Misunderstanding quotes

“- Sam Sleaze: Big yellow bird at 1 o'clock.
- Sid Sleaze: Is it that late already?
- Sam Sleaze: It's Air Force talk, you nerf!”
Dave Thomas - Sam Sleaze
Joe Flaherty - Sid Sleaze

“- Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
- Ted Striker: What is it?
- Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.”
Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
Robert Hays - Ted Striker

“- Rainbow Randolph: He's a pillow-biter, you know.
- Sheldon Mopes: I wouldn't know anything about his sleeping disorders.”
Robin Williams - Rainbow Randolph
Edward Norton - Sheldon Mopes

“- Jules: Is that the Opera House?
- Alba: No, that's my ass.”

Frédéric Andréi - Jules
Thuy An Luu - Alba

“- Doug Remer: That's a dude.
- Squeak Scolari: No way, you're just saying that because you want her for yourself.
- Doug Remer: No dude, I'm saying that because she's a guy.
- Squeak Scolari: That's impossible. Just look at her. She's got the cutest little upturned nose, the softest lips. The sweetest Adam's apple.”
Trey Parker - Doug Remer
Dian Bachar - Squeak Scolari

“- Gru: Uh, question. What are these?
- Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots. Boogie! Look at this! Watch me.
- Gru: Cookie robots! I said cookie robots! Ah, why... why are you so... old?”
Steve Carrell - Gru
Russell Brand - Dr. Nefario

“- Edith Bolling Galt: That's the last straw! You've got to do something about it. They've no right to say such things about you, even to win an election.
- Woodrow Wilson: They weren't talking about me. That's what they said about Abraham Lincoln when he was running for reelection in 1864.”

Geraldine Fitzgerald - Edith Bolling Galt
Alexander Knox - Woodrow Wilson

“- Nun: Have you ever been down the Yellow River?
- Leon: ...Yea, once in the '80s but I did not enjoy it...”
Joan Messiah - Nun
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Peter: If you don't mind I'd like to do that every hour on the hour for the rest of our lives.
- Christina: Of course, go right ahead.
- Peter: And don't worry about returning the favor, men don't really like oral sex.
- Christina: Yeah, right.
- Peter: I'm serious, it's just a horrible rumor that got started back sometime in the 1950's.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)

Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Thomas Jane - Peter Donahue

“- Vincent Ludwig: Cuban?
- Frank Drebin: No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales.”

Ricardo Montalban - Vincent Ludwig
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Charlie: Do you people take checks?
- Limo Driver: Say that again. Do we people take checks? You mean a black man?
- Charlie: No, no, no, no, God, no! Your company.
- Limo Driver: Don't give me that backtracking bullshit, that was a racist slur!”
Jim Carrey - Charlie
Tony Cox - Limo Driver

- Esteva: Do you know who I am?
- Spenser: Ricardo Montalban? I loved you in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan".
Maurice Dean Wint - Esteva
Robert Urich - Spenser

“- Duncan McDermott: This is serious. I mean, half of the world is going around saying something to the other half and they don't even know it's a compliment. I mean, my God, this is a linguistic breakthrough!
- Kit McDermott: Danger. Philosopher crossing over here.”

Sean Astin - Duncan McDermott
Dermot Mulroney - Kit McDermott

“Is your mom dating an undertaker?”

Heather Matarazzo - Lilly Moscovitz

“- Lofty: Could you burp on cue?
- Bugsy: Yeah, I can burp on all the letters, not just Q.”
Pip Torrens - Lofty
Ricky Gervais - Bugsy

“- Willow Ufgood: We found one of your babies in our village. Will you please take care of her?
- Airk Thaughbaer: We're going into battle, little ones. Find a woman to take care of her.
- Madmartigan: He thought you were a woman, Airk!”
Warwick Davis - Willow Ufgood
Gavan O'Herlihy - Airk Thaughbaer
Val Kilmer - Madmartigan

“- Ella: Is that me?
- Link: Betty
- Ella: Betty... Betty?
- Link: Betty Betty Nuggs.
- Ella: Betty Nuggs?”

Robin Tunney - Ella
Brendan Fraser - Link

- Beatrice Stanhope: Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.
- An Ape Named "Ape": Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall.

Holland Taylor - Beatrice Stanhope
John Marwood Cleese - An Ape Named "Ape"

“- Michelle Monet: Do you speak French?
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well, just enough to get myself into trouble.”
Claudine Longet - Michelle Monet
Peter Sellers - Hrundi V. Bakshi

“I better get to the little girls room before I soak my panties. By that I mean, my girlfriends panties... which I carry with me.... To pee in... In case I dont make it in time, to the bathroom. What, you dont pee in your girlfriends panties? What kind of gay club is this? Hey everybody, check this guy out! not peeing in his girlfriends panties.”

Rob Schneider - Jessica

“- Trish: Do you have protection?
- Andy: I don't like guns.”

Catherine Keener - Trish
Steve Carrell - Andy

- Professor Edward Alcott: I'm sure if she were alive, Betty Friedan would applaud your little epiphany.
- Dora Diamond: Oh really? Well, if Kafka was still alive he'd say "Stop misinterpreting my novels, you pretentious bonehead!"
Greg Kinnear - Prof. Edward Alcott
Mena Suvari - Dora Diamond

“- Maxwell Smart: Oh great, I have gum on the bottom of my new shoes.
- Guy on the plane: He's trying to light his shoe! It's a shoe bomb! Get him!
- Maxwell Smart: No, it's gum.
- Lady on the plane: Gun? Lady on the plane: he's got a gun!
- Maxwell Smart: No... Guuummm.”
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart

“- Henry: So, do you work here?
- Beth: Yeah, I'm the Camp Director. You?
- Henry: Me, no, I don't work here.
- Beth: No, yeah, I'm the camp director... I would know if you worked here.
- Henry: Oh, right. ”
David Hyde Pierce - Henry Newman
Janeane Garofalo - Beth

“- Irene Bullock: I went to Venice, and one night I went for a ride in one of those rowboats that the man pushes with a stick. Not a matador. That was in Spain. But something like a matador.
- Godfrey: Do you, by any chance, mean a gondolier?”
Carole Lombard - Irene Bullock
William Powell - Godfrey