Misunderstanding quotes

“- Radley: My pumpkin's a duck!
- Carla: No, I'm a swan!”
Tom Skerritt - Radley
Juliette Lewis - Carla

“- Sally: Where did you come from?
- The Cat: Hm… How do I put this... When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that...
- Conrad: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Where did you come from?
- The Cat: My place, what do you think?”
Dakota Fanning - Sally
Mike Myers - The Cat
Spencer Breslin - Conrad

“Mina has died... No not lied! Died!”

Frank Langella - Dracula

“- Claudia: It must be hard to spank your monkey.
- Ishmael: You have a monkey?”

Vanessa Angel - Claudia
Randy Quaid - Ishmael

“- Angus (Red Hair Giant): You dig like a dog.
- Herger - Joyous: Did you call me a dog?
- Angus (Red Hair Giant): I said you dig like one. Flinging Earth carelessly like an animal.
- Herger - Joyous: So, now I'm an animal?
- Angus (Red Hair Giant): You're not listening.
- Herger - Joyous: I'm deaf?
- Angus (Red Hair Giant): You're a fool, little...” (continue)(continue reading)
Chris Angel - Angus (Red Hair Giant)
Dennis Storhøi - Herger - Joyous

“- Gail Stanwyk: I really should change.
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: No! I think you should stay the same wonderful person you are today.
- Gail Stanwyk: I mean, put clothes on.”
Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“- Homer Simpson: [blundering into a movie's casting session] Hello, can I have change for a dollar? Also, can I have a dollar?
- Comic Book Guy: You. Are. Acceptable!
- Homer Simpson: Great, would you like to see me naked?
- Hollywood Casting Lady: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie.
- Homer Simpson: What movie?”
Dan Castellaneta - Homer Simpson
Hank Azaria - Comic Book Guy

“- Jonathan Switcher: What time do you open?
- Claire Timkin: We are open.”

Estelle Getty - Claire Timkin
Andrew McCarthy - Jonathan Switcher

“You got to tell her. Seriously. You can pass off two dates without a kiss as old fashioned, you go three and you're a homo.”

Paulo Costanzo - Ryan

“- Kurt Bozwell: I want you to bail on Good Burger. You make your sauce for Kurt.
- Ed: Who's Kurt?
- Kurt Bozwell: I'm Kurt.
- Ed: I'm Ed.
- Kurt Bozwell: I'm aware!
- Ed: You said you were Kurt.”
Jan Schweiterman - Kurt Bozwell
Kel Mitchell - Ed

“- Beth: We could do it in the... butt, if you want.
- Andy: But if I want what?
- Beth: You know... butt!
- Andy: But... what?”
Elizabeth Banks - Beth
Steve Carrell - Andy

- Gary: McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate"!
- J.J.: You mean, penis-in-vagina?
- Gary: No, dickhead - sex.
A.D. Miles - Gary
Zak Orth - J.J.

“- Trinity: My name's Trinity.
- Neo: The Trinity? Who cracked the IRS d-base?
- Trinity: That was a long time ago.
- Neo: Jesus…
- Trinity: What?
- Neo: I just thought... you were a guy.
- Trinity: Most guys do.”
Carrie-Anne Moss - Trinity
Keanu Reeves - Neo

“- Andre Marek: We're speaking the same language, but you don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?
- Lady Claire: No.”
Gerard Butler - Andre Marek
Anna Friel - Lady Claire

“- Miles Logan: Yo tengo el gato los pantalones.
- Carlson: You just said you have a cat in your pants.”
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan

“- Jake: [describing April to Billy] She was a fun ride, no doubt about it, but she is a previously owned vehicle and I'm into that new car smell.
- Jessica: You asshole!
- Jessica: Whoever left these towels here is an asshole.”
Eric Christian Olsen - Jake
Rob Schneider - Jessica

“- Clarence: I met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. one time.
- Sweets: Man, you lyin'. You ain't never met no Martin Luther the King.”
Eddie Murphy - Clarence

“- Jack Burley: Did you ever hear of Puccini, Norton?
- Blackie Norton: Yeah. Didn't he run a joint down on Dupont Street?”
Jack Holt - Jack Burley
Clark Gable - Blackie Norton

“- Drucker: Say something honest, no holds barred. Go!
- Nervous Executive Harris: I like small boys.
- Drucker: About the product, you fucking idiot!”
J. T. Walsh - Drucker
Steve Bradford - Nervous Executive Harris

- Jennifer Baker: You said "Love Cake"!
- Pistachio Disguisey: Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny!
- Jennifer Baker: What?
- Pistachio Disguisey: What I was trying to say is that I have a present for Barney. [hands her knee pads] Tell him they are from his dad... da da da dat Italian guy... Me.
Jennifer Esposito - Jennifer Baker
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“- Reporter: Rock, you got anything derogatory to say about the champ?
- Rocky Balboa: Derogatory? Yeah. He's great.”
Tawny Little - Reporter
Sylvester Stallone - Rocky Balboa

Okay, that one was a little tougher. He either said we should "go to the back of the throat", or he "wants a root beer float".

Ellen Lee DeGeneres - Dory

“- Danny: I thought you loved me.
- Sarah: Really, what made you think that?
- Danny: Probably when you said you loved me.”
Jude Law - Danny
Hillary Matthews - Sarah

“- Serge: Donny, run and tell Miss Summers that, uh, Mister Achmed Foley is here to see her.
- Axel Foley: No, Axel Foley. Axel.
- Serge: Achnell? Achwell.
- Axel Foley: Axel.
- Serge: Foley is here to see her, he's an old acquaintance.”

Bronson Pinchot - Serge
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“- Kay Bentley: She's an old schoolmate of mine from grammar school.
- Michael Shayne: I haven't seen any old girls.
- Kay Bentley: She's not old - about my age.
- Michael Shayne: And still going to grammar school? She's a little mentally round-shouldered!”
Lynn Bari - Kay Bentley
Lloyd Nolan - Michael Shayne