Misunderstanding quotes

“- Elaine Warner: He's an asshole.
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: Mmm... casserole.
- Elaine Warner: I said asshole.
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: I heard casserole!”
Leslie Mann - Elaine Warner
Tom Greening - Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy

“- Neal Page: Del... why did you kiss my ear?
- Del Griffith: Why are you holding my hand?
- Neal Page: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
- Del Griffith: Between two pillows...
- Neal Page: Those aren't pillows!”

Steve Martin - Neal Page
John Candy - Del Griffith

- Danny Roman: I like westerns, like Shane.
- Chris Sabian: It's interesting that you pick one where the hero dies.
- Danny Roman: What are you talking about? He doesn't die. He rides off into the sunset, and that kid says "Come back, Shane!".
- Chris Sabian: That's a common misconception, in the last frame he's slumped over on his horse.
-... (continue)(continue reading)
Samuel L. Jackson - Danny Roman
Kevin Spacey - Chris Sabian

“- Lt. Topper Harley: I could never find time for love. It's too heavy. It's an anchor that drowns a man. Besides, I got the sky, the smell of jet exhaust, my bike.
- Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson: A loner?
- Lt. Topper Harley: No. I own it.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley
William O'Leary - Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson

“- Girl Goosed in class: I'm a little worried... I've missed my last two periods.
- Miss McGee: That's all right, dear, you can make them up after school.
[realizes after the girl left what kind of 'periods' she meant, stares in horror]”
Janet Jones - Girl Goosed in class
Eve Arden - Miss McGee

“The moment you think you know what's going on in a woman's head is the moment your goose is well and truly cooked.”
Dominic Cooper - Howard Stark

What's "tainted", is that like "painted"?
Tessa Allen - Gracie Hiller

“- Akeelah: I'm naturally inquisitive.
- Dr. Larabee: Yes, which is also sometimes confused with being naturally obnoxious.”
Keke Palmer - Akeelah
Laurence Fishburne - Dr. Larabee

“- Carter: Who died, Lee?
- Lee: You!
- Carter: Detective Yu?
- Lee: Not Yu, you!
- Carter: Who?
- Lee: You!
- Carter: Who?
- Lee: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
- Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth?”
Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

“- Agent John Bannister: He was reaching for something. I was worried for my life. So I tried to hit you. I should have hit you the fuck harder.
- Man in Orange Suit: That's such bullshit.
- Agent John Bannister: Oh, so now you speak English?
- Man in Orange Suit: If you knew any Spanish, you'd know I was barely speaking it a minute ago.”
Forest Whitaker - Agent John Bannister
Billy Blair - Man in Orange Suit

“Daddy's gonna play with his fire hose. ...That didn't sound right.”
Ellen Lee DeGeneres - Janet Hall

“- Rachel 2: Once you’re declared insane, and anything you do is called part of that insanity. Reasonable protests are ‘denial’. Valid fears ‘paranoia’.
- Teddy Daniels: Survival instincts are ‘defense mechanisms’.
- Rachel 2: You’re smarter than you look, Marshal. That’s probably not a good thing.”
Patricia Clarkson - Rachel 2
Leonardo DiCaprio - Teddy Daniels

“- Castillo: Did you hire me?
- Jane: I'm sorry?
- Castillo: Did you hire me?
- Jane: No, no...
- Castillo: I hired you!
- Jane: No, nobody hired me. I cannot be hired. Unless you mean in the uh, you know, the technical sense, then yes, I probably was hired.”
Joaquim de Almeida - Castillo
Sandra Bullock - Jane

“- Disgust: Hey, guys? What's pub-er-ty?
- Joy: I don't know. It's probably not important.”
Mindy Kaling - Disgust
Amy Poehler - Joy

“Being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses is it not?”
Howard Stern - Himself

“- Sketch: Eclectic.
- Margaret: What's that?
- Frankie: You plug your box in the wall and it gives you power, stupid.”
Ron Johnson - Sketch
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Margaret
Devin Kamin - Frankie

“Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning.”

Thomas Haden Church - Lyle Van de Groot

“- Dixie: Hey, what about your boyfriend? What was his name?
- Roxanne: Richard.
- Dixie: When's he coming?
- Roxanne: He's not. He's not coming.
- Dixie: What happened?
- Roxanne: We just ran out of gas. I guess I mistook sex for love.”
Shelley Duvall - Dixie
Daryl Hannah - Roxanne

“When the dust settles, the only thing left living in this world...will be metal.”
James Spader - Ultron

“- Fozzie Bear: Hello, I'd like an ice cream.
- Ice Cream Vendor: What do you want? Chocolate, vanilla, coffee, peach, fudge, rum, banana?
- Fozzie Bear: Honey.
- Ice Cream Vendor: Honey? I beg your pardon, I hardly know you.
- Fozzie Bear: Seriously, I'd like a honey ice cream cone for me, and a dragonfly ripple for my friend the frog.”
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear
Bob Hope - Ice Cream Vendor

“- Victoria Lasseter: Cherry Progressive, listen. Mandelbrot set is in motion. Echo Choir has been breached.
- Mike Howell: Is that a lyric from something?”
Connie Britton - Victoria Lasseter
Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell

“- Frank Drebin: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
- Jane Spencer: Goodyear?
- Frank Drebin: No, the worst.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin
Priscilla Presley - Jane Spencer

“- Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
- Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
- Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It's round, has three holes, and you put your fingers into it.
- Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this.”
Woody Harrelson - Roy Munson
Randy Quaid - Ishmael

If you think "Silence Of The Lambs" is what happens when Larry goes out to the barn, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy - Jeff Foxworthy

“- Crazy Eyes: He was tryin' to cast some spell on me like a wizard or somethin'.
- Longfellow Deeds: You sure about that?
- Crazy Eyes: On second thought maybe he was just wavin'.”
Steve Buscemi - Crazy Eyes
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds