Husband quotes

“Husbands expect their wives to keep their figures.”
Merle Oberon - Jill Baker

“- Eliot Arnold: Do you think someone's trying to kill your husband?
- Anna Herk: God, I hope so!”
Tim Allen - Eliot Arnold
Rene Russo - Anna Herk

“- Loretta Lynn: Woman, if you want to keep that arm, you better get it off my husband.
- Girl at fairgrounds: Who are you telling what?
- Loretta Lynn: I don't know who you are, but I know what you are.”

Sissy Spacek - Loretta Lynn
Susan Kingsley - Girl at Fairgrounds

“No point crying over spilt husbands.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh

“- Amanda Lemmon: Get a husband.
- Diane Barrows: It's not like buying a car, you know.
- Amanda Lemmon: I know. It's got to be that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff, right?”
Mary-Kate Olsen - Amanda Lemmon
Kirstie Alley - Diane Barrows

“Somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.”
Carrie Fisher - Marie

“What's the last thing that you can remember about your husband that you know to be true?”
Harrison Ford - Dutch Van Den Broeck

“I love Harpo, God knows I do. But I'll kill him dead 'fo I let him beat me.”
Oprah Winfrey - Sofia

“- Paul Hackett: Can I ask you something? I've wanted to ask you this all night. Who's Franklin?
- Marcy: Franklin? Franklin is my husband.
- Paul Hackett: Really? Is that - his loft, then?
- Marcy: He owns it yes.
- Paul Hackett: Well, do you live with him?
- Marcy: No, he's in Turkey. Look, I stayed with my husband for three days. I was very...” (continue)(continue reading)
Griffin Dunne - Paul Hackett
Rosanna Arquette - Marcy

“- George Banks: You look like you're enjoying seeing me in here.
- Nina Banks: Enjoying? Do you think it's enjoyable to get a phone call telling you to come down to the police station because your husband's been arrested for stealing hot dog buns?”
Steve Martin - George Banks
Diane Keaton - Nina Banks

“- Lord Caversham: What do you want him to be then, my dear?
- Miss Mabel Chiltern: I think he can be whatever he chooses.
- Lord Caversham: You don't deserve her, sir.
- Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved... we should have a very bad time of it.”

John Wood - Lord Caversham
Minnie Driver - Miss Mabel Chiltern
Rupert Everett - Lord Arthur Goring

“- David: So, you're her fighter?
- Eddie 'Kid Natural' Scanlon: So, you're her husband?
- David: Ex-husband.
- Eddie 'Kid Natural' Scanlon: Well with a little luck I'll be her ex-fighter.”

Paul Sand - David
Ryan O'Neal - Eddie 'Kid Natural' Scanlon

“Up until 8 weeks ago, I worked for the FBI Miami... secretary... until I got fired for having a defective husband.”
Demi Moore - Erin Grant

“- Lord Rogers: I beg you, apologize to Odette. You know you're going to have to sooner or later.
- Derek: Why do I always have to be the one to apologize?
- Lord Rogers: Because that's what we husbands do. We hunt, we fish, we watch sporting events and we apologize.”
Joseph Medrano - Lord Rogers
Brian Nissen - Derek

“I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. One day he tells me it's my fault he saw other women. So I picked up a knife, and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him.”
Queen Latifah - Liz Bailey

“- Joe Hallenbeck: Last night I fucked your wife.
- Alley Thug: You did? How you know it was my wife?
- Joe Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat.”
Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck
Badja Djola - Alley Thug

“- CC: What will I do without my best friend?
- John Pierce: You've got me.
- CC: [smiling sadly] It's not the same.”

Bette Midler - CC Bloom
John Heard - John Pierce

“What a husband doesn't know won't hurt his wife.”
Maude Eburne - Anna

“That bimbo stole my husband! They drank their lover's wine in glasses I stood in line to buy!”
Shelley Lee Long - Lucy Van Patten Brodsky

“- Martin Brogan: That was a dirty trick wasn't it, eh? Eh? Kicking me right in the bahoogies.
- Sharon Brogan Crawford: You were going to stab your wife with a sword, you pig.
- Martin Brogan: Ah, sure, that's no big thing. I do it every night.
- Sharon Brogan Crawford: Oh, and I suppose watching other men's wives in the bathtub is no big deal...” (continue)(continue reading)
Liam Neeson - Martin Brogan
Beverly D'Angelo - Sharon Brogan Crawford

“- Jack Wells: Do you know how your husband died?
- Mrs. Bickerman: Oh yes! I killed him.
- Jack Wells: You killed him?
- Mrs. Bickerman: Oh yes!”
Bill Pullman - Jack Wells
Betty Marion White - Mrs. Delores Bickerman

I went back east to a reunion and all my friends could talk about their husband's work. How "dog-eat-dog" and cutthroat it was on Madison Ave. Places like that. Cutthroat. I wondered how they would've felt if every time their husband went in to make a deal, there was a one in four chance he wouldn't come out of that meeting.

Pamela Reed - Trudy Cooper

“Pardon me, having a conversation with my dead husband happens to upset me a little bit!”

Sally Field - Kay

“- Joan: I think a woman's place is to make a man happy, not to ask questions and be curious.
- Mlle. Rosay: My dear, you shouldn't have any trouble whatsoever in getting an husband.”
Michèle Morgan - Joan
May Robson - Mlle. Rosay

“- Lady Lou: Yes, I wasn't always rich.
- Pearl: No?
- Lady Lou: No, there was a time I didn't know where my next husband was coming from.”
Mae West - Lady Lou
Louise Beavers - Pearl