. If daddy trusted him, I figured I could trust him, too.
- Charlie Gordon: So, what happened?
- Liz LaBreche: Well, as it turned out, there were a lot of test wells he was drillin' on the side.”
Dyan Cannon - Liz LaBreche
Walter Matthau - Charlie Gordon

“Your husband was a despicable greedy bastard.”
Irene Miracle - Dana Hadley

“Father, is this my husband-to-be? He's a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn't he marry him?”
Lucy Liu - Princess Pei Pei

“I'll be the one who's gonna decide who my husband should marry!”
Demi Moore - Marina Lemke

“Since you men haven't reached a decision, the only proper thing for me to do is to put both my husbands in the guest room!”

Jean Arthur - Vicky Lowndes

“Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't forget it. You're going to get back on that horse and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight and away we're going to go, go, go!”

Katharine Hepburn - Ethel Thayer

“- Carolyn Burnham: Buddy, this is my...
- Lester Burnham: Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.”

Annette Bening - Carolyn Burnham
Kevin Spacey - Lester Burnham

“- Miranda Hillard: What happened?
- Mrs. Doubtfire: He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him.
- Miranda Hillard: How awful. He was an alcoholic?
- Mrs. Doubtfire: No, he was hit by a Guinness truck. So it was quite literally the drink that killed him.”

Sally Field - Miranda Hillard
Robin Williams - Mrs. Doubtfire

“I'm out of your life. Drowned. Forgotten. You found a new love. That makes me an unwanted corpse at a party. I'll go.”

Fred MacMurray - Bill Cardew

- Walter Neff: You can't get away with it. You want to knock him off, don't you?
- Phyllis Dietrichson: That's a horrible thing to say.
- Walter Neff: What do you think I was, anyway? A guy that walks into a good-looking dame's front parlor and says: "Good afternoon. I sell accident insurance on husbands. Have you got one that's been around too... (continue)(continue reading)

Fred MacMurray - Walter Neff
Barbara Stanwyck - Phyllis Dietrichson

“- Princess Lyssa: My father says that good fighters make bad husbands.
- Prince Colwyn: Well, that depends.
- Princess Lyssa: On what?
- Prince Colwyn: On whether you expect a husband to follow you around. Jump every time you clap your hands.
- Princess Lyssa: Wouldn't you jump for me? No of course not. You're a warrior.”
Lysette Anthony - Lyssa
Ken Marshall - Colwyn

- Noleta: We just finished watching "Thelma and Louise", and we're pissed!
- LaVonda: At men! Ain't that right, Louise?
- Noleta: No, I'm Thelma!
- LaVonda: I thought I was Thelma.
- Noleta: No, Thelma was the one with the shitty husband!
Delta Burke - Noleta Nethercott
Ann Walker - LaVonda DuPree